We’re supposed to be able to talk about our deepest fears, the secrets we can’t tell anyone else, and be able to get help for the struggles that are impeding our lives when we visit a therapist.
It’s sad to think that there are many people who have gotten the opposite of help in that setting, but these folks have definitely heard some pretty horrible things from the mouths of people who were supposed to help.
1. I have secondhand anger.
I was having panic attacks daily and the med he gave me made my anxiety worse. Turned out I just have bad reactions to SSRIs and that was all he kept trying like a moron.
Anyway I’m in his office and he seems to be taking it personally that all the SSRIs he has put me on are giving me seriously bad side effects.
“Have you just given up then?” the f*cker asks. “Do you just want to be like this the rest of your life?”
Obviously f*cking not that is why I’m in this office trying new medications. I was so angry and yet also having a panic attack at the same time. I ended up just walking out and finding a new psychiatrist later.
That there was no point in continuing therapy because I was ‘emotionally devoid’ and was wasting her time.
It was a licensed therapist that I was referred to by my doctor after an emotional breakdown (ironic much?).
Her comment came on our third appointment, we had never ‘clicked’ and she had made judgemental comments about my parenting choices in the first session so there wasn’t any trust there.
I’ve since found a new therapist who was amazing and now, five years on I have left a toxic marriage, dropped two of the three meds I was taking and am loving a genuinely happy life. While her comment initially stalled me and left me feeling that there was no hope, I’m now genuinely happy and loving life
I’m also halfway through studies to be a counsellor myself.
3. How about neither?
“You need to find religion and also buy this self help book series that I wrote.”
4. Just drink like everyone else.
I use my creativity with art and craft as both a coping skill and as something that gives me extra purpose in life.
A psychologist told me that doing so is maladaptive.
I didn’t go back.
5. That’s not a joke.
For this it’s important to know that I live in Germany.
I saw a psychologist once who treats and diagnoses adults with Asperger’s. I was there for my second diagnostic interview, and my mother was with me to be interviewed as well. She told the doctor about my sensory issues, especially with noise, because I would occasionally scream and punch walls and throw stuff around if I was too overloaded with a sound. The psychologist just said something along the lines of “Well, 100 years ago people like this would have been treated rather differently around here, eh?” and laughed in our faces.
Even if he wasn’t talking about the National Socialist euthanasia, which took place not quite 100 years ago, I still felt incredibly disgusted and angry. The entire interview with him was a disaster, but this was clearly the worst thing he did.
6. Not her problem.
Ok, this is actually my mums story but it’s relevant. 1980’s in the UK. My mum is pregnant with me and my dad is, well, not a good person. My dad called my mum when she was out asking her to come home. Mum thought he sounded odd so asked a friend to come with her.
Daddy dearest is drunk which has brought out all of his angry, violent tendencies and he fires a gun that god knows where he got it at my mum. Missed, thankfully. Police are called, a standoff happens and it’s hours before he’s finally taken down.
The psychiatrist who treats him after tells my mum who was bracing herself for a good old fashioned divorce not to leave him as he wouldn’t cope.
F*ck. That. Noise.
Unfortunately, they did succeed in guilting mum into staying but she got out a few years later and gave me the best childhood. She passed a few years ago now but damn she was awesome.
7. Lucky you?
Had a therapist tell me that my soul, long before I was born, chose my parents and subsequent childhood a**se so that I could learn from it.
By this logic, of course, the a**sed person is always in control and the a**ser is helpless.
Argue with that logic.
Needless to say I never saw her again.
8. To. A. Child.
“You’ll never do an important job like doctor, veterinarian, firefighter, lawyer, counselor…You’ll probably end up in a Walmart for your whole life.”
I was 8 years old and still remember how mad my parents were lol.
9. No excuses.
The whole, “trauma makes you stronger, trauma teaches you something, there’s a silver lining to your trauma,” schtick makes my skin crawl. People only say that when:
They’ve never experienced serious trauma or a**se themselves,
They are trying desperately to find a reason or why that doesn’t lay blame on themselves or their a**ser. It’s nobody’s fault if it was destined by God, right?
