You know, I like you. I know we haven’t met, but you’re just a nice person and I can’t really put my finger on the reason.
Maybe that’s why the topic of this post is so intriguing to me… because these people actually have REAL strategies for getting people to like you… almost immediately.
Take a look and take notes!
1. This is going to come up a lot…
Pay attention to the person speaking and acknowledge what they’re saying.
When it comes to your turn to speak, chat for a short while, but bring it back around to them by asking open ended questions and continue to actively listen.
I don’t know the full science behind it, but I read something before that it creates a comfortable relationship in the person’s brain and they will instinctively like you more.
2. She’s making it pretty easy.
Laugh at my dumb jokes.
What can I say, I’m a simple woman… flattery goes far.
3. Or… you CAN fake it.
From what I have witnessed a complete lack of interest with fake attention, like head nodding, and an obviously faked sympathetic tone that corresponds with the whatever has been said by the other party is all you need as long as the people talk about themselves.
And when you actually listen to people and put some thought into your responses then you have somewhat of a 50/50 chance of being considered boring or smart and friendly.
4. The friend theory
This is interesting. Starting a conversation as if we’re already friends helps so much.
I used to work at Starbucks, and on my first day at a new store one of my coworkers walked up to me with the newsletter thing and said “I like to look for cute boys in here.”
It was funny, and I immediately liked him and bonded with him more than coworkers who simply introduced themselves or asked basic small talk questions.
5. A great conversation… is one sided?
People say that I’m one of the most comfortable people to talk to, and that they feel like they can talk with me about anything. A great conversationalist, etc
Little do they know, most of my side of the conversation is just asking questions and using their answers to ask another question.
6. Got your back!
Stick up for someone. I (plumber) was meeting with a group of realtors to discuss some repairs that needed to be done at a house. One of the realtors was talking about another agent and said that she was retarded.
Jason, one of the agents, stood up for her. “hey man, it’s not cool to talk about her behind her back like that. And you shouldn’t use the R word”
Massive respect since then.
7. Simple things don’t purposefully.
Any act of kindness. One time a friend of mine asked to carry my computer bag and i was like woah i never noticed him before.
It wasn’t heavy but him being considerate really got me.
8. Hugs, not drugs
I went to summer camp a couple years in a row when I was a teenager.
The first year I went, on the first day, there were other teenagers standing outside holding signs that said “FREE HUGS”. Well, I took them up on the offer and got a big hug, it was awesome!
The next year, I was one of the teenagers holding a sign that said “FREE HUGS
Compliment something about me that could be changed in 5 minutes or less, like a piece of clothing or my hair. Lot of people don’t realize that complimenting body parts isn’t something you do to a stranger because it’s objectifying and uncomfortable.
That aside, anyone who cares about what I write about is gonna make a friend real effin quick because I crave validation for my writing. I could talk endlessly but I don’t because I know no one wants to hear that sh*t but if someone does I will die on the spot.
10. Looking interested…
Within a conversation try to find what is exciting them at the moment and try to include whatever knowledge you have of that topic into conversation or look interested into what they are saying.
Sometimes people just want good listeners.
11. It doesn’t have to be hard…
Just be friendly and sincere.
If they have an authentic positivity and seem happy to be interacting with me, that’s all it takes. It makes me think “well this is a nice person.”
Even if I feel like it’s not entirely genuine, I’ll at least appreciate that they’re trying and that’s worth a lot on its own.
12. Everybody needs to pitch in…
Mutual contribution to the conversation or discussion. It’s a huge turnoff when one person is carrying the conversation. It is equally frustrating when one person is very succinct and just contributes to the conversation by asking questions… it very much becomes an interview/interrogation. If you want someone to have a good first impression:
– be lighthearted (positive)
– ask genuine questions but also contribute to the conversation
– answer questions genuinely, people pick up on things especially in the beginning of the start of a relationship.
13. Turn it on!
Learn their name, nod your head when you and them are talking, and be interested in meeting them.
I have to turn it on, but my wife says she can tell when I do it.
14. Ask me what I asked you!
If we’re talking and I ask you a get-to-know-you type question (What was the last concert you went to? What do you think about XYZ? etc.), it fills my heart with love and joy if you ask me the same.
It’s not because I’m waiting to tell a story but it shows that you are actually engaged in conversation instead of broadcasting who you are.
15. All about the canines
This is going to sound so shallow compared to the other comments, but if someone compliments my dog I instantly think “this person was raised right”.
When the person makes you feel valued – that talking with you is a pleasure, not just perfunctory.
Door-to-door salespeople are really good at this.
So… you know what I’m going to ask you, right? Of course you do, because you’ve been paying attention.
Let me know in the comments your tips and tricks for getting people to like you. We love reading your thoughts!