If there’s something about kids that’s universally charming, it’s how clueless they are. They’re learning all the time, about everything, and no one knows how their little minds really work.
Kids believe all sorts of things, and yeah, they think everything they do is normal – why wouldn’t they?
Looking back, though, these 16 people on Reddit realize their little brains were working to make sense of a world beyond their comprehension.
16. They’ll always find out.
I had a neighbour who had extremely (and I mean extremely) strict parents.
We were invited to a sleepover of about 5 or 6 girls at one of the other neighbor kid’s place and she was shocked to see that we had candy and popcorn and soda/pop to eat at our disposal after 6pm.
She had no idea. To us, it was normal sleepover snacks but to her it was like looking at Willy Wonka himself. Crazy.
15. That could seem fun?
Having a “path” through the house surrounded by boxes and junk stacked to the ceiling.
I grew up in a hoarder house.
Occasionally us kids would run too fast through the “path” knocking into the sides and the boxes and stuff would collapse on top of us.
14. Bless his heart.
Whispering what I just said back to myself.
Apparently I did it all the time as a kid and never noticed until a couple of friends pointed it out to me.
I would be like “Let’s play Barbies!” and then quietly let’s play Barbies. I have no idea what that was about.
13. His parents never told him?
I smiled with my lips on the inside of my mouth.
I don’t know how I managed to not learn how to smile properly, but I thought I was smiling normally until a kid said “stop smiling like that, you look weird” and I spent a good week looking up pictures of smiles and practicing how to smile
12. What did I just read?
Collecting roadkill and utilizing insects to clean the bones so I could collect them.
– [deleted user]
11. That’s one way to keep kids safe.
When you went to the sitter everyday, you were to sit on the couch and never move.
Seriously, my brothers, sister and I were forced to sit on the couch with the TV on at the sitters house, while her kids ran around like a bunch of hellions.
When we got a new sitter after moving, all four of us promptly sat on the couch and stayed there. Our new sitter pulled a bunch of toys out and sat in the floor and played with us.
10. He was trying hard.
Sleeping in the display beds at the furniture store.
My parents are divorced and when we were little we’d go week to week at each parent’s house.
Well my dad worked at Montgomery Wards and opened the store maybe 3 days a week. That meant he had to be there at 5 am.
During his weeks, he’d stuff us in the car in our jammies, and drive us up to “monkey wards” as he called it.
Then we’d all get snug in our own display beds and sleep for another hour and a half.
Once some other employees showed up and it got closer to school hours, he’d get us dressed in the dressing rooms and drive us to school.
He really did love us. And tried hard for us.
9. Definitely bizarre.
Not telling your family when or where you were going or what you were up to or how long you would be gone.
I remember as early as 6 I was wandering off to another neighborhood and across a busy road to find playmates.
As I got older, I would go to friend’s houses for days on end, still never needing to check with anyone or let anyone know at home I was going.
It didn’t really click until I got my first roommate after college who bugged out and was about to call the cops because I went to my boyfriend’s house, turned my phone off and took a long nap in the middle of the day as he worked nights.
We had an argument where I kept saying “I’m an adult, you don’t need to keep track of me” and it took a while for me to understand that even adults check in with each other for safety and they don’t normally just disappear for a few days.
8. Brains can be rude.
Have ‘speed up spells’ where it feels like I just got off a treadmill and my internal monologue is yelling.
Turns out I have epilepsy and was having seizures. Didn’t realize back when I was like 7, but presented with tonic clonics (grand mal) at 15.
Or listen to the air vent and hear music in white noise. This was likely auditory hallucinations, also due to epilepsy.
7. What a life.
Wash my two pairs of pants and two sweaters every few days…because they were the only clothes my parent had bought me for school.
Eating canned button mushrooms for lunch because there was nothing else to eat in the house.
Not for a lack of parental funds.
Didn’t realize other kids didn’t live like this until I hit 13-ish.
6. Normal is relative.
My family are not comfortable around each other. Never any touching, kissing or cuddling.
Any physical contact is forced and horribly awkward. No one also talks and any disagreements simmer for years with a grudging resentment.
When I first starting dating my now husband I was shocked his family would just sit close to each other, like their legs would touch on the couch. Like not overly touchy, just normal, but not normal to me.
They also spoke to each other if they were upset. I was quite envious.
5. Tough lessons.
Trusting everything people say to me.
[…] For some reason I think I was born an idealist or something. I was told as a kid that lying is wrong (because I clearly and intentionally lied once) and that we should always tell the truth.
So i just thought that everyone told the truth and if someone lied, their feelings would be hurt *immediately* as if somehow the person knew right away.
So I’ve always trusted others 100%. I’ve slowly gotten depressed because thinking everyone else is right makes everything i think wrong. And now i’m trying hard to learn to NOT trust others always.
4. Bless her heart.
Having camping nights.
Mom would light candles and make dinner with camping gear. She and I would play games until my bed time huddled up in the living room.
It was because she was crazy poor when she divorced my dad and a few times she couldn’t pay the electricity on time. I thought it was fun.
3. Mother knows best.
My mom HATES lies. She is also very good at telling when someone is lying and everyone knows it.
Most people don’t flat out lie to her or around her (it isn’t worth it)…
This resulted in me growing up with the assumption that the vast majority of people normally tell the truth.
It wasn’t until college that I found out most people don’t consider lying a big deal and do it fairly regularly…
Which I honestly still find really messed up.
2. He had to pass on the knowledge.
I was trained by my father to believe that a proper salami sandwich has 15-20 pieces of salami on it – imagine my Aunt’s horror when I did that at her house, while she was putting 4-5 pieces on the sandwiches she was making for my cousins.
The story lives on til this day, like 30 years later – no regrets.
1. Way to go, Dad.
Apparently when I was a kid I used to pick up quarters on the street.
My parents didn’t want me doing that so my dad told me to not pick up coins, because people put them in their butts.
I didn’t use change for anything until I started driving at 16.
Kids are just the best. Truly.
Did you believe something totally weird as a kid?
Share it with us in the comments!