What happens to foreplay after you’ve been married for a while?
Does it slow down? Cool off? Does the bedroom become like a meat locker because there just isn’t any action anymore?
Well, before we jump to any conclusions, let’s see what folks had to say about this on Twitter…
1. It’s working!
Nice job, sir.
My husband booked me an eye-exam and pre-filled all the paperwork for the appointment. Is this some sort of foreplay? Because if it is, it’s working.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) November 11, 2020
2. How’d that work out for you?
my wife just sang the animal crossing theme song during foreplay so
that’s where we’re at.
— niki ang (@nicolaang) April 8, 2020
3. This is it.
Gotta take the good with the bad.
Me: Texts husband to come upstairs.
Husband: Comes up with snacks and a cold drink.
And that’s what foreplay looks like after 12 years of marriage.
— hardpassmama (@KarenGiannina6) March 3, 2020
It is what it is…
Just caught husband’s eye while the kids weren’t looking & mimed fellatio on a SpongeBob Popsicle so there’s tonight’s foreplay.
— Val (@ValeeGrrl) September 6, 2016
5. That’s the spot!
You know you’ve been married for a while when a back scratch counts as foreplay.
— Blair ?? (@JumpedUpChuck) October 15, 2018
6. That’s the good stuff!
What you did earlier was so hot…
What do you call it when your spouse yells at your child on your behalf? I call it foreplay.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 8, 2020
7. You are officially gross.
Actually, you’re disgusting.
I just sent my husband a picture of a footlong turd our monstrosity of a cat, birthed. I call this foreplay.
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) August 26, 2021
8. Be careful where you put that stuff.
It could get ugly…
Rubbing IcyHot on your wife’s back is considered foreplay in your forties.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) October 7, 2020
9. Look at it rise.
My husband just enthusiastically shushed me so that he could watch a 10 minute video on making sourdough bread, so yeah, I guess you can say we take part in foreplay.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) April 2, 2021
10. Don’t mess this up!
That better be SPF 50…
You know you’re married with kids when having your spouse apply sunscreen to your back counts as foreplay
— Go Ask Your Dad (@_goaskyourdad_) July 6, 2020
Now we want to hear from you.
Share some funny tweets with us!
Do it in the comments!