I’ve often dreamed about this during my life…
I’ve had a few dogs and cats throughout the years and I’ve always thought it would be amazing if we could communicate with each other through actual language and not just barks and purrs (and bites).
A man can dream, right…?
Folks on AskReddit talked about how they’d spend 24 hours with their pet if they could talk.
Let’s take a look!
1. Let’s get to know you.
“I’d take mine up to the mountains, hike, camp, and just get to know the real them.
What makes them happy? Sad? Why do they pee on my husband’s pillow? I would tell them how much I truly love them and always will. How happy they make me.
Why I don’t want them barking at the mail carrier and the very nice UPS guy.”
2. I like this.
“Write down every single quality of life improvements I can make for you.
Let’s go find you your perfect food to eat, let’s make sure there aren’t any aches and pains you have that we can’t address.
Tell me all of your favorite spots, what you like, what you don’t. Literally everything.”
3. Explain it all.
“I would tell them that I love them, and that they’re good, and I would explain that I don’t cut their nails or vacuum the floor to hurt and scare them, it’s just stuff I need to do.
I would want to know what their lives looked like before they got to my family, if they can remember it. I would talk to them about funny stories from when they were young, and hopefully they’d have funny stories from when I was young. I would also like to hear what gossip they might know because people still talk when pets are around.
I would want to ask them if there are ways I’ve been caring for them wrong, how I can care for them better and enrich their lives more. Are they hurting in any places that aren’t obvious? They’re getting old, so I just want them to be happy for as many years as they have left.”
4. Love fest.
“If I could have a conversation with my dog I’d also ask her if she feels loved, what makes her happy, is she hurting anywhere and how can I make her feel better?
What’s her favorite food?
Does she want a brother or sister?
What’s her favorite place to visit?
Does she like when I read to her? And why is she always staring at me when I wake up in the morning lol
I’d tell her I’m sorry for all the times I accidentally hurt her or scared her, I didn’t mean to, I love you.
I would also tell her she is my favorite thing in the world; there is nothing and no one better than her. I’d tell her she makes me happy everyday. And all I want is to make her happy. I’d tell her how much I love seeing her face first thing in the morning, and at night, patting her back softly until she falls asleep, tucked into my arm while I read before we go to bed.
My world is a 20 lb ball of fur on 4 legs and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
5. My baby.
“I would tell him that I love him, he’s my world, that I would never hit him, (still flinches if I move too fast).
And to stop biting his brother and to be nice to other doggies. They are not a threat, because you are my baby.”
6. Let’s make it work!
“Devise a way to communicate after the 24 hours are up.
Especially health stuff. Teach them to point to where it hurts if it hurts.
Having a pet in pain is the worst.”
7. Time for revenge.
“I would explain to them how much I love them and how they’ve saved my life many times.
I would ask what happened to them before they came into my life. They’re both rescues and we have made HUGE progress over the last three years, but they were pretty traumatized when I adopted both of them.
We would spend the day talking about our favorite things.
I would ask for the names and addresses of the owners that abused them both.
And I would go John Wick on those motherf*ckers.”
8. A lot of questions.
“I’d have mostly questions:
“You don’t have to like your brother, but can we all agree to just coexist peacefully please”
“I understand that taking medicine is no fun, but it’s what makes you feel better, so please stop fighting me whenever I need to give you the thing. It’ll suck for a couple seconds and then it’s over”
“What is your obsession with lettuce” (asked to cat)
“Why do you hump me when I lay down on the couch, but not when I’m sitting?” (Asked to boy cat)
“Do you actually like the food I feed you?”
“Is the temperature I keep the thermostat good for you?””
9. Your three dogs.
“Pepper, you’re an amazing little dog. I’m so happy to be watching you grow up.
Please stop obsessing over the soccer ball at the dog park. I promise we can play with it whenever you want, but you can’t get possessive over it when it literally isn’t ours. And stop bugging the cat unless she starts it. You’re the best cuddler ever, though, so never stop that.
Arturia, I know the dog can be annoying, and takes up a lot of my time. But please don’t ever think I love you an inch less than I did before she came into our lives.
Please stop leaving your hairballs under the easy chair, it’s impossible to get at them. Just do it on the open floor, I don’t mind at all. Thank you for the snuggles and the yelling meows. I know I tease you but they are the cutest noise in the world.
Lump, we’ve been together for twenty-four years and you’re going to outlive me. I love you very much. Please stop pissing on me when I get you out to clean your tank. Also, while you’re smarter, let’s set up some kind of signal for when brumation is starting and ending so I don’t feel like you might have died.
I love you all, let’s get out your favorite toys and make a day of it.”
10. Life before me.
“I want him to tell me all about what his life was like before we got him.
He was a 2 year old shelter boy, so who knows. I’d also want to know how he feels about different people hes met, different music hes heard and so on. I would love to get to know him better, so I could make his life even more enjoyable.
I’d tell him that I love him, and that he needs to be a good listener. Not all of the rules are fun, but they are meant to keep him safe and healthy.”
11. Your best friend.
“I love you, so so much. You make it worthwhile for me to wake up each day and I always look forward to coming home from work because I know you will be there.
I promise to give you as many pets as you want. You always have a special spot at the corner of the bed. No, you can’t have treats instead of kibbles. Sometimes we have to go to the scary vet, but know that they are helping you.
You may have to stay there, and feel very lonely. But know that I will always be there to pick you up. I’m sorry that it’s scary, but they will make you better. Your companionship has made me a better person and I will be forever grateful.
But please, I’m begging you, stop rolling in dead things on our walks.”
“Are you in pain? Do you want to keep going?
I love you and I am happy to keep you as long as you are happy and want to stay.”
Okay, now it’s your turn!
Tell us what you’d talk to your pet about if you had 24 hours to chat with them.
We can’t wait to hear from you. Thanks!