I always tell people (and myself), “Children shouldn’t have to be strong, children shouldn’t have to be resilient, children should just be safe.
Trauma is just trauma, not a f*cking learning experience.”
10. Beyond not ok.
“You’re taking up someone else’s space, and they’re probably dealing with worse” veterans mental health recovery program when I was suicidal and reaching out✌️
I’m a F vet in Australia, so negative to those asking if this was through the American VA system. Though, I’m sorry to hear that the resources are just as turbulent overseas.
Veteran mental health is a complicated area, and not every vet went to war, or served overseas. It creates an internal hierarchy in the way we think about ‘who has it worse’ and how we view the way we fit into the structure of Defence.
I hope those of you who had similar experiences were able to find the support that you needed, and if you haven’t yet – please DM me – though may take me a while to respond.
And for the friends and family of vets who have been supporting and suffering with them; what you go through is also valid. You signed up with them and it’s a pain that can be hard for others to understand. That doesn’t mean it matters any more or less.
11. So much cringe.
Had to go to the hospital because I had cut myself about 4 years ago, I sat in the room where there are multiple different people and cases going on so there wasn’t any walls in between patients. And what does the head nurse do?
“We got a cutter! We got a cutter!” To the whole damn room, you could see how uncomfortable the other nurses were and even some police men looking after someone else looked upset she decided to yell it to everyone. Made me feel like complete garbage on top of how I already felt at the time.
12. Not the best parenting.
tl;dr: cheap parents ‘hired’ a therapist they knew would give them info, i got suspicious and confirmation after i told a ridiculous lie and my parents sat me down to talk about it when i had never told them anything. since it was a lie. it took YEARS to trust any adult after that. (of which i still struggle with as a 34 yo)
in high school i was pretty difficult because of some real intense s**t happening in my life. i wasnt on drugs or violent or flunking out. HOWEVER, i had a super rough family home life as well as some s**ual assault stuff and i withdrew because of it. my parents were very “sunday christian” meaning while at church theyre the best christians but the teachings did NOT make it home. (they still dont understand why only 1 of their 6 kids talk to them etc etc kinda thing).
anyway they gave us NO Privacy ever, always in our phones, our bags, our rooms, just in every aspect of our life if it offered them control and i knew it would be no different when they “found me a counselor and you know her”. guys, they sent me to therapy with the PASTOR’S WIFE. it became super clear she was telling them things immediately but i held out hope until i couldn’t anymore, because i didnt have proof really.
i ended up telling her i got in a fender bender but there was no damage so it was all good. well, she told my parents right when i left i guess because when i showed up home my dad demanded to see my bumpers.
they wont admit what happened to this day, but they never made me go again. so there’s that, at least. also i guess this turned out mostly about my parents but f**k them and that ‘counselor’ too.
13. That woman should lose her license.
When I was about 8 or 9 years old I went to see a counselor who was supposed help me deal with being repeatedly molested when I was younger. The b**ch kept asking me “But didn’t it feel good? It felt good right? Just admit it felt good.” etc. until I was a sobbing mess. When i told my mom she refused to take me back, thankfully.
To answer a couple of questions:
I am female and the therapist was also female, which made it all the more difficult to deal with, coming from a woman.
It was over 30 years ago and yes, I did eventually find a great therapist who helped me deal with things.
I am in a wonderful place in my life now with an amazing husband who is always there for me, no matter what and is a great comfort on my occasional bad days. Never pushing and always willing to listen. He is a truly beautiful and kind soul <3
I know I am one of the lucky ones among survivors of assault, being able to trust again, and am thankful there are so many kind people like all of you. Lots of love to you all 🙂 <3
14. A grown-up bully.
At that time, I moved from Berdsk (a small city in the region) to Novosibirsk. In the new school, preventive conversations were held with a psychologist, all the children told about their dreams, hobbies and shared their views on life. I said that I love rock and would like to spend my youth traveling or working.
