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Let’s get funny and let’s get honest, shall we?
I’m talking specifically about the parenting department. If you have kids, you know it’s a constant struggle of push and pull and keeping them in line…with some occasional sprinkles of love dashed in here and there for good measure.
But, one thing is for sure. It’s also a pretty hilarious endeavor, this parenting thing.
So let’s take a look at some tweets from parents that are very funny and VERY honest.
1. That’s not a good start.
Let’s hope that things get better very soon.
Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) June 24, 2020
2. That was a sick burn from an 8-year-old.
Now you need to come up with a sweet burn of your own, Dad…
8-year-old: Are convertibles cool?
Me: I used to drive one.
8: So no?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 24, 2020
3. Meet the sun. His name is Bob.
That makes perfect sense.
3yo: does the sun have a name?
Me: the sun goes by many names but we just call it the sun.
3yo: no the sun is named bob.
Me: oh I didn’t know that.
3yo: that’s because you’re not smart.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 25, 2020
4. You really disappointed him.
Not a Starbucks fan…
me: I can’t pretend I’m not disappointed
me: I understand the boys and even the weed, but I thought I taught you better than this
16: *holding a Starbucks coffee* I’m sorry, Dad
— bacon popsicle 💄 (@Gupton68) June 30, 2020
5. No, not that!
Anything but the recorder!
Me: You kids need to start finding your own belongings.
Kid: Look, I found my recorder.
Me: Son of a bitch.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 25, 2020
6. You have it all figured out.
What kind of magic are you working here?
I called everyone in my household by their correct name today, in case you needed a parenting expert.
— The Dad #BLM Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) June 30, 2020
7. Not what that kid expected.
The Tooth Fairy better up the ante.
Me: Did the tooth fairy leave you money?
Me: What do you call the two quarters under your pillow?
8: An insult.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 29, 2020
8. Those kids sound cool!
Bad to the bone!
I was celebrating the fact my kids were all playing together nicely.
Turns out my 8yo opened a Sharpie “tattoo shop” in his bedroom.
My 2yo has “tattoo” barbed wire across her chest and a skull with DEADLOCK scrolled down her arm.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) July 1, 2020
9. What is happening here?
Not a good sign…be very careful…
My son just took the kitchen trash out without being asked…so yes, we have reached the “end of days”.
— Shade 5 🎬 (@Shade510) July 1, 2020
10. Sounds disgusting!
I meant “delightful”!
Motherhood is a journey… uphill, both ways, tired, through something wet and something sticky with the vague scent of sour milk and rotten eggs…
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) July 1, 2020
11. Okay, who did it this time?
The joys of motherhood.
About 50% of parenting is just arguing about which kid did or did not flush the toilet.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) June 27, 2020
12. What kind of parent would do that?
What were they thinking?!?!
Just remember, no matter how bad your day is going, there are some parents out there with white furniture
— ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) July 1, 2020
13. You animal you.
Are you scared yet? Of your own children?
My 12 year old just pulled a loose molar out of his mouth and handed it to me without even looking up children are absolutely terrifying
— Shenanigans (@Shenanigans_luv) June 24, 2020
14. This is a new low.
Are you looking into a divorce?
Just caught my husband dancing to the Moana soundtrack alone after the kids were in bed so stay woke people there’s always a new parenting low right around the corner
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) June 29, 2020
Okay, parents, now we want to hear from you.
In the comments, tell us about the crazy and wacky things that your kids have been up to lately.
We can’t wait to hear from you. Thanks!