Til death do us part…
Do you remember when you said that as you stared into your partner’s eyes? And you thought you would live happily ever after?
Well, look at you now…I bet you had no idea that your life would now consist of petty arguments about how to load the dishwasher…you were so naive…
Just kidding! We’re happy for you and I’m sure the whole marriage thing is going swimmingly, but you have to admit that there are a lot of funny and quirky (and sometimes annoying) things about being married.
And these tweets nailed it! Let’s take a look.
1. Yeah, pretty much sums it up.
Give me back my heat!
So far I've discovered marriage is mostly just the cold spouse trying to steal heat from the other.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) January 26, 2021
2. Could this really be happening?
Say it ain’t so!
I am one more week of lockdown away from flirting with my own wife.
— Brona C. Titley (@bronactitley) February 7, 2021
3. I think he’s right about this.
I’m on his side on this one!
Husband: What are you doing?
Me: Saving the environment.
Husband: You’re standing over the kitchen counter eating ice cream from the carton.
Me: Exactly. From the carton, which means I’m saving water not washing a dish.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) February 6, 2021
4. I’m right over here!
Wait, did you just say that out loud?
Me: Somewhere out there my soulmate is watching this same murder documentary and eating a block of cheese in her sweatpants
— Maryfairyboberry??♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) February 5, 2021
5. This is a classic husband joke.
You really nailed it!
Wife: I need some chicken stock.
Me: okay. I’ll call the broker tomorrow.
— Nater (@GorillaNipples1) February 4, 2021
6. Not so fast!
It’s always your fault, dude.
Husband: It’s not my fault.
Narrator: He later learned it was his fault. All his fault.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 4, 2021
7. You’re right, it’s blowing up!
That’s called “going viral.”
Wife: My post is going wild.
*go to her page*
— jess salomon (@jess_salomon) February 3, 2021
8. Sounds like a blast!
You know this happens to you, too.
Let’s get married and have kids so we can spend hours preparing and cleaning up after dinner so our kids can spend seconds deciding they just don’t like the texture.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 4, 2021
9. That didn’t work out so well…
Honey, don’t do that anymore…
I’m sorry we’re late, my husband wanted to find the car keys himself this time.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) February 1, 2021
10. Proving your point.
And doing it in style!
Husband: I bet you can't stay off Twitter for one day
Me *stays off for two days so I can call him Wrongy McWrongface for the next two months*
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) February 7, 2021
11. We did this?
Are you sure about that?
One of my husband’s most impressive talents is how he’s able to say the word “we” and have it actually mean “you.” For example “I see we finished the entire pack of Oreos we opened just this morning.”
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) February 1, 2021
12. Always a rude awakening.
Don’t do that again!
No matter how hot the night is, never underestimate how cold your wife’s feet will be when she puts them on your back.
— Crockett? (@CrockettForReal) August 25, 2019
How about all of you out there?
Are things in your house a little tense these days or is everything A-OK?
Talk to us in the comments and give us an update!