I mean on the one hand they’re these fascinatingly complex machines forged by eons of adaptation and struggle and death and trial and error, and on the other hand if you look at them weird they kinda fall apart.
That’s the lesson that many people on Twitter are learning.
What's the stupidest injury you've ever occurred?
I'll go first: I popped my jaw last week by brushing my teeth too vigorously. It still hurts 😖
— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) March 21, 2021
Oh but it gets worse. Here are some more examples.
14. Bunt it
I think it’s safe to say you’re out.
I once broke a finger while trying to lay down a bunt…,at a batting cage
— Matt Brown (@MattBrownEP) March 21, 2021
13. Bemused
Yeah that sounds about right.
My kid count? He broke his arm on an orthopedic surgeon — yes, on the surgeon. Fell off the monkey bars at school, just as the doc was walking underneath to pick up his own kid. Hit the doc’s shoulder the wrong way, broken bone. The doc was bemused by the whole thing.
— Ben Berkowitz (@BerkowitzBT) March 21, 2021
12. Hot times
This kid is going places. I don’t know where, but places.
I poured scalding hot boiling water down my chest because my mom said said there was a hot water tank issue and if I wanted to take a shower I should use the kettle *and a washcloth* but I was playing video games and only heard if I wanted hot water I should use the kettle
— seth galina (@pff_seth) March 21, 2021
11. Way up high
This is like some absolutely horrific version of slapstick.
As a young electrician, working in an attic w/ no head room. Stripped end of wire, & the end flew into my eye. Reflex is to jerk head away, right into roofing nails that poke thru plywood. Reflex to THAT was to pull away, slammed chin on rafter, & then back to the nails, & so on.
— Bill Phillips (@DoubleYouDeeBP) March 22, 2021
10. What are ya, chicken?
Seems like you should just stay away from animals forever.
Broken bones:
1) Tripped over a chicken. Broken leg.
2) Caught a finger in a lunging dog’s collar. Broken finger.
3) Tried to go through a stall door at the same time as a horse. Broken wrist.The goats are planning their assault, I presume.
— Gina Spadafori (@GinaSpadafori) March 22, 2021
9. The blackout
At least you were around a nurse?
In 7th grade we had to get the TB test (shot?) in school. I’m afraid of shots. I ended up passing out, slamming my head on a file cabinet and then the floor. I got such a bad concussion that I had a seizure. I was carried out on a stretcher in front of the whole school. ?
— Emily C. Singer (@CahnEmily) March 22, 2021
8. The wall
You’re gonna have to back up a minute and walk me through this.
I broke both of my elbows by running into a wall https://t.co/gQT6cPKHfa
— Trevor (@trevor_brown14) March 23, 2021
7. A delicate balance
This hurts so much to read.
when I was 10 I landed my first successful backhandspring on the balance beam
I was so excited I went running to the locker room to tell my friends, tripped over a floor beam, and broke my pinky toe https://t.co/6F7JPAksXL
— Kira Kosarin (@kirakosarin) March 23, 2021
6. So romantic
The things that young men think women will be impressed by for some reason never cease to amaze me.
On a ferris wheel with a girl I liked, stopped at the top, I tried to impress her by unscrewing one of the ride's lightbulbs. It exploded in my hand. I spent the rest of a VERY slow ride in pain, with a black hand looking like a cartoon bomb went off. SHE WAS NOT IMPRESSED. https://t.co/C2sPyssDE7
— Zachs That Go Hard (@ZachBroussard) March 22, 2021
5. Just to be safe
Don’t do drugs, kids.
When I was young and stupid I took some bad drugs at a party & broke out in a rash the next day & the doctor was like ‘hmm it could be leukemia’ so I got a skin biopsy & when the results came back he said ‘no, it was bad drugs’. Anyway, that biopsy scar. https://t.co/MV3KTPoop0
— Lucy O'Brien (@Luceobrien) March 22, 2021
4. Back to basics
Totally worth it though.
I threw out my back reaching for a calzone too quickly. https://t.co/uuzHNn03Gk
— Dylan Park-Pettiford (@dyllyp) March 22, 2021
3. Sock it to me
Ageing is a lot of fun.
I tore my ACL putting a sock on…that’s all it took. https://t.co/YUcFhVKBt6
— Matt Baker (@MattBaker_1) March 22, 2021
2. Headfirst
You really gotta brace yourself.
I jumped into my couch headfirst to celebrate the Timberwolves making the Western Conference Finals.
My neck was in a brace for three weeks. https://t.co/UxXvlbXssb
— Shahbaz Khan (@ShahbazMKhan) March 22, 2021
1. Hippo impressions
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, kids are dangerous.
https://twitter.com/LindseyKelk/status/1374440119055179785
I need to go put on some bandages. Just in case.
What’s your dumbest injury?
Tell us the tale in the comments.
