I genuinely have no idea what the rules and protocols are for posting things on the internet. It seems like pretty much anything goes. Just be careful that the wrong people don’t catch wind of it.
You can definitely find a wide array of strangely honest takes if you spend any time at all scrolling through Twitter.
Take these, for example.
15. The hotspot
Ah, that’s hot. That’s hot.
i live in rural ireland, if the vaccine turns me into a wifi hotspot it would solve me a lot of problems
— Ciara 🇵🇸🇵🇸 (@ciarahatesu) April 17, 2021
14. Real chemistry
It’s time to learn a textbook lesson.
Having chemistry with someone doesn't mean you have to date them (or sleep with them).
Maybe you're supposed to open up a taco truck together.
Chemistry is good for all relationships, not just romantic ones.
— Shaun Galanos | Love Coach (@thelovedrive) December 9, 2020
13. The dip
It was pretty great.
I see why the white homies was dipping apples in peanut butter during snack time as a shorty. Did it for the first time, yesterday. That shit bussin.
— Black Big Lebowski (@LaJethroJenkins) April 16, 2021
12. Turning the tables
Hit ’em with that reverse card and watch the chaos ensue.
Job I applied for 4yrs ago just now emailed me back, ima go through the process and quit the first day
— captain nigga (@Demetrius_wrigh) April 15, 2021
11. You got it
Hey, whatever you say chief.
“You got it” pretty much equates to “I disagree with everything you just said but I don't give a fuck enough to continue this conversation or feel like arguing.”
— TIJC – TvkeOver Gang 🦍🙏🏼 (@JadedCobain) January 13, 2021
10. To go where?
This is the way.
I purposely try to hide women’s to-go boxes on dates so that they’ll forget it in the car and I can eat it the next day 🤞🏽
— Rubba. (@RubbaBand_Grant) April 18, 2021
9. Ya filthy scab
“We actually have a whole system for taking care of this, but thanks I guess.” – your body
me:*picks at a scab*
my blood cells who just spent hours building it: pic.twitter.com/BcVv3EOmtl
— jaggi✨ (@_t_o_xx_i_c_) July 9, 2020
8. Body of evidence
You best do your research before you try to bring this kind of heat.
Shrek grossed 484 million just so we’re clear https://t.co/t4COnBj5DG
— Kraven (@prettycoolmf) July 22, 2020
7. Very enlightening
I think there are very few lighthouses left in the world that actually require operators to live in them.
Which is kind of a bummer.
do lighthouses have wifi? i feel like i would be a great fit to work in a lighthouse. i love the sound of waves. i hate people. i look great in a cableknit turtleneck. i'm a terrific brooder. i would fuck a ghost if pressed.
— the winnipeg jorts 🏳️🌈 no justice no peace (@dadvansss) April 18, 2021
6. My emotions!
Wait, that’s illegal.
Girls be like “I want an emotional guy” then stop talking to you after you cry when Sergeant Johnson dies in Halo 3
— Louie (@louis_vlone) April 19, 2020
5. Credit where credit is due
Way to go, everybody!
do u ever watch a film to the end of the credits, pick a name, and think 'hey Clint Youngreen, assistant bear trainer #3, I bet you thought nobody would see you down here, nice job pal'
— shitty watercolour (@SWatercolour) September 15, 2018
4. More quieter
Yeah breakups hurt, but have you ever been a super talkative, enthusiastic person but slowly over the years & after trauma after trauma watch yourself become more quieter and quieter to the rest of the point where that enthusiastic bubbly person just isnt who you are anymore?
— Muhammad (@Muhamma32891841) January 18, 2020
3. Think your thoughts
There aren’t a lot of options on the table.
“ur overthinking this” bro I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available
— ok whatever (@fuckoff__7) August 21, 2020
2. Just cool it
I think your account might be frozen.
Somebody used my card on Amazon for $3399 for a fucking LG fridge I can't wait to tell them to hold shipment till I can get to the warehouse so they can stuff me in that same fridge and upon arrival I'm jumping out and beating everybody ass at that address
— Plush Gawd 💋👑 (@I_Be_kOoLz) April 14, 2021
1. The rush
As someone who saves coffee for special occasions, can confirm.
Drug tip: If you stop drinking coffee for a few weeks, it only takes one cup for you to lean out the window and scream “YOU THERE, BOY, WHAT DAY IS TODAY??” at a confused goose.
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) May 16, 2018
I genuinely have no idea what we’re doing with this internet of ours but it sure is fun.
What weird confession would you like to broadcast to the world today?
Leave it in the comments.