Muhammed Nitoto calls himself a “Dad-Vocate” and it’s easy to see why. He uses his life experiences to give great advice on social media to other dads about a variety of topics. Nitoto is the father of two daughters and he frequently chronicles his life and times on Facebook and Instagram.
He recently got on Facebook to advise other men what they can do to help out their partners who happen to be breastfeeding.
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Daddy Chronicles Male Postpartum Its real and it's something that as a man getting ready to have a child I was told to be aware of. Not for myself but for my woman because child birth affects women in so many diffrent ways. I was told I needed to be prepared to step up and help her through it best I could. What I never thought was I might deal with that issue for myself. A man having Postpartum sounds crazy. Like what do we as men go though? We don't carry the baby for 9 month, we don't have to deal with the pain and dangers of child birth and our bodies don't change at all. So what are we depressed about? Here's what happened; As soon as my daughter was born I was so happy. She was the single greatest thing id ever done. But I also felt guilty. Guilty because I wasn't were I wanted to be in life. I didn't have everything I felt she deserved and I didn't feel like I was enough. She deserved better and I was scared. Her survival was in my hands and I was only use to taking care of myself. Now all my flaws didn't just affect me. Crazy thing is her Mom was dealing with everything I was told to prepare myself for so what do you think I did? What every man does. I kept it to myself. Sharing my feelings wasn't a thought But it was affecting me. I didn't go out much, I completely stopped wanting to workout, I slept a lot and really just lost motivation. All of this while im suppose to have the best time of my life. To afraid to tell my partner how I felt because I felt weak and she needed me to man up. I remember crying in the shower just thinking about my life and how I was failing. 5 Tips for new Dads or soon to be Dads; 1. Be open with your partner about how you feel. Not talking about it doesn't make it better nor does it confirm your manliness. The weakest thing you could do is think it's not okay to be vulnerable 2. Know the signs & symptoms of PPD. Recognizing it comes from knowledge of what it is. 3. Find a Dad you can talk to and share your feelings. They will relate and understand. 4. Dont put too much pressure on yourself. Not having it all doesn't mean you're doing great. 5. Don't lose yourself in trying to be a great Dad. You are still you.
Here is the advice that Nitoto laid out on Facebook. Pay attention, fellas:
“Daddy Chronicles: Breastfeeding
Last Month was Breastfeeding Awareness Month. So I figured id drop some knowledge on my fellow Dads and soon to be Dads. Here’s what it looks like for the first few weeks or months after your child is born. Yup if mom breastfeeds they pretty much are tucked like this and at times you’ll wonder “what is there for me to do?”
Here’s my top 5 tips for any Dad after your child is born.
1. For night feedings. When mom wakes up in the middle of the night. You get up and ask if she needs any help or water. The truth is most of the time she will say no but just the fact that you offered will go far.
2. Ask mom if she can pump and then pick 1 feeding that you will always do. Mom will take on almost everything and will burn herself out if you let her. At times you may have to force her to rest without worrying about the baby. This is an easy way to do that without a fight.
3. Don’t put a time limit on how long mom breastfeed the baby. It’s not just about feeding your child it’s about them bonding as well. I know everyone has a diffrent length of time they will breastfeed and as a Dad it’s hard to fully understand. Do not I repeat DO NOT try and rush this process it’s not our place and it’s not safe. You will open yourself up to a fight you can’t win.
4. Be patient. I know as a Dad the first few weeks we are equally excited and yet not as important yet. Your time will come faster than you know. Babies grow fast and the stronger bigger they get the more Daddy Time will be coming your way.
5. Paternity leave! If you have it TAKE IT. The early stages of a childs life are not just for moms to enjoy. I know as men making the money especially after having a baby but trust me. You can always make money but there are no instant replays in life. It doesn’t make you more of a man to not take the leave. It’s equally as important that you as a Dad get to be a part of the early development of your child.
Someone needs this info Tag them.”
Great advice from a guy who’s been in the trenches.
Basically, he knows what he’s talking about!
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Never thought what I was doing would connect with so many people. We will be on the @kellyclarksonshow tomorrow Mon. 2pm PST on NBC tune in and watch us. Got the chance to talk with @kellyclarkson about my Daddy Chronicles #kellyclarksonshow #theblackmancan #daddydaughter #daddiesgirls #thechroniclesofdaddy #lifestyle #love #daddygang #nitotogirls #twoundertwo #daddysgirls #afrofitness #blackgirlmagic #blackdads #blackfamily #blackfathers #frobabies #blackexcellence #smile #dontforgetdads #wivesandmothers #thedadgang #blackmomsblog #luvblacklove #bestfriendgoals #daddiesdothistoo #lifeofadad #strongblackfathers
Be sure to follow Nitoto on Instagram as well to keep up with his life with his wife and kids.