I have a theory that you can tell exactly how much money someone makes using only their bathroom as a test.

Specifically – how weird is their sink? Plebs like you and I have normal, god-fearing sinks. Probably white, or if we’re feeling very daring, black, with a concave indentation into the countertop, a spout, and two no-nonsense knobs.

But the sinks of the upper crust? Have you seen these things? Bowls protruding upwards obscenely. Spouts mimicking waterfalls in defiance of nature. Clamshells, stones, basens, irregular puddle patterns, the decadence knows no bounds. The weirder the sink, the richer the person. It works every time.

I’m not sure, however, how to decode these other bathroom innovations. Let’s look at each one and see what it says about the owner.

15. Emergency alarm

This says “I am cool and considerate.”

Emergency alarm chords running along the floor of the disabled toilet in Berlin Airport in case someone falls over and requires assistance from mildlyinteresting

14. Dress codes

This says “I’m ready to head into the now.”

The female on this restroom sign isn’t wearing a dress from mildlyinteresting

13. The mystery shelf

This says “surrender your coins if ye dare, and witness what horrors or bliss await you in the cabinet of secrets.”

WITT found in a WalMart’s men’s restroom? from whatisthisthing

12. The changing table

This says “yes, we dare to acknowledge that even MEN have children.”

Auto glass repair shop Men’s bathroom has a full blown standalone changing table from mildlyinteresting

11. Screen time

This says “we know our popcorn is intestinally problematic.”

This movie theater has screens in the bathrooms so you don’t miss any of the action from mildlyinteresting

10. Tie it up

This says “you gotta try harder, man.”

In Tallinn airport, one of the mens bathrooms has step by step instructions on tying a tie. from mildlyinteresting

9. Sinking feeling

This says “we are not above public shaming to ensure hygiene.”

This bar has the sinks located just outside of the bathrooms so everyone can see if you didnt wash your hands from mildlyinteresting

8. Free for thee

This says “sorry this took so long.”

My school put free pad and tampon vending machines in the girls’ bathrooms from mildlyinteresting

7. Rainy day

This says “ya’ll really need to stop being wasteful and quit worrying about how clean the water is that you’re literally about to poop into.”

The toilets in these bathrooms flushes with rainwater. from mildlyinteresting

6. Combo time

This says “no thank you, please.”

This Japanese toilet refills through a sink in the top so you can rinse your hands and re-use the water. from mildlyinteresting

5. Reflections

This says “I was placed here by a quirky 20-something customer and not the restaurant.”

This McDonalds have this sticker on their bathroom mirrors. from mildlyinteresting

4. The overlap

This says “we respect basic competency in design.”

These bathroom stall doors have an overlap to avoid that awkward crack. from mildlyinteresting

3. Before and after

This says “we know you love the taste of fish but everybody hates the smell.”

This sushi restaurant has two soaps in the bathroom. One for before you eat and one for after. from mildlyinteresting

2. Foot for thought

This says “things very rarely get cleaned here.”

The bathroom door at my college has a foot door opener from mildlyinteresting

1. The switch

This says “hey please don’t abuse this power.”

The bathroom I was in had a switch to let an employee know it needed attention. from mildlyinteresting

I think we’ve all learned a lot here today.

What do you think the future of bathrooms is?

Tell us in the comments.