Apparently, the psychologist was not impressed. In front of the whole class, she said: “Are you from Berdsk? That explains why you’re so weird. Everything in your city is not of this world (interpretation of an offensive phrase in Russian, hinting that you are crazy).”
15. Best to just let that one go.
I was dealing with a lot of family issues at the time and my ex had just broken up with me that week so I was taking it fairly hard.
My therapist said “it’s because they found someone better” and when I said no and tried to explain she just dug in deeper that my ex had dumped me because they found someone better than me.
16. That doesn’t seem right.
I had a psychiatrist who was convinced I was anorexic even though I wasn’t.
It really sucked because my therapist and my psychiatrist worked at the same company and they had a policy where they don’t help people with eating disorders.
So even though I went to a specialist and they confirmed I didn’t have an eating disorder I was still banned from that facility and lost my long term therapist.
17. No one could blame him.
Not me but my late Father and I am still p**sed off. My brother, his only son, had a nervous breakdown after our Mother d**d. He was good, through and through. It was like losing two people at once. My Father believed sadly, that my brother would find his way home but he never lived to see him again. We know he’s alive out there.
Now, I worked in a funeral home that assisted the coroner’s office. If someone passes away, they can take the fingerprints to identify them. Bottom line is, there are many ways that they can identify a deceased person.
My Father was a trucker, blue collar kinda guy. When he lost his leg, he lost his ability to work and he h**ed it. I am convinced he would have preferred to d** in his truck. A provider. But, he was a good father and loved his children.
The therapist asked why he was depressed and he said he misses his son. She said, “you know there’s a good chance he’s been d**d for a while. Yet you’ve continued to live.” He was quiet when we got into the car and I knew something was wrong. Finally he told me.
I called the therapist and asked her where the f*ck she got off putting that idea in his head. The man had lost enough. He refused further counseling. Who could blame him.
18. That’s definitely awkward.
Nothing..she fell asleep in her chair while writing notes….I was talking about the d**th of my parents.
I was 16. Never went to another therapist.
19. Good instincts, kid.
That my dad was in hell after committing suicide. I was 12. I ran out of there faster than anything.
20. Not really funny.
My therapist would literally order a meal and eat it right in front of me while literally saying nothing.
She did that for the entire year I wasted with her, just watching this lady eat her food while saying nothing, only to then give me snarky and 2 word replies.
I want my year back lol.
21. They trusted him.
My uncle is a minister.
He announced at an 18 yr. old kid’s funeral (he committed suicide after struggling for years with profound depression, but was dissuaded from seeing a psych or taking meds because they were “from the devil” and only given “prayer counseling”) and announced what a shame it was that the kid was burning in hell.
In front of the whole damn family.
My mom saw a shrink the year my brother almost d**d from a lung infection, she had had a miscarriage, and her husband lost his leg in an accident (all within about 4 months’ time).
The shrink asked, “Have you considered that maybe God h**es you?”
23. That’s not how this works.
Go back to work, you’ll be fine, you don’t need different meds.
3 times being sent home and psych ward visit later.
24. You can’t come back from that.
14, telling my shrink about how I was bullied in school.
“Do they make fun of your nose?”
And thats how I found out I have a big nose.
25. Not the greatest start.
A couple of years ago, my partner was trying to find a therapist. In the first few appointments, this woman told her that if she didn’t start doing certain things, I’d “burn out” and leave her.
I’d never spoken to this woman in my life and she knew nothing about me.
My girlfriend never went back (after she struggled for a few weeks thinking it might be true before telling me what she said).
26. You never want to stun a therapist into silence.
“Well, you have a lot going there…” followed by an awkward silence and nothing helpful.
It was my first time ever opening up on that level.
I’m appalled, y’all, and it’s hard to appall me these days.
If you’ve been stunned by a therapist, share the story of what happened in the comments.