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Most of us have used Amazon in some capacity, and that’s because  Jeff Bezos knows exactly how to take our money.

But we can fight back against the always-grinning, cash-devouring capitalist cardboard monster known as Jeffy with some snappy, and delightful, personal reviews on the products we purchase from his behemoth of a website.

Let’s check out some of the best examples…

1. Morgan Freeman narrates…

“Ahhh, yes, the mighty man-wolves of Wall street. Fueled on designer drugs and delicious penny stocks. Very beautiful, very powerful.”

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/d5b4et

2. Math is hard, dude.

2(b) or not 2(b)=?

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/dblv4q

3. Dammit, Janet.

I can still hear you in my soul.

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/f2xw7f

4. That art degree, tho.

Currently cutting it as a sandwich artist. And blog writer. You want that toasted?

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/dx8t8x

5. A barrel of fun.

Shove that in your Keystone pipeline.

55 Gallons of Lubricant
byu/vaderdarthvader inamazonreviews

6. Shoulda’ bought the Dutch oven.

But I’m fine with the bag of precooked beans.

It’s a trap!
byu/ReasonablyRetro inamazonreviews

7. There’s a joke here.

I’m not the one to make it.

I love when reviewers post photos
byu/F-this inamazonreviews

8. One-ply is just as bad.

Whoa, ah hot! Hot, hot, hot. Hothothothot.

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/f1mmm6

9. The geese are dead, Karen.

I SAID THE GEESE ARE DEAD, KAREN!

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/e01knv

10. 10/10 would roll down this hill again.

Only in these pants–and only in every other color.

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/jfzlfc

11. “When was the last time we played Nightcrawlers?”

Only with the good lube, Charlie.

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/cztm4b

12. Hey, girl.

Nice leg…gings

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/ie9pif

13. I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready.

Catching some DoodleBob vibes here. Me hoy minoy, amma’ right?

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/fmbh8g

14. Certified rotten.

As a friend and influencer.

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/j4k61g

15. Swing away.

I know a fairy that would pay for a swing or two with that for a handful of change.

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/e8tnvy

Reviews are important because they give a company or service an accurate and firsthand account of their product or service, so don’t ever stop with the accurate accounts of such things. If you know what I mean.

Do you have a funny review story, tell us about it in the comments!