Life is tough.
You get knocked down over and over again and, even though it’s hard, you have to get up and keep going.
And I think it’s safe to say that most of us could use a little pick-me-up now and then.
AskReddit users shared advice for people who are struggling with low self-esteem.
Let’s take a look.
1. Do something about it.
“Talk to a doctor. Talk to a therapist.
Medication is made for these kinds of problems. I ignored it into my 30s and now I have an anxiety disorder that requires medicine to prevent random panic attacks that feel more like bee stings or a shock collar than an actual depressive state of mind.
Stress will physically break you in ways that can’t be undone or fixed with “mind over matter.” Cortisol with f**k you up, man. You gotta do something about it.”
“I didn’t realize the importance and impact of self love because even when I thought I was doing it I was still resenting myself for the past.
You can’t fully engage in self love without self forgiveness. Understand that you deserve forgiveness, forgive yourself, then love yourself each day.”
3. It will end.
“You won’t just have good days and bad days. You may have good years and bad years. Maybe even good decades and bad decades.
Being mindful that whatever suck you’re in now may be over tomorrow or may last years but it will end and you will be happy once more helps.”
4. Ignore your inner critic.
“The biggest tip I ever got was to remember that “anxiety is a liar”.
With regards to my self-esteem, when that inner critic starts, I tell it off for lying to me.”
5. All in your head.
“I have anxiety too, and whenever I start to imagine the worst possible scenario about an upcoming event, this is REALLY doofy but I tell myself “I think you’re writing a fanfiction”.
By worrying and picturing the worst scenario, you’re making up a story that’s nothing more than fiction because it hasn’t actually happened. It’s no more real than any fictional movie/tv show you’ve watched recently.”
6. Takes a while.
“That self love isn’t a linear process.
You’re going to have days where you feel good about yourself, days where you feel okay and days where you can’t even look at yourself in the mirror but this doesn’t erase your progress.
Be gentle with yourself, allow yourself bad days and know that the feelings of low self esteem are temporary and part of the process. Having bad days doesn’t make you a failure, it doesn’t mean that all your efforts are for nothing, it just mean it’s a bad day.
You cannot h**e yourself into a version that you love.”
7. It works.
“That “fake it till you make it” feels like bulls**t at first, but actually helps you rewire how you think about yourself in the long run.
Also, talking to yourself as you would if you could talk to your younger self can really help some days.
I know that for me, taking care of myself can be hard, but thinking about it as if it was someone other than myself makes it easier to put in the effort.”
8. One of those days.
“It’s okay to have a down day where you just can’t function. Don’t feel guilty about it. Just don’t let me a down week.
But if you spend all day curled up in bed one day next week, it’s not the end of the world. It’s recharging! Don’t feel guilty.”
9. Just do it.
“You don’t have to enjoy it, but you do have to do it. Some things – like working, dishes, washing clothes, showering at least once a week – HAVE to be done. I’ve always struggled with routine things.
I don’t want to do it, I don’t feel like doing so it is so hard to complete it. My therapist told me this phrase just the other day and it blew my mind.
I don’t have to enjoy it, get mad about doing it, even want to do it, but I do have to do it. Reframing things in your mind is really helpful!”
10. We all have fears.
“I was told. “Everyone has fears.” Be upfront about what your fears are. If you think something will go badly is that what you fear will happen?
If it is understand that that is a fear, and it will help you explore why you might think that. Hence your worst case scenerio is filled with assumptions, which you can think about how real those are.
It’s okay to fear the worst case scenario, but it helped me to realize that I was putting that on the level with a lot of other things which were more probable.
But i go into every scenario understanding that I have some fears (anxieties) about how something might go; that’s okay, that’s normal, it wont tell me how to make a decision.”
11. Starts with you.
“Self-resentment and self-loathing can be a lifelong experience for a lot of people. If you want to change that though it starts with you.
As hard as it is take some time to look in the mirror today and tell yourself out loud that you deserve love, you deserve kindness, you deserve good days, and that it’s okay to hurt at the same time.”
12. Therapy is good.
“Therapy can save your a**. Therapy is like learning how to bob and weave, to avoid and deflect the punches that life throws at you.
S**t seems like common sense, but so does boxing really. Boxing is simple- punch the other guy, don’t get punched by the other guy. So why do boxers need trainers to tell them how to do it? Because it’s still way more complicated than it seems on the surface.
Therapy’s the same way. The everyday mental battle is way more complicated than we give it credit, even when we’re trying to appreciate how complicated it is. Get a therapist. You need someone in your corner with a towel, an outside perspective and some wise words to get you through the next round.”
Do you have any advice for people dealing with low self-esteem?
Please share with us in the comments.
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