For some people, this sounds like a dream. For others…I can see how it might lead to some problems.
Hell, maybe they do it because of their problems. I’m talking about couples who sleep in separate beds.
Folks on AskReddit opened up and talked about why they choose to sleep apart from their spouse or partner.
1. Sounds reasonable.
“My wife has crazy anxiety dreams and is seriously afraid of noises in the night and that intruders are coming in. She has to sleep with the TV on or something to distract her.
I cannot have any talking noise or I try to pay attention to it.”
2. Snoring problems.
“I know an older couple that have separate rooms.
From what I can tell, they’re very much in love, and very clearly and openly affectionate with each other.
Apparently her snoring is next level. Like, their dog starts barking if he’s nearby.”
3. Total opposites.
“I have a hard time falling asleep without something to distract my brain from thinking.
I usually watch a show/documentary or do some repetitive game on my phone to accomplish this.
She can’t stand the lights from the screen.”
“I can’t go to sleep without a movie to help turn my brain off. My husband hates it.
The minute he turns the tv off, I’m awake. So 3-4 nights a week, I sleep on the couch.
Another reason is our mattress is too soft and kills my back.”
5. On the brink of divorce.
“My husband snores so badly. He’s done two sleep studies and used every nasal strip and spray on the market. Nothing helped. We were honestly on the brink of divorce because of how little sleep we were getting.
But then our kids wanted to get bunk beds and share a room. My husband moved into the spare room, making it his own, also getting his super firm mattress he prefers. Honestly, it saved our marriage.
Sleep is incredibly important. When you are well rested, little things don’t blow up into big things. It seems odd, even to us, but we try not worry too much about it. I’d argue we’re more connected now than we’ve ever been.”
6. It’s a seasonal thing.
“During the Summer I move to another room we call “the wind tunnel”. Basically I have a ceiling fan going almost 24/7 and a window fan above the bed I run from 7pm-8am.
She has allergies and easily gets runny nose and sneezes from any moving air. My body temp will skyrocket and I’ll sweat like crazy in a room devoid of moving air. So she sleeps in a stuffy no air movement master bedroom and I sleep soundly in the Wind Tunnel.
During the winter I move back, cause then I become the ultimate body warmer for her.”
7. See you in the morning.
“I am an absolute terrible person to share a bed with. I snore like a passing semi truck and apparently (I’m told) flail wildly in my sleep. When we first got married I kept waking up to an empty bed. She would join me for an hour until I was asleep, then retreat to the couch.
After a week or two I got fed up and just went to the couch first. Then started several months of us trading off for the couch. Eventually I just went and bought a twin mattress and tossed it in the office. That became my bed. And when we got a bigger house, I just setup in a separate room.”
8. On different schedules.
“Different sleep cycles and work schedules. He wakes up 3 hours before me.
I’m a shift worker. She’s a teacher.”
9. Like The Brady Bunch.
“We blended two households. His bedroom was fully furnished and the furniture and closet were full. It made sense for my stuff to go in a different bedroom.
We started out sleeping in one room or the other but I realized pretty quickly that, if I ever wanted to get a full night’s sleep, it wasn’t going to be in the same bed with him. I’ve been known to call him a sweating, snoring, slant sleeping son-of-a-bitch after a night of his sweating, snoring, and slant sleeping.
We do a “your place or mine” thing for non-sleeping activities but GTO when it’s sleepy time.”
10. What happened last night?
“Sleep cycles and she violently tosses around. I’ve been asked by my commander if I got into a fight when I showed up to duty with a black eye.”
11. Not gonna happen.
“Spouse snores, two 60 pound dogs, and a queen size bed. No room for me and I need dead silence.”
12. A new level.
“My stepmother’s parents took this to a new level.
He built a second house next door. They lived next to each other for 20 years before they both passed in a short amount of time.
It seemed very odd to me, but it worked for them. At least from an outside perspective. I know images never reflect reality.”
13. “It’s been great.”
“We’re both 41, been married 23 years and sleep in different beds. First half of our marriage we always slept in the same bed (of course there was the occasional crying kid who wanted mommy to sleep with them, or falling asleep on the couch or somewhere else).
About ten years ago I spent a year working a midnight shift so I started sleep on our spare bed in the basement. We both realized we had much better sleep separate in our own beds.
After I went back to a day shift we went back to sleeping in the same bed and soon realized sleeping apart was more restful. Over time we bought two full size beds and put them in our bedroom (like the old TV shows). It’s been great.”
14. Saved their marriage.
“My parents do this.
My Mom likes to sleep with the TV on, my Dad snores and steals sheets.
My mother claims sleeping separately saved their marriage.”
Those responses sure are enlightening.
What do you think? Would you stand for sleeping in separate beds? Maybe you do sleep in a different bed than your partner?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know how the arrangement works in your house!