Religion works for some folks and doesn’t work at all for others.
And things can sure get testy when one person in a marriage is dedicated to their religious beliefs and the other person isn’t.
And that conundrum has a woman asking if she’s wrong for not following her husband’s beliefs.
Let’s take a look.
AITA for not following my husband’s new religious beliefs?
“I (28F) and my husband (29M) met in college and have been married for 6 years. My husband was raised in a strict evangelical household but broke away from those beliefs around the time we met.
We had what I thought was a very happy marriage until my husband’s father passed away in early 2021 (he received a cancer diagnosis and was gone a few weeks later).
My husband was and is, very understandably, completely devastated – he had remained very close to his father, despite no longer following the religious beliefs of his childhood.
My husband decided to honor his father’s memory by rejoining his church. Unfortunately, it is one of those churches that forbids many things I find fun and relatively harmless and classifies them as “addictions” or “tools of Satan.”
For example, before his father’s passing my husband and I enjoyed having a glass of wine or cocktail now and then (maybe a couple times a week) and also enjoyed weed or edibles (legally) once every month or two. But after joining the church my husband decided he was an al**holic and drug addict.
He also decided that his occasional porn use (we enjoyed it together to spice things up now and then) was also an “addiction.” He is now insisting that I am also an addict because I don’t want to give all these things up.
I tried to meet him halfway – I don’t care about weed and am fine never using again, and agreed not to drink at home if my husband truly wanted to have a sober household, but said I would still want to have an occasional drink when out with friends.
I will admit I like (written) erotica, which he never thought was a problem until he became religious. He also threw away my vibrator saying it was an instrument of the Devil.
The latest is that my husband’s pastor told him video games (all games, not just M rated ones) are sinful and now my husband is insisting I have a video game addiction and need treatment. Gaming is a main hobby for me, probably around 8-10 hours a week.
It’s not an addiction in my view, just something I really enjoy! I work full-time, cook, clean, exercise, etc. I’m not neglecting anything else in my life (except respect for my husband’s new beliefs, I guess) by gaming.
My husband wants me to start going to church with him. He says he will go to couples counseling but only through his church, not to a secular counselor.
I told him that I understand he is grieving and struggling and I want to be kind and supportive, and if it really helps we can keep al**hol and weed out of the house, but I am not going to become an evangelical (unlike him, I was raised with atheist parents) and am not going to restrict myself to activities he finds acceptable under his religious beliefs.
I also asked him to please stop labeling habits he doesn’t like as “addiction.” Of course he now thinks I am an AH for being mean to him while he is grieving. Most of our family members and friends also think I should do what he asks in the name of being supportive.
Now let’s see what Reddit users think about this story.
One person said this woman is not wrong and she should NOT agree to go to counseling at her husband’s church.
Another reader agreed and said that the woman’s husband is asking way too much of her.
This person doesn’t believe this woman is an a**hole and they had a similar story about a friend of theirs.
And this Reddit user said that the woman’s husband is being unreasonable and unhealthy.
Do you think this woman is acting like a jerk?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know.
Thanks in advance!