Remember when George Costanza said that he would drape himself in velvet if it was socially acceptable?
Well, in the spirit of that brave declaration, let’s hear from folks on AskReddit about what they’d do if it was acceptable…
Let’s see how weird things got with these folks.
1. Full speed ahead.
Look, it’s cool you want to stand around the supermarket, but I’m just here to sprint past 60 aisles of not animal crackers and get my animal crackers.”
“Turn around 180 degrees when you realise you’re going in the wrong direction without doing some “whoops” motion as though the people around you care.”
3. Time to argue.
“Argue with people, I just feel like there should be the equivalent of a an old school duel.
Someone cut you off in the car, didnt give you the right change on a purchase Walk 10 paces from each other, then just a nice verbal berating of each other for a minute, then walking away.
I feel like so many issues could be resolved and deescalated.”
4. I need a drink.
“Go shopping with a glass of fine whisky.
Only way I could stand going into those gigantic shopping malls.”
5. Just being friendly.
“I’m a guy.
I would totally smile at kids, wave at them, and comment on how cute they are.”
6. For the ladies.
“As a woman, walk around with no shirt on in the summer.
In the South it’s so humid and I also love swimming with no top!
I wish it was okay in the US to do that.”
7. Take it off.
“This might be a little niche but I’m a woman with alopecia and when it gets too hot or uncomfortable to wear a wig I wanna just whip it off no matter where I am but I can imagine it would be quite jarring to see someone just peel their hair off their head and shove it in a bag like it’s a chihuahua.”
8. You look great.
“Tell people that they are attractive.
Unfortunately I’m one of those people who looks intimidating/creepy no matter what I’m doing so it’s not considered acceptable.”
“Seeing a sad person who probably needs a hug, and go hug them, pat their head and wish them better times.”
10. Just go for it.
I mean, why wait in line for a bathroom when there is a perfectly useful tree or shrub out front?
And waste water flushing? Think of the children!”
11. Just be yourself.
Seriously. As an autistic person, I have to grab my “going out in public” mask all the goddamn time like it’s a pacifier for a baby.
I want to be able to be my silly and goofy self without being branded as a mentally ill serial k**ler/child abductor/person who really should be in a straightjacket at the local psych ward.”
12. Go right ahead.
“Use the men’s bathroom!
Every time I’m out like at a mall or something there is a crazy long line for the women’s restroom and the men’s bathroom is right there with zero line.
One of these days I’m just going to use the men’s bathroom.”
13. It’s happening…
“Wear a cloak.
My roommate at university and I started doing this last fall.
Since then, we’ve noticed a lot more cloaks (and cloak-adjacent garments) on campus.”
14. Move it!
“Physically grab people and move them out of the way when they’re spaced out in the grocery store taking up the entire aisle.”
What would you do in public if it was socially acceptable?
Let us know in the comments.