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Some of the best videos on the internet are the ones that totally invade people’s privacy and post shots of them being completely silly as they wake up all groggy after surgery.
These people are owning those experiences and sharing them by their own choice – and I can’t decide if it’s making me more or less excited for the next time I end up under the knife.
1. A rebellious sip.
In 2019 I was in the hospital with diverticulitis and I wasn’t supposed to consume anything, not even water.
But I had a sip.
2. A mysterious dude.
I’m a non religious person but something I can’t explain happened similar to this.
I was in the hospital for what I thought was a heart attack or complications from triple bypass surgery I had the month before (I was 33, long story.) I went to one hospital and kindly asked to be transferred back to the hospital that did my heart surgery. They obliged and I was transferred around 2am.
They got me a room and I was all set up to sleep by 3:30am. This dude came in my room and asked me my favorite type of music. He was a younger guy wearing scrubs who I thought was just another nurse doing his rounds. Turns out, he and I had the same tastes in music and his favorite band was also my favorite band. He had a wrists tattoo with a symbol from the bands 4th album that I thought was pretty cool. We chatted for 30 mins or so and then he said he had to be going. He wrote on the info white board on the wall my favorite band and then said his goodbyes. On his way out he told me, “everything looks good so far and you’ll be fine after this.” For some reason that brought me some comfort since I hadn’t seen the doctor yet and I was having high anxiety, being less than a full month after my open heart surgery.
They let me leave the next day. I asked my morning nurse what that guys name was so I could do some detective work on social media and thank him for telling me exactly what I needed to hear at the time. She told me that the only people I saw were the doctor, my night nurse, and her… my morning nurse. No one else had been in my room. So I asked her who wrote my favorite bands name on the board and she had no answer for that… also, all I had for meds was a tylonol for a headache (didn’t eat for like 14 hours) and lorazepam to chill me out.
I still wonder who the dude was.
3. She didn’t learn.
I had to stay overnight in the hospital after having double jaw surgery. My mouth was wired shut, and I was still pretty foggy even hours after waking up, so not really great at communicating. A nurse came in to give me steroids, but instead of slowly administering them, she shot them full force through the IV in my hand.
I got IMMEDIATELY super nauseated and felt like I was going to vomit – but I couldn’t figure out how to communicate that to the nurse, or my mom, who watched in horror as I shot up to a sitting position and started profusely leaking blood out of my mouth. It was like a scene out of a horror movie according to her. I must have swallowed a good amount of blood during the surgery by the looks of it.
Then, later that night, the same nurse Lightning McQueen’d even more steroids and (surprise!) I did it AGAIN. This time they at least had to sense to give me an emesis bucket.
The nurse came in even later to let me know it was the end of her shift and said “good luck, feel better soon, and stop throwing up!” As if it was my fault!! To be fair, though, I probably scared the shit out of her. No retching or other telltale vomit signs, just… sitting up and suddenly pouring blood from my mouth.
4. Contraband.
Snuck in diet soda and instant coffee powder which was contraband in the eating disorder unit.
Wild times, wild times.
5. Sounds like a grand time.
Punched my uncle, peed on nurses, cussed out my dad. Traumatic brain injuries are nuts.
6. This is a nightmare tale.
Had a Polionidal cyst removed when I was in AIT in the Army. They drugged me up and gave me an epidural and sent me back. They left the wound open so it could heal.
My chain if command refused to send me home for convalescent leave, so I stayed in the barracks with the other soldiers with a huge hole in my tailbone. I laid in bed for three days with no assistance and every time I stood up I would projectile vomit unless I hunched over and dug my palms into my eyes.
After a full day of this and no one offering to take me to the hospital, I called a cab. Told my drill sergeants to get f**ked and got in. Threw up all in the cab and made it to the floor I had surgery on.
When I got there and tried to speak I threw up again. Explained what happened and the hospital went on alert. They put me in a room and dosed me up.
It turns out that the epidural was botched and my brain fluid was leaking through my spine, causing my brain to touch my skull because it couldn’t float in the liquid.
My back is still f**ked to this day, and the VA says it isnt service connected. F**k you VA I still get credit for my fucking TBI and everything else. You f**kers are gonna pay me for the rest of my life.
7. I hope the brother is the forgiving type.
I pooped on my brother after my tbi. I also looked at my friends with very sad eyes to try and get them to unlock the cuffs used to chain my arms to the bed so I wouldn’t pull on tubes.
8. Covert pastries.
I wasn’t a patient. My mom was. She had just had a tumor removed from her brain. My sister and I were staying over with her in the hospital that week. They had a 24-hr Au Bon Pain bakery inside the hospital!!!! And they had this crazy twisted puff pastry stick filled with pastry cream and raisins and covered with a crystallized cinnamon sugar. (I still dream of them 10 years later).
