You truly never know how things are going to go until you get there when it comes to dating.

A guy could be charming and sincere, exciting and bold, a total creeper that makes you glad you packed a taser, or nothing at all like his profile in the worst possible way.

So, it’s best to be prepared.

If you’re wondering what other women make sure to take when they’re headed out, these  ladies are ready to dish!

1. This made me snort.

A bible to put between your beds so Jesus reduces the temptation of sin.

Can also be used under a pillow to prop her butt up to a slightly better angle, for that Biblical grade hip-throwin’ action. Just like Jesus would’ve wanted.

2. Make sure you protect yourself.

I think some condoms disguised in chewing gum packets and some birth control pills and viagra in headache or essential supplements if you’re frisky…

And keep a pepper spray on hand at all times along with 911 on speed dial and tell some friend you’re going there and configure your phone to send location pings to the said friend at equal intervals, just in case something happens

3. She’s got him pegged.

I’m going to my girlfriend’s apartment to stay the weekend and she calls my backpack my hoe purse, Bring some clothes, fresh underwear, a phone charger, extra socks.

I also keep an extra suit, pair of sleeping clothes, and casual wear at her place. Side items are cologne, toothpaste/ brush, and shampoo at her place.

4. A small gauge.

A copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of War.

It’s a surprisingly quick read. If you’re reading it and you finish after he does, you have problems.

5. For a very specific sleepover.

strap-on dildo, clown mask, box of matches, and a dead rat.

6. A short list.

New underwear, a toothbrush or mouthwash, hair tie, makeup wipes, condoms, chapstick, lotion, maybe baby wipes if you don’t feel like using his shower.


7. Ummmm, explain?

Sewing kit, emergency flares, compass, MREs, magazine charger, camo sticks, canteen and pouch, combat webbing, and some weed.

8. A great idea.

I’d also add a non bulky outfit for the next day like a T-shirt leggings and flats.

That way you’re not doing the walk of shame in a minidress and heels at 10AM. I’ve been there and it’s the worst because you know that everyone knows lmao…

9. Depends on the plans.

I usually bring a separate bag because my purse is actually just like a wallet on straps.

Usually bring a change of clothes, perfume, deodorant, tooth brush, hair ties, gum. Sometimes I throw toys or alcohol in there, depends on the plans for the night.

10. The necessities.

Condoms, tampons, get away cash.

11. Quite the list.

Underpants, MAC-10, Four Loko, one additional pair of underpants and a harmonica.

12. A little snack.

Cereal bar or snack in case you are starving but don’t want to ruin the mood first thing in the morning if he’s still sleeping and don’t wanna rummage through his stuff… but small.

Can fit into a makeup case with travel deodorant and travel hair brush and travel toothbrush

13. Just a test.

A Tech Deck mini skateboard. Make your lower back/bum into a ramp for him to do tricks on.

If he can’t make a pop shoveit, you need to leave his house immediately.

14. If you can’t sleep in them.

Contact lens solution and glasses. I once had a girl stay the night and she forgot to take her lenses out, luckily her lenses stayed in place but she was in a lot of pain when she woke up.

I had to take her home with her unable to see after taking the lenses out.

15. Just the basics.

Charger, tampons, condoms, makeup remover (if you wear makeup) sleeping clothes, a change of clothes for the morning, deodorant, pepper spray, a knife, getaway cash, maybe some lotion (I always wash my face in the morning) and a toothbrush

16. From his perspective.

Apparently hundreds of hair ties and bobby pins to spread throughout my apartment.

Back in my much more promiscuous days I pretty much had a lost and found of random accessories in my apartment.

My current gf knows that when a random hair tie or something turns up that it was before I started dating her but she still is never too happy about it.

17. I have questions.

Handcuffs, plastic wrap, and a collection of He-Man dvds.

Go for gold.

18. Is that true?

Hotwheels car so he thinks you’re cool.

Bring the Legos too. Gotta have options.

19. That’s a big purse.

this ought to give you a good start : personal armor, baton, and riot helmet.Chemical irritants, such as pepper spray and tear gas, rifle that fires rubber bullets, stun grenades. flex cuffs .

