AskReddit is a thriving community of people who ask random questions and others who give interesting answers!
As we all know, cats are interesting creatures that don’t naturally have pockets, but this begs the following question:
If cats had pockets what would you find in your cats pockets? from AskReddit
Redditors gave us some interesting answers! Also, cats are weird.
30. Lots Of Food
“Food for now, food for later, and food for even later.
My cat’s a pig who will knock things over and break them to get to food.”
29. Hair Ties, Bottle Caps, and More!
“All of my hair ties(hides them all or gathers them in one spot) 1/2 of a potato chip(and/or cracker)
The cap to my water bottle (hides it constantly)
Food stashed away as of preparing for starvation(every meal is last meal).”
28. Cute Tiny Mittens!
“Tiny mittens because I put them there.”
27. Depends On Which Cat
“I have three cats, so there are multiple things.
My first cat, Pallmedow, would have food in her pockets.
My second cat, Mac, would have toy bell balls in his.
My third cat, Paula, would have cords.”
26. Here’s What You Wouldn’t Find
“Tell you what you wouldn’t find.
A single fuck.”
25. A Sharp Item!
“A shiv, but I’d never see it coming.”
24. A Sock!
“My childhood cat once found a sock I had left outside, she was very proud to return it, the howling around a mouthful of sock was adorable.”
23. A Hodgepodge of Items!
“Foods he decides to eat later, my hamster, pieces of garbage he found in the house…that kind of stuff.”
22. Maybe a Ring!
“My cat doesn’t just like milk rings, she’s taken to stealing my husband’s wedding ring if he sets it down.
She even tries to get it off his finger if he puts his hand in front of her.
I cant tell if she just likes the ring or if she’s trying to get rid of me and this is part of the plan.”
21. A Lot of Catnip!
“Cat number one: those silver fuzzy toy balls. But only the silver ones.
Cat number two: twice the legal carry limit for catnip
Cat number three: you know that meme about spaghetti falling out of someone’s pockets? It’s that, but with friskies turkey and cheese
Cat number four: hmmm let’s see, chewed up rubber power cables, elastic bands, whiskas temptations, crinkle balls, fuzzy crinkle balls, litter, the carcasses of the man da rats she has felled, stolen puzzle pieces, stolen socks, and a picture of her one true love, cat number one, who hates her guts.”
20. A Lot of Electronic Gadgets
“His own smartphone. And a go-pro. With 65 hours of video of me sleeping while evil cat laughter can be faintly heard in the background.
Fuck you, Kyle, you sneaky-ass bastard.
I know it was you who dropped that lamp on my head.”
19. Some Hefty Plans
“A handful of bobby-pins, a piece of string, that earring I “lost” and detailed plans to take over the world…”
18. A Ton of Secrets!
“Their pockets are full of secrets.
No way they can be licking their butts in the corner for that long, they must be gathering intel for their plan to take over the world.”
17. A Diverse Array of Things!
“Keys, purse, a copy of the Necromonicon, some mints, and a relic of a long lost civilisation, it’s oddly attractive yet repulsive all at once.
Perfectly smooth on one side, course as the Sahara on the other.
Many have gazed upon it and gone quite mad. In a quiet room, some swear it hums to them…”
16. Hidden Toys and Springs
“All those plastic spring toys which have vanished! Not under the furniture or appliances, over 30 of them just gone.
I know they’ve hidden these toys somewhere.”
15. Nothing Will Truly Change
“The same things that he now hides under my wife’s chair.
(any small thing he can knock off of an end table.)”
14. Tiny Guitar Picks!
“All my guitar picks.”
13. A Mischief Map
“A map of my house marked with the best hiding spots so the little fucker can jump out and scare the shit out of me.”
12. Lost Chapsticks!
“All of my lost chapsticks that he likes to play with and chew on because I have no pockets to keep them in.”
11. Lots of Snacks!
“Little pieces of her dried food. She’s definitely a snacker.”
10. CIA-Sanctioned Listening Devices
“All cats with pockets would have listening devices because they are part of the CIA’s revival of their failed Project Acoustic Kitty from the 1960s that was meant to be used to spy on the Soviets.”
9. A Lot of Plastic Bags
“My big boi Ted would have a plastic bag full of plastic bags because he fucking loves sitting on plastic bags for some reason. His other pocket would be full of cat toys because he likes to move them all into his plastic throne like a dragon hoarding gold.
My little queen Agatha would put a little toy snake she loves and then probably try and keep milk in her other pocket somehow. Either that or weapons she can use to defeat Ted.”
8. Brass Knuckles
“A fucking megaphone, some brass knuckles, and probably a locket with my picture in it (I love my goddamn son and he loves me right back. cats have emotion).”
7. Names and Addresses
“My cat passed away some 24 years ago. He kinda looked like Salem from Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
If he had had pockets, there would have been a list there with the names and addresses of every old lady in the town we lived in. Whenever we tried to feed him dry cat food, he would get offended and go and visit some dear old lady that would take pity on him and cook fish for him. He did this on numerous occasions until we finally caved.”
6. Her Pockets Would Be Too Full!
“I would find my cat unable to move from the massive amounts of turkey she would have weighing her down.
Little lady is a FIEND.”
5. A Stink Bug
“Probably a stink bug.
My cats are obsessed with those little bastards flying around, but when they catch one, they don’t know what to do with it.
Can’t bite it. Can’t really paw at it or bat it around to play with it.
So stick in their pocket.”
4. What Up With Bottle Caps?
“I have two cats. This is Oliver.
Random bottle caps. He then takes them out at 2am and scrapes them across the floor slowly.
2am is Oliver party time at my house.
Last night I got woken up by chopsticks and I have no clue where he got them from.
My other cat Fluff would have boxes from Amazon in his pockets.”
3. Fancy Useful Algorithms
“Algorithms regarding gravitational pull on objects near edges of shelves and counters, width, length of average temperature of laptop keyboards and quantum studies on the speed of light and methods to entrap it.”
2. Something to Play Fetch With
“She would have something to play fetch with, just in case the opportunity arises. I’ve had another cat that could play fetch, but only if I started it.
This sweet, obnoxious kitty will wake me up at night with her ball. I hid all of her toys at night for a few days before she started figuring out she could bring any fucking thing to play with. Earmuffs, a small kid toy, pencil, all the hairbands, etc.”
1. What Kind of Pockets?
“To clarify: does the cat itself have pockets, or is it wearing pants?”
It looks like cats are obsessed with bottle caps, hair ties, and random objects! We expect them to take over the world and look cute with pockets.
What kinds of things do you think your cat would put in their pockets if they had any? We’d love to read your answer in the comments!