Okay, my friends (and probably a few enemies…let’s be honest), we’re here today to bring you some hilarious tweets that were almost 100% certain will make you laugh and will bring a big smile to your face.
Twitter can be intimidating, so it’s important for YOU to rely on US to sort through everything and only deliver the good stuff.
Know what I’m saying?
Here are 13 more hilarious tweets for your enjoyment.
You may proceed!
1. Hahahaha. Very funny.
And he has the original pressing on vinyl.
HIPSTER COP: *into radio* "We've got a 13-88 in progress…it's a pretty rare crime, you probably wouldn't know it"
— Steven W Skinner (@SkinnerSteven) March 28, 2015
2. I’ve thought about this many times…
Something for everyone to ponder.
Have we considered that millennials might be so lazy because their generation doesn't have a hit song about taking care of business?
— jordan (@jordan_stratton) January 14, 2016
3. That’s against the rules.
So don’t ever do it again!
ME: [licking lips in anticipation] I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee jump before.
INSTRUCTOR: don't lick my lips again.
— Paul (@FrenulumBreve) August 19, 2015
4. Not that kind of attack.
Now look what you did!
Karate instructor: Come at me with an attack and I will defend it.
Me: You are stupid.
Instructor: *holding back tears* I meant physically
— ste(ph)en (@stephenjmolloy) February 5, 2017
5. Kinda morbid when you think about it.
But let’s play anyway! With children!
Hangman is a great game to teach kids that if they don't learn how to spell, they could be put to death.
— Amish PornStar™ (@AmishPornStar1) June 4, 2015
6. A great point.
They probably don’t even notice. This is a big problem.
How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it? Just another reason to teach your cat to read.
— Kendra Gaylord (@kendragaylord) April 27, 2016
7. They made a choice.
But was it the right choice…?
birds can make their homes in tall treetops and soar at great heights and pigeons are like no thank you i will commute by foot to home depot
— tara shoe (@tarashoe) July 13, 2015
8. Kind of backfired on the bartender…
But you learned something new!
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face and he says it's so when I'm eating prairie grasses I can see predators
— Reverend Bobby Viscount of the Lightning Zone (@Bob_Janke) June 11, 2014
9. Kinda sick of that one.
You need to come up with some new material.
She: But WHY are you breaking up with me? Please tell me honestly.
He (sigh): Ok It's…your "signature sex move"
She: Judgmental Corpse?
— Hi, it's Abby. Yep (@abbycohenwl) March 27, 2015
10. You got the gist of it.
No need to actually go out into the woods.
I’ve never been camping, but once my phone died and I looked up and saw a tree.
— beth (@bourgeoisalien) August 12, 2015
11. Time to get rid of that thing.
Once and for all!
My wife asked why I carried a gun around the house. I told her:fear of CIA. She Laughed, I laughed, the Amazon Echo Laughed. I shot the Echo
— Ron Futrell (@RonFutrell) March 7, 2017
12. You sound a little…paranoid.
Just being honest with you…
“Welcome to subway how can I-“
Me: (punches the counter) WHY DOES THE KOOL AID MAN CARRY A SMALLER PITCHER OF KOOL AID
Me: IS IT HIS PISS
— retired Fan (@hippieswordfish) April 28, 2020
13. Hammer fist.
The sharks better be careful out there this summer.
Two Ways Sharks Can Die:
1. if they stop swimming
2. if they start swimming (into my fists)
— ♥mark magark♥ (@markedly) January 3, 2017
Funny, funny, funny!
What else can you really say???
Have you seen anything on social media lately that really made you laugh?
If so, please share it with us in the comments.
We’d love to hear from you!