Do people still use pick-up lines? Seriously, are those a real thing used in the real world? Or are they all just jokes?
I mean, these ones are definitely jokes. I think?
I dunno, Reddit. Teach me the ways of love.
1. We have the meats
D**n, boy. Are you Arby’s? Because nothing else in this airport is open, and I’m still oddly interested…
– rumpelsKILLskin
2. Dynamite
“I see you’re drinking 1 %. Is that because you think you’re fat? Because you’re not, you could be drinking whole if you wanted to.”
Legendary
– beddyby12
3. Yabba dabba doo
My name may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.
– RuneSwoggle
4. Balancing act
“when I saw you walk by it was like I was at the atm…..I had to check my balance”
– triggeranimal
5. Name it
You like my name?
Then you should hear my phone number.
– SuperJF45
6. Paving the way
Someone said this to my best friend about 25 years ago and I still smile when I think about it:
“I’m like… a dirt road, and you’re like… paved”.
– knockoutroundtwo
7. Trashy classy
“D**n girl you look like trash. Want me to take you out?”
– manny00778
8. Cover stories
Hey, if you need a ‘fake’ boyfriend for the night, just point at me and wave
If you need a real one for tomorrow, call me
– Vantahate
9. Thank you for your service
Hey baby, you wanna play Army?
I’ll lay down and you can blow the h**l out of me.
– ItsMyView
10. Nothing personal
If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
– stinkpalm
11. Count on me
“Wanna count shoulders?”
(You then proceed to count yours, then the other persons. At four, you’ll have your arm around them.)
– Starfall669
12. To the place where I belong
guy: country roooaaaaddd
girl: take me hooommme
guy: ok, if you insist
best pickup line i’ve ever seen
– FapuccinoWithCream
13. Minecraft
This one of mine has gotten mixed reviews:
Are you interested in physical labour that involves the extraction of minerals or metals from the earth?
Because I wanna make you mine.
– SendMeSpuds
14. Feelin’
I can’t feel my p**is!
Can you?
– Ecstatic_Literature1
15. Intergalactic planetary
Did you know that after tonight there will only be 7 planets left in the solar system?
Cause I’m gonna destroy Uranus.
– nokittythatsmypie
16. Local news
Are you from Tennessee?
‘Cause you’re the only ten I see.
– jeff_the_nurse
17. Oh, I see
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Cuz I can see myself in your pants
– DannyShah05
18. Wants and needs
“Got a boyfriend?”
Girl: “no”
“Want one?”
– Render_21
19. To the breach
Did it hurt?
Did what hurt?
Did it hurt when you ascended from h**l and breached the earth’s crust?
– captainkunkka604
20. Caught ya
“do you know what is different from a shower curtain to a toilet paper”
“no”
“so it was you”
– kingzmen909
21. Pump it up
“Are you lil pumps music? Cause I’ll NEVER play you.”
– bruhno293
22. Playing my tune
“You like jazz? If so, you should see my sacksophone”
– custardjongen
23. Combo breaker
You’re like a combo of cute and hot, like a cot.
I just wanna lay on top of you and be sore in the morning.
– bigfoot343
24. Food for thought
I have had surprising success with the following two
wanna get McDonald’s and f**k?
I believe we are what we eat and by tomorrow morning I intend to be you
– Askdrillsarge
25. Unnatural abilities
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? … Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying
– Jeffatron123
26. Honest Abe
Hey girl, are you Abraham Lincoln?
Because you’re causing an uprising down south.
– That1Niftyguy
27. No bones about it
I saw someone say on here one time (not to me, in a pick up line post)
“Your bone structure gives my bone structure”.
That has lived in my head rent free ever since.
– shartnado3
28. Spell it out
If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d make sure I came after U.
– myonkin
29. You’re toast
D**n girl are you a toaster cuz I wanna take a bath w/ you
– Captan-Seahawks
30. A good fit
Feel my shirt.
Want to know what it’s made of?
Boyfriend material.
That got a date.
– leese216
31. Hot coffee
Are you my pinky toe because I wanna bang you on my coffee table
– dangerburns880
32. Weight a minute
Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.
If I’m wrong, I’ll eat the difference
– dangerburns880
33. Park it
Girl, are you a parking ticket?
Cause you got FINE written all over you.
– -Quagmire
34. Pizza party
Wanna get pizza and f**k?
What? You don’t like pizza?
– kU5mFDpzv6rpY3pQ
35. Do the math
I wish I was your derivative so I could be tangent to those curves
– jaws3227
36. Drop ’em
You seem to have dropped something there…
Oh its your standards! Can I buy you a drink?
