After all the weddings are out of the way, next are The Baby Showers! Turns out, little babies need even more things than couples about to be married.
And, just like wedding showers, baby showers are bursting with weird happenings. So, if you’re finding yourself drowning in a sea of baby shower registries and needing a laugh, scroll through these hilarious tweets about this time-honored, gift-giving tradition.
1. Baby showers can get loud.
A pack of coyotes shrieking at 4 AM is less unsettling if you imagine they're all watching someone open presents at a baby shower.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 16, 2019
2. Practical gifts are the best.
[Baby shower]
Mom-to-be, opening my gift: What's this?
Me: A lock box.
MTB: For what?
Me: Your office supplies: tape, scissors, pens…
MTB:
Me: You'll thank me in 5 years.— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 13, 2019
3. Precious.
A baby shower game requested everyone write parenting advice on a notecard, so I wrote down my favorite margarita recipe.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 9, 2016
4. We drink at noon!
{baby shower for first time mom}
Me: Sometimes they’re allergic to the word no for months at a time. They break out in tantrums.
Sometimes they hate you just looking at you.
And sometimes they…Friend: *takes my sparkly blue drink* Ok, that’s quite enough for you.
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) December 26, 2019
5. Sit back, relax and balance cake on your belly.
Parents-to-be should enjoy that baby shower, because it's the last time parenting will ever again be a party or a piece of cake.
— Walking Outside in Slippers (@WalkingOutside) November 30, 2019
6. And chicken nuggets?
"Will there be alcohol there?"
–
~ the only thing I need to know about your baby shower— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) July 31, 2013
7. It’s cute all new moms think this.
*Friend opening iPad I gave her for her baby shower*
Her: But screentime is-
Me: -Shh
Her: Not until they're 2-
Me: *smothering her* Shhhhhh— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) December 29, 2016
8. You will never have enough poster board.
I think I'm going to start giving poster boards as baby shower gifts. They may not need them now, but they will LOVE me in 6-10 years.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) December 19, 2019
9. Say, what’s in this punch?
Sorry I got shitfaced at your baby shower and told you about how sexual I found George of the Jungle as a kid
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) April 2, 2016
10. Remembering Diaper Genie.
Shopping for a Baby Shower:
*ugh, really?
*you have genuinely terrible taste
*that's dumb, you're dumb, you'll never use that
*fine 'add to cart'
And do you know why? Because👏🏻you👏🏻always👏🏻purchase👏🏻from👏🏻the👏🏻registry👏🏻only👏🏻
— Some Boys' Mother (@someboysmother) June 3, 2019
11. You’re welcome.
*At baby shower*
Her- *opens mine* Umm, the gifts were supposed to be for the baby’s bathtime, not mine.
Me- When the baby bathes, so will you.— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) October 12, 2019
12. Toddlers are rude.
A baby shower really should just be a toddler sneezing on the new mother's face from 3 cm away. Because there's no gift like the truth.
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) August 29, 2016
13. And you will start getting coupons in the mail.
Saturday, I went to a baby shower, so the word “baby” came up once or twice.
Now, Instagram serves me *nothing* but mom-related ads.
[throws phone into the Hudson lives device-free in isolation as a mute for eternity]
— Sarah Sweeney (@heysarahsweeney) February 26, 2019
14. I used to keep tape and scissors in the glove box.
I've never not frantically wrapped the gift in the car outside the baby shower.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) May 20, 2017
15. Meanwhile, in Colorado.
Well, I happen to think "Will there be weed?" was a perfectly appropriate way to RSVP to your baby shower.
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) December 31, 2013
Whether you love going or dread them, baby showers are usually fun once you get there. Day-drinking is expected and a pregnant person has a say in the menu so chicken wings are likely.
So, support your new mom friends, play the games and squeal at all the cute baby clothes.
Also, consider throwing away the registry and buying the spa gift certificate. That’s the gift they will really love you for.
