In America we talk a lot about the First Amendment at the right to free speech. I for one find this very valuable, not just for the obvious reasons, but for the less obvious ones.

Namely: I can tell as many painful puns as I want and nobody’s allowed to hit me for it. That’s patriotic pride, right there.

Here are fifteen puns so bad they’re good again.

15. Anti-anty

Why is this guy looking at me so smug? I don’t like it. Somebody make him stop.

14. Holy sheet

Oh I’ve got some great formulas for that.

13. It’s a sign

I can hear the little bass line in my head right now.

12. On the level

I find this joke very uplifting.

11. Water, water everywhere

I really knee’ded this today.

10. Where no one has gone before

He’s gonna run to the bathroom at Whorf speed.

9. Car care

I can’t a ford any of them.

8. Pressing issues

It’s a very key word.

7. Highs and lows

You’re Lo Mein, you probably think this song is about food.

6. For loco

Ah yes, the transportation of the rust belt.

5. Sounds logical

Let’s Spock n’ roll.

4. Childish

These babies can do a lot of damage.

3. Do the math

Whatever else, you can always count on beer.

2. Back it up

How did my man afford TWO of these rarities?

1. Arg

Now the jingle is thoroughly entrenched in my brain.

You may want to react violently to those puns, but you’re not allowed. What a country.

What’s the worst pun you know?

Hit us with it in the comments.