You’ve lost that spark…I can tell…
And by the way, I’m not talking trash…
Because I’ve lost it, too.
What happened to me? I used to be so full of life…
But we’re gonna get that spark back for ME and for YOU today, alright?!?!
And we’re gonna do it with amazingly hilarious tweets.
Does that sound excellent, or what?
You know it does! So let’s quit messing around and get to the healing!
1. You’re a great parent.
And you’re teaching the kids well!
My son saw me putting on concealer under my eyes and said, “why are you doing that?” I said, “It makes me look a bit younger and more awake.” He said, “But inside you’re old and tired?” And I said yep and he said “tricky!” with admiration
— ally (@TragicAllyHere) April 22, 2021
2. Can we get some scientific proof about this?
So far I haven’t seen any evidence.
I believe in aliens more than I believe in a “runner’s high”
— natalie (@princessbozo) May 5, 2021
3. Did I steal something?
I just can’t remember!!
U know that feeling of anxiety as you’re about to walk past the security sensors on your way out of a store and u think omg did I shove a tv up my ass i can't remember
— m@thew (@TweetPotato314) December 26, 2019
4. The more you know…
I’m gonna start using this…
people don’t know this, but you can say “trick or treat” any time of the year. it’s always a valid ultimatum
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) April 23, 2021
5. That is kind of rude when you think about it.
What are you looking at…?
Imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday. Every half hour it goes to your room opens the door, and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves.
— Shower Thoughts (@showerfeelings) May 30, 2018
6. This sounds like a good life plan to me.
He’s a good role model for all of us.
In honor of Van Gogh’s birthday I will also be poor & slowly going insane.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) March 30, 2021
7. I thought he was supposed to care about that…
What happened to Jimmy?
JIMMY: hey check it out *cracks corn*
ME: whatever dude
— perpetual meh (@SortaBad) March 1, 2019
8. That household sounds very intense.
You’re gonna have to keep an eye on these little ones…
Caught my toddler questioning the baby. He wanted my newborn baby to admit that he can talk. Told the baby I KNOW YOU CAN TALK. It was a full on interrogation. Lmao I’m not letting him watch Boss Baby no more. He tweakin
— Hardcore Bubbles (@gorgeousmia91) April 13, 2021
9. He had a sophisticated palette as a youngster.
I don’t think I knew what lox was until I was 30.
What’s the most insane thing you’ve ever seen your sibling do in public? My brother once stomped his foot because they were out of lox and salmon creme cheese at Whole Foods.. in front of the cashier ..
— Meg Stalter (@megstalter) July 26, 2020
10. It’s not good for your eyes!
Put that thing away, will you?!?!
[1890s guy] I gotta stop looking at my candle before bed
— Caleb Pitts (@Braingetter) April 9, 2021
11. They definitely don’t like the manual labor part.
But the rest of it is all good…
Hipsters love beards, flannels, and axe-throwing. It's like they love everything about lumberjacks but manual labor.
— Erik Bergstrom (@Erik_Bergstrom) January 16, 2020
How about you?
Have you seen any funny tweets lately that really made you LOL?
If so, please share them with us in the comments.
Thanks, amigos! You da best!