So I had “the night shift” while my sister slept so I crept down there in my PJ’s , bought a box of them and ate them while they both slept. And then we bought more when she woke up. She has never found out to this day. It was all very covert.
9. Super awkward.
Was in the hospital with a TBI for a week once… was so high on painkillers I kept asking my mom why “all these people (the nurses) were in our kitchen” and kept telling them to get out. Like..repeatedly. Made it super awkward.
Also mentioned in front of my mother how I thought I was there to have a baby. That one got weird.
10. That’s a whole moment.
Did a poo in the ward shower.
For context, I’d given birth two days prior but had to get an episiotomy during delivery. I was explicitly told not to strain while pooping. Felt the urge to go and the toilet did nothing for me so I just squatted in the shower until poop appeared.
I then got some bog roll to pick it up, flushed it away down the loo and cleaned the whole area with water.
Felt simultaneously awful yet ecstatic.
11. It made sense.
As a student I was prepping a young woman, who was having breast reduction surgery. It was just the patient, the nurse anesthetist (N.A.) and me in the room. All of sudden the young woman sat up on the table, opened her gown up, exposing her rather large breasts right in front of me and said “You can see why I need this breast reduction?”. I tried to remain professional and told her it made sense, as she was suffering a lot of backpain.
Shortly after the N.A. had knocked the patient out, the N.A. started laughing, as she came over to me saying “When she exposed herself, your face got so damn red, I thought it was going to explode!”
The surgeon removed roughly 1 lbs. per breast.
12. Grumpy cat on drugs.
I woke up post op and was full of rage but so groggy from the anesthesia that I couldn’t move. For two hours I lay in recovery, fuming. Everything made me angry.
There was a little girl in the bed opposite me, crying after her surgery and I hated her. I hated her so much, I used all the energy I had to flip her the bird. A nurse came over and sat with me for a bit, just talking and holding my hand. I couldn’t move or speak to him but he made me angry as well. After a bit he let go of my hand and I immediately flipped him off too. He just grabbed my hand again and held it until I eventually fell asleep.
When I woke up one of the nurses told me I looked like grumpy cat on drugs, I’d spent the whole time in recovery glaring and growling at anybody who came near me(I don’t remember the growing bit) and that I’d flipped off quite a few people(only remember the little girl and the nurse).
13. Life is short.
I was in the hospital for a few weeks in early 2020, quarantined with an elderly woman from Germany.
The hospital would only give us each 1 sugar and 1 salt packet with our meals. I didn’t drink the coffee but she did, so I didn’t need my sugar. She didn’t use her salt packets, but I used salt to make the food more bearable.
There was a language barrier, but we were able to set up a trading system. We had no concern for the “rules”. She was given different food because she was a senior. We would draw back the curtain and show each other which snacks we had, and we’d trade. My husband would sneak in cookies for her and fancy cappuccinos.
We spent Valentine’s Day in that hospital room and my husband bought little fake tea light candles and stuffed animals and flowers and chocolates and decorated her side of the room while she was sleeping and she was so surprised when she woke up.
Maybe we weren’t supposed to be giving her chocolate, sweets or trading sugar packets. But life is short, the hospital is miserable, we were both afraid, but made the most out of it.
I hope she made it.
14. A valid question.
Only had one surgery but I was really concerned about voldemort’s health and wondering if nosebleeds were a problem for him (I had my nose cauterized)
15. She didn’t have time for that nonsense.
In a hazed state after waking up from surgery told the nurse that I loved her, and thanks for taking care of me.
I think she turned up the gas after that one!
16. Possibly an angel.
I had a bad blood infection and all matter of drugs were pumped into my system. The most beautiful silver-haired nurse would come to check up on me throughout the night and talk to me.
Turned out there was no silver haired nurse and I was just hallucinating. Some people have told me it was an Angel but I’m not a religious person so I really don’t know.
17. A really fun game.
I was coming out of anesthesia after septum surgery, and they must have given me some primo stuff, because I was so out of it when I woke up.
When my fiancee came in to get the post-op care info from the surgeon, I was telling her about how I was playing “beep beep beep game”.
When she asked what beep beep beep game was, I stopped breathing until my O2 sats dropped low enough to set off the alarm.
I told her how I would play beep beep beep game until a nurse would come in and tell me I needed to keep breathing.
18. That sounds dangerous.
I remember peering out the window of the hospital in the middle of the night after my C-section wondering why there were guys playing soccer in the parking lot since it was winter, and 3am.
They weren’t people, they were light posts. Morphine is a hell of a drug.
19. Open-mouth gawking.
I have the perfect story for this.
So, at 20 I had a pretty big drug and drink problem. This meant being in hospital a few times a month for my behaviour, overdose, or people worrying about my using.
