I remember when I was in middle school and I was pretty down in the dumps.
Luckily, I had a solid support group of family members at home and they were able to help me get through my self-esteem issues.
But some folks don’t have anywhere to turn or anyone to talk to.
So we think this article could be very helpful to a lot of people out there.
Do you have any good advice for people who are struggling with low self-esteem?
Here’s how folks on AskReddit responded.
1. Exercise is important.
“Working out and setting goals is only effective as long as the source of your low self-confidence is something as controllable as weight.”
2. No one is paying attention.
“No one is paying as much attention to you as you think they are.
Everyone is too busy thinking or worrying about themselves.
If you think everyone is watching and judging you, you just end up crippling yourself.”
“If you cringe at things you have done or said in the past, that means you’ve grown as a person.
Growing and maturing is a good thing and changing your opinion based on new information is a sign of a healthy mental state.”
4. Get through the rough patches.
“I have definitely had very rough patches in my life, as has everyone I am sure. What gets me through is always telling myself. I am amazing. I went through all this rough s**t (name it) and I came out the other side.
I can do (name this thing) because I have already done much harder things than this. I also focus on how I carry myself. A good posture exudes confidence (and is good for you overall) and makes me fell inpervious to how I may feel inside.
Also I find getting good clothing that fit and flatter helps immensely, especially on those blah days.”
5. Keep a record.
“Write down often what you’ve accomplished and what you’re proud of. Reflect on those wins.
Did you get out of bed? Did you have less negative thoughts? Did you smile?
When you’re proud of those small wins, the hope is that you’ll see how many more wins you have but didn’t realize it.”
6. Do what makes you happy.
“There’s almost 8 billion of us on this rock. You’re never going to please them all, so don’t try.
Do what makes you happy and live like it’s your last day. Go to bed smiling and knowing you enjoyed the f**k out of it.
F**k everyone that tries to take your happiness from you. Live your own life and March to your own beat.”
7. Be easy on yourself.
“Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
8. Embrace it.
“There is a stark difference between being ‘alone’ and being ‘lonely’.
Embrace the small or rather large amounts of time you have to work on yourself; find passion in new things, love to read or write, relish hot coffee or count the things that you know you can do well or the things that you can do better.
But do it positively, know that nothing will be an instant fix and know that you are here for a set amount and with that come bad days, but the bad days can be good and they will certainly not last forever. You will be the last to look after yourself so begin to love yourself to make it easier on you.”
9. Be kind.
“Work on having your inner voice be kind to everyone, including you.
Also, everyone is faking it. Your boss is faking it. That one friend is faking it.
Nobody has their s**t together some folks just hide it better.”
10. This is good.
“I dealt with poor self esteem for a while and still do. Don’t worry, there is help.
Do things that make you happy, do things that make you feel accomplished, and work on not being afraid to not be agreeable or stand up for yourself.
Identify the things you’re most worried about being judged for and try to change that, make it one of your strong suits and so no one can judge you for it. Use your weaknesses to your advantage, and make them your strengths.”
11. The great outdoors.
“Quick workouts just to sweat and get the circulation going. But I must say, nature is the best remedy.
Go out there into the wilderness and take a brisk walk. Just focus your mind on everything that is living around you and appreciate the mother earth.
Notice the trees, blue sky, and take a deep breath and inhale that fresh air. Lay down in a field of grass just watch the clouds. It will really elevate your mood. You will then appreciate life more and that there’s a whole world out there to see.
Also you will notice that life in general is simple. This really helped me in my case.”
“If you’ve seen Schitt’s Creek, and you should, there’s a part where Alexis is telling an anxious David that no one cares.
They’re all just thinking about themselves and no one is thinking about him like he’s thinking about him. And she means it in a nice way. So just remember: nobody cares.”
“Self-esteem is built, it’s not something you are born with.
There are external factors of course, for example if your parents have raised you repeating that you were useless, it’ll be harder to build a good self-esteem.
However, you can reverse the cycle by reducing interaction with people who try to lower your self-esteem, even if it is family, that’s the first step. If you can’t avoid interaction (workplace), simply let the personal attacks be seen as empty words. Some criticism might be true, of course, but to recognize that, you have to do the internal work first.
The internal work comes when you have full honesty with yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, erase everything anyone ever told you about yourself, and have a truthful 1 on 1 with yourself. What do you like about yourself (even if people shamed you for it in the past)?
What do you dislike about yourself? How can you change what you dislike about yourself? If you can’t change it, learn to accept it. Fully embrace it. It is the way it is, and that particular aspect will never change (such as being “short”). Turn it into a strength if you can.
Then address the things you want to change, and change them. If your weight is an issue, eat better and exercise. If you tend to procrastinate, learn to develop rituals and discipline. If you’re a negative person, cultivate positive thinking. If you tend to get angry, learn to manage your emotions.
Then, go out into the world and challenge yourself. Your self-esteem and your confidence grow through CHALLENGE, not through comfort. When you manage to do something you thought impossible, you will gain a lot of confidence.
By living a life of constantly challenging yourself, setting goals and reaching them, you will build an unbreakable confidence and self-esteem, because you know you’re able to go through pain and suffering to achieve your goals. Whatever people tell you from that point will mostly feel like them projecting their insecurities on you (it’s the case most of the time).
You will know FOR A FACT, what you can do, because you have proved it to yourself in the real world, and you don’t need any external validation.
That’s when you get respect for yourself, this is how confidence grows, and from this point, you don’t need anyone’s opinion to feel “better about yourself”. You already know who you are and what you are capable of.
There is no easy, comfortable, safe, warm, lovey, soft way to develop true confidence though. These will always be cop outs, rationalization, empty words.
Action is what drives change, proof of that change in the real world is what makes you grow confident, confidence is what makes you see the emptiness of people’s opinion about “who they think you are”.”
Do you have any good advice to add?
If so, please do it in the comments.
Thanks in advance!