Welcome to 40’s tours! We’ll be your guide to this exciting new decade of your life, which, we remind you with horror, is actually your fifth, not your fourth.

If you’ll look on your left, you’ll see ceaseless joint pain! And be sure not to turn your head too fast as you check out what’s coming up on our right – weirdly strong opinions about local chain restaurants.

But there’s so much more to see! We’ll let Twitter take it from here.

14. Bruise and use

We can’t know. There’s just no way to know.

13. Quesadilla

In the end, it’s always about Mexican food.

12. Bright ideas

And you’re gonna be mad at all of them for it.

11. Ups and downs

That’s just how it goes.

10. That’s my jam

They know their market – no pun intended.

9. Keep the change

Dang, you got a rebate card?


You’re not gonna believe this tray, y’all.

7. High times

At least the important thing always remains.

6. Seasons greetings

To be fair, nobody under 40 has ever TRIED walking in before.

5. Risky business

Oh yeah. It’s all coming together.

4. Ever after

Yeah, it’s not gonna go away.

3. Give ’em the bird

There are worse things you could get into, I guess.

2. Stupid stuff

It takes an hour to get through all the filler on the article.

1. Well, that’s settled

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Thank you for coming on this journey with us. Careful as you exit the car, you know how your back gets.

What’s the weirdest thing about being your age?

Tell us in the comments.