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I’ve said it before and I’ll said it again: there are so many hilarious women out there that it can be hard to keep up with all the comedy. That’s especially true on Twitter.
That’s why we gather up these tweets so you can see the best of the best AND you can start following these funny gals so you’ll never miss another joke.
1. It’s an important question.
I did the thing where I let my 2½-year-old nephew take over my Animoji and he mostly had one question pic.twitter.com/uz7egeLOg2
— Jen Lewis (@thisjenlewis) October 3, 2019
2. I’d go check it out.
I’ve just convinced my mate that the inside of a cheese grater is in fact, a sick new nightclub pic.twitter.com/CQO75l8xvB
— 🌚🌝 (@jem_jemxoxo) October 3, 2019
3. Send it over here.
[at a restaurant]
woman: and i’ll have that without cheese
me: *leaning my entire body into the waiters line of sight from a neighboring table* i’ll have her cheese
— erin chack (@ErinChack) October 2, 2019
4. This is amazing.
my italian mother telling us a story at thanksgiving dinner pic.twitter.com/PeF65QFLlV
— grim monte 🖤☠️👻🎃 (@KimmyMonte) September 30, 2019
5. Looks human to me.
I swear to God my friend’s pet is actually a human in a cat form pic.twitter.com/9tJUJ174Fc
— G (@pepsicko) September 21, 2019
6. Conserving energy, okay?
I’m not lazy I’m energy efficient
— Shenanigans, but spooky (@Shenanigans_luv) September 30, 2019
7. Went downhill fast.
Been together since 4pm, no problems. I go to the bathroom ONCE 45 seconds in, and I have to rush out to this: pic.twitter.com/AN1iaZYe2k
— Madeline (@madelaneeee) September 27, 2019
8. Time to pay that fee.
buying a pregnancy test is just paying a late fee for your period
— Kie (@KielyHealey) October 4, 2019
9. I need to see the proof.
please present the signed permission slip from your therapist before approaching me romantically
— mary beth barone (@marybethbarone) October 3, 2019
10. They all have names.
date: can you take off your work gloves
Jim Henson: they have names
— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) October 4, 2019
11. I see it. Do you?
Conspiracy theory: Shia LaBeouf lost his passion in acting and purpose in life so he hibernated for a couple years and came back as a rapper with face tattoos named Post Malone. pic.twitter.com/3AGLsSIyzZ
— Hannah Berner (@beingbernz) September 17, 2019
12. Didn’t help too much…
Before coffee: I want to die
After coffee: Alright! Let's buy the rope
— Rachel McCartney (@RachelMComedy) September 30, 2019
13. I hear you on that one.
I talk a lot of shit for someone who has to be in bed by 9:30.
— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) September 12, 2019
14. A perfect little angle.
can y’all please stop getting dumb bitches pregnant. im tired of seeing “my little angle”
— 𝙎𝙠𝙮𝙡𝙖𝙧 ☁️ (@hxrtbitch) October 2, 2019
15. My mom did spend a lot of time on the phone in the ’80s.
in the 1980’s our moms were literally always on the phone with someone what tf were they always talking about, magnum p.i.? shoulder pads ?
— pony (@tigersgoroooar) September 28, 2019
See what I’m talking about? Hilarious stuff. And it keeps coming and coming and coming…
What are you faves? Share them with us in the comments! Or we won’t be friends any longer…