Marriage is tough, right?
There are a lot of compromises to be made, a lot of back-and-forth battles…and, if we’re being totally honest, a lot of stupidity and bone-headed moves by the men in these relationships.
Hey, it is what it is, right?
Men are kind of dummies…and this is coming from a member of the male tribe…I think I know my own people pretty well.
So here’s a set of hilarious tweets that the men AND the ladies will enjoy thoroughly.
Because they are right on the money as far as how clueless, funny, and straight-up DUMB men can be sometimes.
Let’s take a look.
1. This is gonna be awesome!
Don’t tell me you’re not really into this!
Welcome to marriage. Here's the new way you fold towels.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 1, 2020
2. I was supposed to know this?
What the heck is going on around here?
today my wife said “guess who i saw in costco today?” then made me guess for like 10 min and when i didnt guess it was like “remember that super tan lady we saw walking down the street last week..” thats who she thought i might guess. a lady we dont even know that we saw one time
— slick (@dlicj) June 25, 2020
3. Not what she was expecting.
Your marriage sounds very spicy.
girl at bar: i’d let you do that thing in bed that your wife won’t
me: [visibly excited] eat cookies?
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) June 14, 2020
4. Don’t mess with her like that.
He’s not giving up this power.
Me: Want me to drive for a while?
Me: Oh. That wasn't a real offer.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 26, 2020
5. It’s best to be prepared.
Don’t you think so?
Anytime my wife has scissors in her hand I dial 9-1 on my phone and wait.
— ? Karma Police ? (@KarmaPolice238) June 30, 2020
6. Feed me!
You must be driving her nuts.
my wife says I’m acting like a toddler but maybe she shouldn’t have put my food on the wrong plate
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 29, 2020
7. Don’t do it!
Just a heads up, if you exchange the gift your wife got you, even if it’s her idea and she’s quote “totally fine with it”, this act will be used against you in a future argument at some point in the next ten years
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) June 30, 2020
8. Just nod your head and agree.
Don’t question her in these areas…
ME: *walks by to put anything away*
WIFE: [not even looking up from her phone] that doesn’t go there
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 22, 2020
9. A game of Chicken.
It’s a very tense stand-off.
Marriage is about finding that one special person to play “who’s going to empty the bathroom trashcan” chicken with for the rest of your lives.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 9, 2020
10. How does she do it?
You eat all of it, don’t you?
My wife can slice cheese without eating a slice herself and I am starting to wonder if she is even human.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 4, 2020
11. Whew! That was close!
You don’t want to go there.
I forgot today was our anniversary but my wife forgot too and that’s really the best gift she has ever given me.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 16, 2020
12. Honey, I got 50 bags of Doritos!
And I lost the receipt!
I don’t always pick out the wrong item when my wife sends me to the store but when I do I buy it in the mega-pack.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 18, 2019
13. The thrill is gone.
Shot down again.
Wife: is it hard?
Me: not yet but if we get naked-
Wife: the taxes, not your dick.
Me: oh…yeah I’m pretty confused actually.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 24, 2020
Okay, now we want to hear from the guys and the gals in the comments.
Guys: if you’ve been an annoying or just a plain dumb husband lately, tell us all about it (and hope that she forgives you).
Ladies: if your husband has been driving you crazy lately and has been kind of a dummy, we want to hear your side of the story.
We can’t wait to hear from you!