– Smiles_will_help
37. Heatin’ up
Hey girl are you a microwave?
Cause mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
– Birthday-Specialist
38. Stud muffin
Are you looking for a STUD?
Because I already have the STD, all I need is U.
– AGH8
39. Now we’re cookin’
Are you a pan cuz im going to put my meat in you for about 30 seconds
– FlameMane87
40. Call a plumber
There’s an old sewage department saying: If you’ve got a nice drain pipe there’s no reason to hide it
– Swackhammer_
41. Drink it in
Dips fingers in a glass of water and flicks a few drops towards prospective date
“I think we should go back to your place and get you out of these wet clothes”
– cruiserman_80
42. It’s a trip
Hey did I see you on Trip Advisor the other day?
Yeah, I was looking for the best place to eat out
– dangerburns880
43. No butts about it
“You’ve got something on your butt”.
“?”
“My eyes”.
– Khenghis_Ghan
44. Mirror, mirror
“Want to go watch a p**no together on my new flat-screen mirror?”
– kaosi_schain
45. No scrubs
I was out in a work do once.
I saw a girl I knew and jokingly said “you scrub up well”.
It wasn’t the girl I knew at all, but a total stranger.
And we ended up leaving together!
– The-Go-Kid
46. Face the facts
Did you fall from heaven?
Because your face is f**ked up.
– ChrisNEPhilly
47. Nailed it
Is heaven missing an angel?
Cuz you’ve got nice cans.
– gavreaux
48. Money, honey
If your bank balance was the same as your phone number, how much money would you have?
– T**tysprinkles29
49. D**ks out
Hey girl, are you the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo?
Because I want to drop a kid in you.
– Mythopoeist
50. Look it up
“are you a dictionary?….Cause you got definition.”
– triggeranimal
51. Sweet nothings
“you know what looks good on you?”
“nothing”
– snowflakeshwa
52. Get a leg up
Do you know what my favorite word is? “Legs”, do you want to help me spread the word
– diablo2488
53. Legit leggy
I love the way your legs make an a** of themselves
– Citizen_31415
54. hard and fast
Do you know the difference between a Ferrari and a hard on?… I don’t have a Ferrari
– bionikchkn
55. A catch thiiiiis big
My friend once said
“girl you’re like a prize bass. I don’t know if I should eat you or mount you!”
– Mullet1983
56. Getting colder
Do you know how much a Polar bear weighs?
Enough to break the ice.
– Nuffsaid98
57. The steaks are high
“Da** girl, are you a steak? Cause I’d eat your tenderloin.”
– Lichsenate
58. Indecent proposal
“Would you have s** with a stranger for $10 million?
(Hopefully they say yes).
Well now that we have established you are willing to prostitute yourself, what can I get for $5?”
– Aubear11885
59. Blown away
Did you fart
Cause you blew me away.
– gorillahands2006
60. Morning glory
When picking up a random woman:
“How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled, over easy, or fertilized?”
– Dankman
61. Saving face
Mask mandate pick up lines.
“Hey baby. I wanna share my whole face with you”
– draivaden
62. Stuck on you
Girl, you’re like gorilla glue.
I can’t get you out of my head.
– muerte626
63. When life gives you limes…
How to flirt
1: get a bunch of limes
2: accidentally drop them in front of your crush
3: try several times unsuccessfully to pick them up
4: say “sorry, I’m really bad at pick up limes”
5: success
– pioneerlegend
64. I’m fine
“How are you?”
“Good, but clearly not as fine as you.”
– theJourneyEnds
65. Dead media
Do you like tapes and CDs?
Then let me tape my d**k to your forehead so you can CDs balls
– iDavidC96
66. It’s because I’m so in love
I don’t like sand.
It’s course, rough and irritating.
And it gets everywhere
– Alanitzio
67. It adds up
I’m sin2 theta you’re cos2 theta, together we’re one
I want to be your derivative so I can be tangent to your curves
– Perfect_Pen_1793
68. Do the creep
If I can guess your address will you go out with me?
– bagelport
69. Just breathe
It’s a good thing I brought my inhaler cuz you got that a**, ma.
– No_Disk3484
70. They’re everywhere
“I’m calling you about your cars extended warranty, we’d like to know if you could sit down with a representative this Friday afternoon at ___(Insert Restaurant here) at _o’clock. Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day.”
– high-im-stupid
Seriously like…you’re not really using those.
…are you?
Tell me if you are in the comments. I genuinely need to know.
