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You know, dogs are people too. I mean, not literally. Because they’re better than people. Which is why it’s so confusing when they try to PRETEND they’re people. Don’t they know they’ve already got it made?

Here are fourteen dogs having an identity crisis in the world of hoomans.

14. Bonjour!

This is Pierre. He would like to share a croissant with you, please.

13. Just the facts

This is Professor Adams. She is at the forefront of her field.

12. Attention!

This is Sergeant Roger Hewitt, and his human Dave.

11. Warm and fuzzy

Meet Kevin. He has an excellent vinyl collection he’d love to show you.

10. To the Max!

Mayor Max makes sure to always keep his campaign pawmises.

9. A clean start

Terrance here is feeling like it’s a brand new day.

8. Know when you’re licked

Charlotte is an emo kid at heart, would like a hug please.

7. Support dogs

Jamie and Max suggest that you turn the ball off and then turn it back on again.

6. Guardian angel

It’s George’s first time in the bodyguard business but he’s determined to get it right.

5. Paw and order

Shea here would like to report a vicious crime, please.

4. The look

This is Patricia and she just sent you some super hot fire.

3. Stick it out

This is Peter, and he is on a very important business trip.

2. Very illuminating

Meet Susan – she has impeccable fashion sense.

1. Work it out

Louie is just trying to get to the bottom of things.

If those good bois and good girls ever DID become people, they’d be the best people, hands down.

What’s your favorite thing about dogs?

Tell us in the comments.