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Marriage is a give-and-take endeavor that is filled with ups and downs, highs and lows, peaks and valleys…
And, apparently, a whole lot of stupidity coming from the men in these relationships. Or maybe we could categorize it as “annoyances.”
Either way, the point is that most guys out there should consider themselves very lucky to have a wife that doesn’t kick them out in the street because of the way they act. Hey, I’m just speaking the truth, here.
Let’s take a look at some funny tweets from husbands who I think are probably driving their wives a little insane…
1. Here’s the evidence…
She better have a good comeback for this.
my wife was feeling pretty confident walking into divorce court but she didn’t know i had pictures pic.twitter.com/3EAthvsd2S
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) June 22, 2020
2. This marriage is now over.
But that joke was totally worth it.
My wife said I walk like an elephant and she can hear me coming a mile away. So I did the mature thing and snuck up on her 60 seconds later and scared the shit out of her. She has now filed for divorce.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 29, 2020
3. Oh, way to go!
I’m sure she really appreciates that.
I don’t always pick out the wrong item when my wife sends me to the store but when I do I buy it in the mega-pack.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 18, 2019
4. Oh, there is…believe me…
There’s a wrong way to do EVERYTHING. You’ll learn.
Before I got married I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) June 10, 2015
5. There’s a whole system in place.
And you better not screw it up!
Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife's home.
— Troy Johnson (@_troyjohnson) May 28, 2015
6. That is HOT.
I’m sure she was very impressed.
Just regaled my wife with a story about a grocery coupon that should have worked but didn’t but then the guy got it to work after all.
Don’t tell me the spark is gone.
— The Distracted Dad (@Distracted_Dad) February 28, 2018
7. Oh…sure, no problem.
This spark IS gone.
wife: I want you-
me: [takes off clothes]
wife: -to do the laundry
me: [puts them in washer]
— *sigh*clops (@aotakeo) July 22, 2019
8. Let’s go to slide #32.
It was a three-hour presentation.
My wife asked me if she had any ‘annoying’ habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation.
— Batty (@BattyMclain) June 23, 2020
9. You know who’s in charge.
Don’t question her authority.
It’s my wife’s birthday so she gets to pick the restaurant, unlike all those other times when… wait for it… she gets to pick the restaurant.
— Jester D (@JustMeTurtle) June 18, 2019
10. You’re starting to learn…
You are becoming wise, friend.
Being married grants you one superpower and that’s the ability to tell what couples just had a fight in the car right before a party
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) August 26, 2018
11. Maybe she’s trying to tell you something.
Through texting, I mean…
Just listed my wife as my emergency contact and added the note “please text, she doesn’t answer calls.”
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) May 15, 2018
12. She’s doing research.
Watch your back, buddy.
My wife’s binge watching Snapped, so I cancelled my life insurance and haven't slept or eaten in days.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) April 29, 2018
13. Stuck in the middle.
This is a genuine crisis.
Not praising your mom-in-law's cooking means u don't care for wife's relatives
Praising it means you don't like wife's cooking#HusbandLife
— The Bad Doctor (@DOCTORATLARGE) October 16, 2016
14. There’s no escape.
Haven’t you learned that by now?
Txt from wife: where r u
Wife:can u feed cat
M: I mean garage
W:bring in laundry
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) March 16, 2015
15. I’m sure she’s a big fan of this.
I told you not to do that again!
When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" People always clap when she wakes up.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 18, 2015
Now we want to hear from you!
Has your husband done anything particularly ridiculous or dumb lately?
Or maybe YOU’RE the husband who’s been doing some stupid things?
Either way, talk to us in the comments and give us a good laugh!
We look forward to hearing from you!