Is This Woman Wrong for Refusing to Help Her Husband Throw a BBQ for His Friends? People Responded.

Barbeques are serious business. Especially if you’re the one hosting them.

You want the food to be great and you want everything else to be just right. I mean, you have to impress your friends and neighbors, right?

Darn right!

But what happens when you do all the work and someone gets the credit?

Read on to see what went down in this story from the “Am I The A**hole?” page on Reddit.

AITA? Husband threw a BBQ party for his friends. I refused to help. Party was a disaster.

So, my husband likes to invite his friends (note: HIS friends. I am not close with them) for barbecue parties. He prides himself on his BBQ skills. The thing is… I always end up doing everything!

He buys and preps the meat and then grills and serves it (and collects praise for his BBQ skills). I have to buy drinks, get out enough dishes, clean up the patio/deck (non native speaker, idk which one to use). I prepare the sides and veggies, I refill the drinks and take away dishes (we don’t use paper plates or plastic cups since I find it wasteful) so as to keep the main table tidy. It’s just nonstop work for me.

He just told me last week that he invited his friends for Saturday (so yesterday). Just announced it, didn’t ask me. I said well okay, do I know anyone? Nope, those are his work mates and they won’t be bringing their spouses.

My husband called it a “guys’ night”. I said okay then, guys’ night, well enjoy yourselves, I will be in my craft room working on some of my projects and drinking wine. He said he will handle it.

Spoiler alert, he did not handle it. He got the meat alright, but just ignored any other preparation and I was just so sick and tired of being taken for granted (he never -asks- me for help, I just do stuff…) so I didn’t do anything.

The patio was a mess, the upholstery of the garden furniture was all messy from our dogs, the table wasn’t wiped down, there was stuff lying all around. His friends arrived, I welcomed them and then excused myself to my crafts room, put some music on and worked. Cue the messages.

He started asking for stuff, like where are the plates (we only keep a small set in the kitchen, the rest is in the basement), where are the cups, why isn’t the beer chilled, where is the non alcoholic beer – did I not buy it? Where are the sides? I just replied that he said he would handle it all himself. (EDIT: this is also where I fee I might have been the a**hole, it would have taken me just minutes to at least tell him where the stuff is)

I checked on the guys a few hours later and it was a disaster. Table all cluttered, they ordered some takeout as sides, there weren’t enough dishes and silverware, someone had to go drive for drinks.

On Sunday (today) he was all grumpy and actually told me that he is disappointed that I didn’t pull my weight and that I made our family look sloppy and bad. I told him that I am not his little housewife and that he is a big guy and if he embarrassed himself in front of his work mates, that’s all on him.

And that I’m glad that he can see at least a tiny bit of work that I do around the house. He got upset and went for a run to let off some steam.

Oh and the patio is full of dishes, he didn’t even clean the grill. I’m not touching anything.”