Are you ready to take the leap into parenthood? Personally, kids aren’t my jam but sometimes I watch my friends enjoying their lives with their children and rethink things. Maybe. Yeah, not at all. But…if I did, I’d need advice on what to expect.
It’s obvious when choosing this path, sacrifices are made. You’re children are your priority over your needs. So what should a new parent know? Rather, a person exploring the possibilities of procreation?
A recent Reddit post, “Parents who regretted having kids, what do you wish you had known before?” might have some answers!
10. Pick the right partner!
Make sure your spouse will really, truly, co-parent with you.
My cousin’s husband would change her son’s diapers but not their daughter’s because “ew, that’s weird”… Figure it out before you’re like 10 years into marriage and decide it’s the right time.
9. Be ready to sacrifice everything
Kids are a sacrifice.
You sacrifice your time, your energy, (sometimes) your love for your partner, your money, your personal space, and your identity to ultimately create a contributing member of society. It’s a real shock.
8. Kids are better than entertainment
I wish I would have been more prepared for the endless stream of trick shots and questions while preparing dinner every night.
“Mom, mom, mom, watch this!” -That’s awesome sweetie “Mom, and this one, look, check it out” -Cool! “Oh yeah, mom! But this one!” -Uh huh “Mom, check it out! Your not watching! Look look!”
7. While parenting is rewarding, it’s not always hearts and flowers
I was told so many times that being a parent is so rewarding and fulfilling, but it isn’t.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids but my entire life is packed with stress and misery at their antics. They do not respect me and aren’t afraid of my attempt at discipline.
6. Parenting can shift relationships
Sometimes my husband regretted it.
He felt like he lost me in the process, as our baby took up all of my (& his) time and energy. Our baby is now a toddler, and they’ve bonded. He sees the benefits now, but if you would have asked him a year ago? He would have told you it feels like a life sentence.
5. They are a “F**K TON of work”!
For anyone now childless and is on the fence about having kids… if you have doubts, having kids is not for you.
I have 3 kids. I’ve always wanted kids. I love my kids dearly and wouldn’t change a thing… but they are a F**K TON of work and as exhausting as you could ever imagine.
Parenting sucks the life out of you.. but it’s also amazing and rewarding. IMO, you should only have them if you know for certain that you really, really want them.
4. Loss of confidence in your parenting skills hurts
I don’t regret having them, but I’m not as great at being a mum as I thought I would be.
My kids are still every bit as huge arseholes as all other kids. And I do all the lazy bad parenting things I swore I wouldn’t do.
I think I just wished I had been more realistic so I didn’t feel like such a let down.
3. Get ready for early morning wake-ups
I really didn’t think about/consider having to be UP every morning for years and years and years making lunches/early school routine.
I’m NOT a morning person and this has been a struggle… I just never thought about it while I was pregnant.
Do NOT regret having a child. I wish I had known/thought about it before.
2. Be sure to have financial footing
I don’t regret having kids but what I wish someone had told me was how much it cuts your ability to get finance from a bank (for a house purchase).
I should have thought about it, but long story short we would have been better off owning our own home for a bit before having kids.
1. Advice from this gal’s mom hits home
My mom regrets having kids!
We have talked about this and she said that she wishes she would’ve known how emotionally attached she became to my sister and I when we were born. She also wishes she knew that SHE had to be more emotionally stable and mentally healthy in order to take care of kids. This kinda sounds obvious but I think it should be pointed out!
Has this post made you change your mind about kids? I hope not! Take this real life parental advice to help manage your expectations. Talking about these things is taboo, right? But honesty is better than someone telling you how awesome parenting is without the full picture of reality.
Whew…. that was rough. Especially if you’re not a parent and are thinking about having kids right now.
Did any of these make you think? Or think twice?
We’re all ears! Let us know in the comments!