One night I was bought in, and I got a nurse assigned to me that consistently had issues with me. To be fair, I was high and in the wrong almost every time we did have issues, but her attitude didn’t help.
On this night I heard the normal speech from her, about how I was a pretty young girl who was better than this lifestyle, and while she was giving this speech she was trying to take my blood. She must have stabbed that needle in 5+ times at great pain before I took the needle from her hand, and inserted it myself on the first try. She was open mouth gawking at me, while I was handing the drip to connect it.
The next day when I was sober, one of the other nurses said the story had gone around the hospital overnight, and it made the top ten strangest things to happen that month.
Six years later, I’m three years clean and sober with a job in healthcare, using my vein finding skills for good use.
20. As one does.
Not my story, but one of the patients I’ve worked with. He was an old man with severe dementia. One day he ended up missing. They couldn’t find him anywhere.
It was the middle of winter so of course we were worried the old man would freeze to death. After 2 hours he walks into the ward completely soaked and muddy with a huge grin on his face.
When we asked him where he was, he simply responded with: “I went sleigh riding.”
21. The saddest story of all.
I had my 1st open heart surgery when I was about 10 hours old.
And I’m currently on day 228 since I was admitted into the hospital. I’m waiting for a heart/bilateral lung transplant. I’m the 1st heart/bilateral lung transplant patient that’s been listed in Illinois with a hospital in Illinois in about 13 years. And I’m the very 1st heart/bilateral lung transplant patient with Northwestern & Childrens in Chicago. And children’s in Chicago is where Ive had all my open heart surgeries and was seen till I was about 22 years old.
I’ve been sick my entire life. I’ve had over 20 surgeries, but this is by far the hardest thing I’ve lived through medically.
In April I was a part of a news story (did the interview from my hospital bed)in Chicago about transplant during a pandemic and a few weeks ago we found out that that News story is nominated for an Emmy.
About 2 months ago we found out my Mom had Covid. Tomorrow will be a month since she died. And because of my health state, I can’t leave the hospital… so I had to watch my moms funeral over zoom that my brother in law set up.
22. An absolute mutiny.
Back in the days before cable, my husband made me bring in a VCR and hooked it up to the in-room tv so he could watch movies.
The hospital administrators put up a big stink, but couldn’t point to any reason why this wasn’t allowed, so they let him keep it.
Several other patients followed suit.
23. A long and weird story.
I had given birth to my third child. Post birth, the nurse intermittently checked on me, pressed my abdomen to check bleeding. I wasn’t feeling great, but the birth was uncomplicated and I’m a tough cookie, so I agreed that my husband should go get the other kids to meet their new brother. We lived less than a mile from the hospital.
While he was gone, the nurse expressed concern. Husband came back with the kids and right after the first family pic, I started throwing up.
The pic came out great. But my face is white as a sheet.
Nurse came back in, saw my face, told my husband to take the kids to the cafeteria. She pressed on my abdomen and the blood shot out my vagina, splattered my socked feet, and hit the wall beyond my bed.
I was rushed into emergency surgery. I had an epidural, so anesthesia only gave me a little drug to knock me out.
Here’s the weirdest thing: I woke up during surgery. I heard the doc say, “OMG! I can’t find the source of this intense bleeding! Get blood. OH. Here it is. I must’ve cut her. Patient is alert.”
And I was knocked out again.
Next day, doc came to see me. He told me he had to stitch my cervix. I told him I heard he said he must’ve cut me. He denied. Then I realized he was worried about malpractice. So I said, “Doc, I’m not going to sue you. But it’s just that I want one more kid after this. Will I be able to?” And he sighed relief and assured me Yes.
Long story, but it is kinda weird.
24. Bad everything.
I full fist punched a nurse trying to sedate me.
Bad night, bad week, bad everything. Out of nowhere I just downed a bottle of depressants while chatting with my friend. No idea why besides “man I don’t wanna wake up tomorrow”. They depress your breathing with only a few, so with maybe 70, you get the picture.
I overdosed, obviously. And proceeded to black out. Then I guess I passed out.
I woke up to paramedics, blacked out again, woke up in a grey room with a man trying to stab something into me. I felt sick and confused and scared, I didn’t know what was going on. Soooo I nailed the dude in the face.
I woke up again strapped to the bed.
After a few hours some of the drugs were out of my system and I apologized profusely. Still feel so bad about it.
25. That’s really something.
My best friend spent a week in the hospital because her water broke + was having contractions 1.5 months before her due date. While she was there her husband brought his WHOLE pc setup so he could play games while he was there with her, I’m talking fancy keyboard, headset and all the other s*%t.
