You’re never too old to learn new jokes!
In fact, we believe that humor is one of the best parts about life!
I mean, think about it, what would life be without humor?
It would suck!
AskReddit users shared short jokes that all of us should be able to remember.
Let’s get funny!
1. Font funnies.
“Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender.
“We don’t serve your type.””
2. Haha!
“Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Control Freak.
Con…
OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?” “
3. Contractions.
“A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.””
4. Good luck.
“Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu.
You get what you deserve.”
5. Hey o!
“A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender.
The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.””
6. Just a stage.
“Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.”
7. Time to go.
“Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.”
8. I see…
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.”
9. Knew it.
“Why did the chicken go to the séance?
To get to the other side.”
10. That’ll do.
“Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.”
11. Good one.
“How do you drown a hipster?
Throw him in the mainstream.”
12. Poor thing.
“What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.”
13. Mind your business!
“What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business!”
14. I’m impressed.
“How does Moses make tea?
He brews.”
15. Thief!
“Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.”
16. It works.
“How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it.”
17. Social media humor.
“A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …””
18. For all the lazy folks.
“What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.”
19. Too dangerous.
“Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?
Because you should never drink and derive.”
20. LOL.
“What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line.”
21. Wow…
“What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?
The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.”
22. You know it!
“What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.”
23. Two gross.
“Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
It’s two gross.”
24. Back to foil.
“What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
“Curses! Foil again!””
25. Read it closely.
“What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Thanks— I’ll never part with it!”
26. Sounds good to me.
“What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.”
27. Got your nose!
“What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.”
28. I’d still eat it.
“What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.”
29. Kind of gross.
“How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.”
30. Let it sink in.
“What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!”
Now it’s your turn!
Share some jokes with us in the comments.
We can’t wait!
