It’s a fact of life that not everyone is raised the right way with sound morals and they don’t learn good lessons from their parents.
That’s why when those people become moms and dads, they often go out of their way to NOT teach their kids some of the things that were passed on to them by their parents.
Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.
“Clean your plate.
As a registered dietitian I can say that this is hands down the worst thing you can do to your kids eating habits.
It destroys their internal hunger and satiety cues later in life.”
2. Always right.
“Your father is always right.
Even if he is wrong you must still obey him, because he is your father.”
3. Pull yourself up.
“That anxiety and depression are not real health problems.
Spent 26 years with untreated ADHD and struggling in school (and life, if I’m being honest) and spent my entire life thinking I was stupid. Turns out my mother new about it, thought it was fake, and I remained untreated until I was 26.
My psychiatrist was furious when she diagnosed me because she said it was so obvious I have it she doesn’t know why I went so long without treatment. I’m on Adderall 30mg twice a day if that should tell you anything on how bad it is.
First time I took it, it was like a white noise machine I had never noticed before that was sitting in the back of my brain, and had just been turned off. It was so quiet and clarifying.
I finished my first project in over a decade within that week.”
4. Don’t bother.
“My father always said that you should do something perfectly or don’t start at all…
Terrible advice since now I’m a real perfectionist that awaits perfect conditions.
Give it your best but always try would have been way better advice.”
5. Not for everyone.
I have no intention of having kids in the future, no do I have the intention of getting married. My mom always says she hopes I get husband and kids, but its not what I want.
Whenever something happens, like something kid related, she always goes “you’ll understand when you have kids.” “I’m not planning on kids.”
“Thats what I thought before, too”
But honestly, she keeps pushing the idea.”
6. Don’t be a doormat.
“The most important thing I’ll teach my children is to be good, but don’t be nice.
I’ve been a doormat my whole life just because nobody ever taught me the difference between being a decent person and a doormat.
I’m 30+ and I’m still working on this part of my personality. I don’t want my children to go through this, ever.”
7. Let it out, fam!
“Always cry if you need to.
I spent most of my childhood getting yelled at to stop crying and it really f*cks you up. You grow up internalizing negative emotions and even blow them off which of course doesn’t help.
Also to NEVER be scared to approach me with anything you’re concerned about.
I’m 25 but I still have to lie and keep secrets from my dad cause he would BLOW up or shut me up if I vented to him about anything that dealt with relationships, my mental health, or health related matters (tampon usage, birth control, gyno appointments etc).”
8. Money issues.
“To be afraid of money.
I spent so much of my childhood walking on egg shells because of my mom’s constant anxiety over money.
If I ever asked for anything she’d look at me like I was about to put her into financial ruin.”
9. That’s creepy.
“That you have to be hated because of your dad’s surname, that you belong to “dad’s filthy breed”, that you are a slave to the whole family and world because you are a woman.
And that you must pay with the consequence of not being liked by them by suffering and being their own object.”
10. Don’t show weakness.
“They used to tell me that everything I was doing was wrong, and when I’d apologize, they’d yell at me for being “weak”.
Also, I wasn’t allowed to cry. At all. I was taught that crying anywhere just was annoying, and made you a nuisance.
I still am damaged from thinking all my life that if I cried everyone would hate me forever.”
11. The shame game.
“Shaming me for being overweight but failing to teach me good eating habits.
A lot of the females in my family have a TERRIBLE relationship with food and that is exactly how I was brought up. My parents would always comment on my weight whenever I started gaining. It took me 26 years to finally have a healthy relationship with food.
I basically had to educate myself.”
12. Hiding it.
“You can like what you like and not feel embarrassed by it.
To this day I still feel like i’m doing something wrong for liking certain things. I’m not hurting anyone or myself. My whole family would never look at me the same way again if they knew what I really liked.
I never want my kids to have that level of fear around me for just enjoying what they enjoy.”
13. What will people say?
“The “what will people say” when you make x decision.
This has prevented me from doing a lot of things in life for myself. If you have Asian parents you will understand this is a big deal because they want their kids to look good to others in the community.
So a lot of our decision making even as adults come at the expense of what will some random person think of me if I do this.”
14. Politics as usual.
“My dad is a pretty great guy, but he always taught us to only vote Conservative.
That certainly wasn’t a great way to foster much meaningful thought about politics.”
15. Stand up for yourself.
“To ignore someone who’s being mean to you.
Or turn the other cheek as they put it. I wish I had learned to stick up for myself. My husband was taught the opposite. It’s ok to hit someone if they threw the first punch.
I would like to teach my children somewhere in between that!”
16. Never grow up.
“That growing up was something to fear and dread.
There was a lot of “Enjoy your chocolate now because when you’re an adult you can’t eat it” “Enjoy watching TV now because when you’re an adult you have to clean all the time, do you ever see me relaxing?”
“I wish I was back at school with my friends all day instead of working a job I hate, you just wait, you will hate your job too” “When you become an adult there’s no nice clothes, just work clothes and home clothes” “Adults don’t have hobbies, so enjoy it while you can”.
Now as an adult I see that these were all choices. I can eat whatever I like. I do not have to clean all day, I do not live in a showhome. I have had jobs that I didn’t like, I made the choice to job hunt and find something else.
I can choose to buy clothes I like and wear th to work and at home. It’s my choice to persue my interests or not.
I’m often in awe if how easy adulthood is, not because it is, but because it was always presented to me as this mountain of misery and I’ve chosen to eat the chocolate and play my cello instead.”
Do you have any stories like this about the way you were raised?
If so, please share them with us in the comments.
We look forward to hearing from you!