Moms deserve a freaking gold medal. Most of the time, they’re juggling what amounts to several full-time jobs at once — parenting, their actual full-time job, household administrator and the list goes on and on.
They’re also incredibly hilarious, as evidenced by these 31 tweets that explain exactly why moms everywhere are the best.
1. They always know just how to embarrass their kids.
Tween daughter: God, Mom, quit embarrassing me!
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 6, 2019
2. It’s called being a grandparent, honey.
Look it up.
I feel like I’d be a much better parent if I didn’t have to do it every day.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 25, 2019
3. They have to bite their tongues on a daily basis.
Kids say the darndest things, don’t they?
10: Mom what's a metaphor?
Me: My life is a train wreck.
10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
— ?Sardonic Tart? (@SardonicTart) December 12, 2014
4. They can handle just about any situation.
No matter how embarrassing.
In case you were wondering, the loudest sound in the world is my kid screaming, "Are you pooping?!?" in a public restroom.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 19, 2016
5. They know how to make the best of a situation.
Alone time? Yes, please.
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) February 1, 2014
6. And they can make seriously funny jokes.
Someone trade seats with this woman!
Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is yours.
— Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) February 12, 2014
7. They really know how to motivate their children.
It’s a very special skill set.
*Mary Poppins voice*
Ok, children! Time to go!
[15 min later]
I said let's go.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 5, 2015
8. They show up to support their children no matter what.
Even through spring recorder concerts.
I understand everyone is upset about everything they’re missing out on while stay at home orders are in place, but we should really focus on the good we’re doing by keeping everything closed: there’s no elementary school spring recorder concerts to attend.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 8, 2020
9. And they always practice self-care.
What? You don’t consider Xanax self-care?
What are you eating?
— Marlantined (@Marlebean) September 16, 2014
10. They are the queens of patience.
Especially at bedtime. Every. Single. Night.
Never, & I mean NEVER make eye contact with a child on the verge of falling asleep.They will sense your excitement & abort mission! #momlife
— ????????????????????.??? (@CaffeineandF) November 14, 2015
11. They tell it like it is.
No sugar-coating here!
9: [Whispers] Why do we have to keep sitting & standing and sitting & standing…
Me: [Whispers] So we don't fall asleep
— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) September 14, 2014
12. And sometimes they take creative … liberties.
Fruit casserole, ha. We’re going to have to remember that one!
Son: Are you eating pie for breakfast?
Me (eating pie): No. Fruit casserole. Want some?
Son: NO. I hate casserole.
Me (whispers): I know…
— Foxy Wine Pocket (@FoxyWinePocket) November 28, 2014
13. They always have super healthy coping mechanisms.
Bread, pasta, cereal, cinnamon rolls …
My kids are the reason I breathe; they’re also the reason I swear, cry, yell, and eat waaay more carbs than I probably should.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 23, 2019
14. They know that in order to relax they have to get in the zone first.
Well, everyone knows you can’t relax in a dirty house.
If you’re a mom and not rage cleaning your house so you can “relax” tomorrow, is it even the Saturday before Mother’s Day?
— ?Marissa ✋?? (@michimama75) May 9, 2020
15. They know how to play pranks on their husbands.
These “stickers” are great.
3yo (in bathroom): Mummy, can I put this sticker on Daddy's card?
Me (in bed): Yes.
3yo: Will he love it?
Me: Yes. pic.twitter.com/TJepUORQwH
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) June 21, 2015
16. Again, they just make really, really funny jokes.
This one will crack you up.
Like, what happens if I slip and have a glass of wine or two during this 9-month sobriety challenge?
Obstetrician: First of all, it's called "pregnancy."
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) August 2, 2019
17. They understand the value of a good night’s sleep.
Raise your hand if you’ve done this before.
I had to cough but my kids were sleeping so I literally just choked on my own saliva because apparently I choose dying over accidentally waking them up.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 10, 2019
18. They’re always there to give Dad a little leg up, too.
Better get out the macaroni noodles, too.
Gentlemen, Heads Up: Your kids aren’t coming home from school with that cute handmade Mother’s Day gift this year. That’s on you. Get out the glue.
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) May 2, 2020
19. They understand the value of a good education.
Even during times of crisis.
Our homeschool dismissal bell sounds less like a ding and more like me crying.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 7, 2020
20. They teach their children valuable life lessons.
Like very appropriate important song lyrics.
My son just sang, “Boat’s n’ Hoe’s” to his elderly choir teacher on zoom so I think that about wraps up homeschool for today.
— Maryfairyboberry (@MaryJustice86) May 6, 2020
21. They never, ever raise their voices.
I love to open my windows to let in the beautiful weather and so my neighbors can learn my kids' middle names.
— Marlantined (@Marlebean) May 6, 2020
22. They don’t mind sharing.
The kids are using up all of my mimosa juice. I hate it here.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) March 30, 2020
23. Regrets, they’ve got a few.
But those sweet little smiles make it all worth it in the end.
Me: I wish I could go back to a less stressful time
Husband: Like February?
Me: More like 8 years ago
7: Hey then you wouldn’t have any kids!!
Me: ᴵᵗ ʷᵃˢ ˢᵒ ᵖᵉᵃᶜᵉᶠᵘˡ
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 7, 2020
24. They know how to delegate.
Sometimes the message just doesn’t quite get through. however.
What I say to my son: "Get dressed."
His interpretation: "Stand around naked watching television with one sock on."
— Sarah del Rio (@sarahdelri0) February 3, 2015
25. They’re not afraid to give their kids a little taste of their own medicine.
Just try not to laugh reading this one.
5: Let’s play house, mommy. You be the baby. I’ll be the mommy.
5: It’s night-night time. Go to sleep, baby!
Me: *Kicks, screams, fusses*
5: This isn’t how the game goes, mommy. I’m the mommy, so you have to listen.
Me: Oh, honey, this is *exactly* how the game goes.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) January 2, 2019
26. They know how to stretch the household budget.
No gym? No problem.
Hearing a toddler say “uh oh” from a different room: cheaper than joining a gym and just as effective a workout
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 1, 2019
27. They’re always collecting little bits of wisdom.
And sharing them, too.
My 5-year-old just told me that turtles are slow because they carry their houses on their backs, and I feel like this is a solid analogy for parenthood.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) February 27, 2019
28. They’re able to pivot quickly.
Especially at dinnertime.
Me: Hey kid what do you want for dinner?
8: Do you have cheese?
8: Do you have ham?
8: Do you have bread and mayo?
8: I want spaghetti
— snorri (@lastunicori) February 9, 2019
29. They don’t make a lot of demands.
No. 1 would be nice for a change.
What a parent’s bucket list looks like:
3. Drink hot coffee
2. Shower without kids banging on the door
1. Pee alone
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 9, 2019
30. They make really good friends.
They always bring the best snacks.
Parenting Level: Approving my kids' friends based on which parents I think would drink wine with me during playdates.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) May 7, 2015
31. They’re creating little mini-me’s.
Sometimes it’s like looking in a mirror.
Kids are just sober versions of drunk you – laughing, crying, then puking everywhere.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) August 13, 2015
Moms make the best comedians, seriously. And now that you’re sitting there, appreciating your own mom, go ahead and give her a call. Tell her you love her. Go on, do it.
What’s the best thing about your mom? Does she have a great sense of humor?
Let us know in the comments!