If the night gets more serious Bolt cutters,Breaching charges, Fixed-blade knive,Night Vision Goggles,Body armor and plates,Modified/customized rifles customized to the task may be difficult to know if its the first date what’s appropriate, 45 caliber handgun, M79 Grenade Launcher with ammo Flachette,Illumination,Fragmentation, Smoke,Buckshot small point and shoot camera

If it goes side ways Hemorrhage kit:Compressed Gauze x4 Combat Gauze x3 (would prefer Celox Rapid) Elastic wraps (Ace wraps) x2 Pressure Dressing x1 (preferably the Olaes 6″)

Airway and Respiratory: Cric Kit x1 NPA x2 4″x4″ gauze x3 Chest seal x4 packs Hydrogel x1 Decompression Needle x3 (14g x 3.25″) Chest Tube kit x1 Suction Bag Value Mask (BVM)

Circulatory: Sodium Chloride 0.9% (NS) 500mL 6% Hetastarch 500mL IV Administration Kit x2 IO gun and 3 needles Basic Blood Transfusion Kit Sharps Shuttle

Helos Hypothermia Kit x 2 Fleece Beanie

Diagnostic: Blood Pressure Cuff Pulse Ox Thermometer Stethoscope Note book w/Marker 4″x4″ gauze (for going pt to pt)

Wound care and Closure:Skin Stapler Alcohol/Providone Iodine Swabs 2″x2″ Gauze 4″x4″ Gauze Durmabond 0.0 silk x2 Steri-strips Assorted Band-aids Dental Repair kit

Splinting: Elastic wrap 6″ x1 Sam Splint Finger splint x2

Miscellaneous: Sunsceen Eye cover Bio Freeze Batteries (AA, AAA, 123) Duct Tape Trauma Sheers Hand Sanitizer Anaphylaxis Kit: Epi-pen x2 Benadryl (50mg vital x2)

Medications: Ibuprofen Mobic Tramadol Prednisone Cipro Azithromycin Cyclobenzaprine Cough Drops Pepto Bismuth Loperimide (Imodium) Mucinex Ondansetron (Zofran) Benadryl Antacids Caffeine Meclizine Tylenol Cold and Allergy Hydrocortisone (topical) Cefazolin DiazepamMorphine x2 Invanz (ertapenem) Marcaine Promethazine x2 Diphenhydramine Ketorolac x2 Naloxone (Narcan) Ketamine Lidocaine Midazolam this will be a pretty good start you may need to modify as needed depending on location and length of stay

PS: 2 litters of water remember stay hydrated kids !!

20. This woman is focused.

Ziplock bag full of goldfish crackers to hide it for a secret snack later, mouth wash to hide you’ve been snack on goldfish crackers, and glow in the dark dinosaurs to distract him/her while you sneak away for some of those savory goldfish crackers.

21. It’s best to be prepared.

I bring too much it’s kind of embarrassing. I bring a whole gym bag with me.

Toilet wet wipes uHh.. Poo-pourri HAHA which in case if some of you guys don’t know, you spray it in your toilet before taking a dump. Makes it smell better.

Phone charger, wallet, extra clothes, makeup for touch ups, tweezers, my keys because I have a car and I also have keys disguised as knives, carry portable mirror, lotion, body perfume mist, my own body wash, hairbrush, hair detangler, deodorant, a lighter, gum.. there is so much I can’t even think of any at the top of my head anymore.

22. Through the ribs, anyway.

BBQ ribs. Maybe a nice steak. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

23. You don’t want to get hungry.

Make sure to grab yourself a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken to have in case ya get hungry. It’s finger lickin’ good!

24. Don’t leave home without it.

A backup plan.

25. Don’t forget the fun stuff.

Extra underwear, wet wipes/baby wipes, usb battery and charging cable for your phone, toothbrush/toothpaste, bandaids, mace, hair ties, several lengths of jute, handcuffs, clothpins, strapon, lube, handcuff keys (optional), paddle or riding crop, three seashells, ball gag, candle, matches, cucumber.

26. You know it.


In my experience sleeping with somebody new always take getting used to.

And some people can snore like woolly mammoths.

27. Fit it all in.

Cleanser, moisturizer, spf, extra clothes, mint spray, scrunchies.

28. Just say no.

Condoms. Bringing your own condoms means the guy can’t use the “oh I forgot condoms babe lemme do it anyways” crap.

Seriously don’t sleep with people who won’t put a condom on, that’s how you get STI’s and unwanted pregnancies

29. This made me laugh.

Tums, you don’t want a squirty tummy.

30. A serious one.

Your location to be known to another human being (sibling, friend, your ex, etc.)

31. Obviously.

Loose morals and a can-do attitude.

32. A bin for guests.

More for the guys reading: I always keep a couple of new toothbrushes at my house for company. If I’m seeing said company on a regular basis I try and find out what tampons/pads she uses and keep a box here. Both styles of phone cords. And a trash can in the bathroom with a lid.

Edit: and condoms. And a box of promiscuous accessories for the wild ones.

33. Because it could go either way.

condom, just in case you want the night to go that way. taser, if you decide you don’t want it to go that way. snack of some kind just in case the food available isn’t right (over-cooked, not offered at all, and so on).

if your purse is big enough, as others have said, change in clothes for the morning.

34. Think of the sheets!

Makeup remover!!!!

Don’t wear much but still don’t wanna kill a towel or pillow case of his

Some great ideas here, right?

If there’s anything missing that you think is a must-have, drop it in the comments!