Once you get on a train, a bus, or any other form of public transportation, it’s a roll of the dice. You truly never know what you’re going to get because…well…people are total weirdos.

You might encounter a wide variety of lunatics, breakdancers, poets, musicians, magicians, or any combination of the above.

So hang on tight, don’t lean against the doors, and enjoy these funny public transit tweets.

1. Thanks a lot, pal.

But maybe he’s right. Wait and see!

On the train, a man just burped in my ear and then just left the carriage saying “it’s good for you mate”. Fair enough better out than in and all that but at least stay and enjoy your own cheese and onion breath that you’ve left on the side of my cheek.

— Blake Richardson (@NewHopeBlake) November 30, 2018

2. That should be a federal offense.

Send that child DIRECTLY to prison!

I don't believe children should be tried as adults but the little girl behind me on the train has been SLURPING on her own hair for three hours and she should absolutely go to jail for at least 5 years.

— Adam Ellis (@adamtotscomix) August 17, 2019

3. Your grandpa seems like a legend.

Strong AF!

https://twitter.com/b_flex14/status/763803311007039488?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fdaniellaemanuel%2F21-tweets-that-will-make-anyone-who-uses-public

4. Or it might be Inspector Gadget?

I want to talk with this person immediately.

I think there's a spy on my train. pic.twitter.com/sBrdmSoyV4

— Jake Lambert (@jakelambertcom) September 5, 2017

5. Might as well just play along.

Tell people they have to pay a fine and see what happens.

A man just got on my train wearing a blue shirt and a red waistcoat and everyone is trying to show him their tickets.

The first few times he tried to explain he is not the conductor, but he gave up and is now just checking and nodding as he walks down the carriage.

— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) November 18, 2017

6. That takes some serious guts.

Heyyyyyyyy Instagram, it’s your girl Subway Suzie…

https://twitter.com/benyahr/status/1162847464036024320?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fdaniellaemanuel%2F21-tweets-that-will-make-anyone-who-uses-public

7. That’s the last thing she wanted to hear.

Good luck kid!

https://twitter.com/mookTHEmonster/status/1154835616170835969?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fdaniellaemanuel%2F21-tweets-that-will-make-anyone-who-uses-public

8. Zing! He probably shut up after that.

And if he didn’t… it would be the most manny thing he could have done, right?

Doing my makeup on the train this morning and a random man told me he likes women to have a more natural look. I told him I like men to have a more silent look. 🤷‍♀️

— Amy Fowler (@AmyAbroad) August 15, 2018

9. Let me give your my entire backstory first.

“I’m so glad you asked. Let’s start at the beginning.”

i got on the train & a man asked me if i was from here and i was like well im from the bronx, my parents are from the dominican repub— why he stopped me and was like oh we just need to get to 6th ave and wanted directions KHDUWISAHXVVSH i almost switched train carts

— jennifer (@dentalkween) August 27, 2019

10. That’s a little too intense.

I hate people like this. HATE.

https://twitter.com/marcformarc/status/1016432817214025728?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fdaniellaemanuel%2F21-tweets-that-will-make-anyone-who-uses-public

11. That is 100% NOT COOL.

I’m going to practice some deep spanking here pretty soon.

a child just bit me on the subway and his mom told him to actualize an apology and led him thru some deep breathing and oms and then thanked me for the wisdom of eastern religions brought to the world so….

i still hate park slope is the moral of this story

— discourse wallah (@krutika) February 19, 2018

12. Annnnndddd, let’s end with a big winner.

I mean… this guy is an absolute legend. Does not give ANY f**ks. Bravo!

I'm on a subway where the conductor said on the loudspeaker: "The next stop is Suck My D**k avenue." No one on this train even blinked. #mta

— Candice Frederick (@ReelTalker) March 13, 2019

We want to hear your strange tales from taking public transportation!

Share them with us in the comments!