He’d be playing his games when the nurses or dr would come in and ask her questions, he’d be talking + yelling at whoever he was playing while me and her family visited. He’s most likely the reason she had their baby preterm bc of all of the stress he caused.
He didn’t have a job and didn’t seem to care if he did or not. To this day I cannot believe what I witnessed and don’t understand how she could still be with him. I understand being at the hospital forever sucks but like wtf?!?!
26. A glorious time.
Not me but my 4 year-old son. He had to stay overnight for reasons I’ve forgotten. Somehow it didn’t make it to his chart that he was ADHD and was on Ritalin. I leave and they don’t medicate him. He was mobile, wired and unsupervised. Yee haw!
I found out the next morning that they lost him and panicked. He’d made it up several floors flushed his pajama top down the toilet for reasons. He then managed to find a very senile old man and climbed in bed with him. When they finally found him he was watching the guy’s tv and eating his ice cream.
They called me to come and get him early. The staff looked like they had seen some s*%t. Patrick, however, had had a glorious time. He never would tell me why he flushed his pjs, though.
27. Lost his marbles.
“Two things, same visit…
Long story short, I’d lost my marbles. I had no idea who I was, or what was going on. Knew I was in a hospital, that was it. The nurses needed me to lift my legs for something. Don’t remember what.
So, in my insane state, I followed their instructions to the letter – I lifted my legs and had them all the way back behind my head. Displaying my naked bottom to the whole ER. I am a male and not flexible. My wife is wondering where that flexibility came from. I couldn’t do it again if I tried with help.
The second was that I had a catheter in. But I was insane. I needed to go to the bathroom, or so I thought. I kept trying to get up to go. Normally that set off the weight alarm and a nurse came in. But one time she didn’t. And I got the catheter all tangled up. Talk about tugging on the wrong places! I couldn’t move, couldn’t call for help, couldn’t get untangled. Thankfully the nurse finally came in or I might have seriously hurt myself.
28. Help with math.
I went to the ER for breathing treatments. They wanted to admit me because I had pneumonia. I had an exam the next morning so argued about being admitted.
Dr emailed my professor. Was admitted and there fir a little more than a week. I was doing all my assignments while there. I absolutely suck at math. So buzzed the nurse and asked for homework help.
She was stumped. She got a neuro surgeon to come help me.
29. A terrible nightmare.
Woke up after major surgery on a shoulder, and lay in bed while listening to the person I shared the room with having a nigthmare rigth of a truly horrid dimensjon.
Poor soul screamed and wailed like someone was murdering them slowly with a rusty & jagged knife
30. Like a horror movie.
Tore out my IV and a pic line in my neck. The Dr.s and nurses got to me just as I was going for the drain tube coming out of my head, after brain surgery.
Blood was spraying around the room from the hole where the pic line was, and I was fighting them, calling them every name in the book. They ended up strapping me to the bed for my own safety.
Turns out, I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia they used.
31. A full-body flush.
I was so scared of an operation that I flushed extremely. My body was red everywhere. Because of this my body temperature went up and was above the allowed temperature to operate. My surgeon was very concerned and was thinking about not operating me.
At the end I told him that it was because of my anxiety and my arm was already numbed anyway. I was glad when that operation was over.
32. So sorry.
Had a bug out reaction to anesthesia, came to being restrained screaming they gave me covid during surgery….
Sorry bout that
33. They made him wait.
Had my appendix out in 6th grade. Parents weren’t with me at one point in the hospital. I had to go to the bathroom….bad! Hit the nurse button. Told her I had to go really bad. Said she would be there soon. 15 minutes go by and I’m about to s*%t my pants.
Called her again…still not showing up. Finally decided to get up myself and unplug the IV machine and all that. Get halfway to the bathroom and couldn’t hold it anymore. Completely filled my whitey tighties with some terrible diarrhea.
Waddle my way to the bathroom like “what the hell am I supposed to do now?” Still no sign of the nurse and I was too embarrassed to admit what happened. Ended up throwing my very soiled underwear in the bathroom trashcan and got myself cleaned up. Eventually got back to bed and called my mom to bring me new underwear.
I seriously feel bad for whoever had to take out that trash. But I never did have to tell anyone what happened.
34. Each and every day.
I was in hospital for 30 days and had 30 Long Chili Cheese Burgers from BK. On the first day while still dizzy from surgery (home accident, cut my leg badly, 100+ stitches) some visiting friend brought me one.
I must have told my parents, my back-then GF and everybody else how good that burger was. After that, everybody brought me one. I shared them with the staff, other patients.. But I had one myself, each day.
Y’all, I’ve got to get myself into more recovery rooms. So much potential for humor!
Have you ever said something funny while totally out of it? Have you witnessed someone else say something too funny not to share? Tell us about it in the comments!
