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Allison Kimmey has had an awful year.

The mother of two suffered not one, but two miscarriages in the past year and she took to Instagram and Facebook to share her experience in the hopes that she can help other women who have also gone through this terrible trauma.

View this post on Instagram

This is miscarriage. It still baffles me that this is something 1 in 4 women experience, and yet it’s not something many of us know anything about. Including myself. Let’s add it to the list of things nobody tells you about until after you experience it. Yes, there’s grief and loss and devastation. But it’s also painful and messy. To me, this looks a lot like postpartum. Adult diapers, heating pads, exhaustion, releasing, healing, mourning. Because it is postpartum. And although we don’t get to experience the benefit of having a little one to bring home, our bodies have still done miraculous and very hard things. I know this is a sensitive subject, and that’s why I want to talk about it. I’ll be sharing a very candid retelling of my experience this week, because I want more women to be seen through this process. And I want women to have access to REAL LIFE stories, not just vague medical definitions saying you might be a little uncomfortable and wear a pad. This is natural. It is not your fault. And you don’t need to feel ashamed. I hope this helps someone find comfort that they are not alone. Just do you babes Xoxo Allie

A post shared by ALLIE 🌸 Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on

Her Instagram post reads:

“This is miscarriage.

It still baffles me that this is something 1 in 4 women experience, and yet it’s not something many of us know anything about. Including myself.

Let’s add it to the list of things nobody tells you about until after you experience it. Yes, there’s grief and loss and devastation. But it’s also painful and messy.

To me, this looks a lot like postpartum. Adult diapers, heating pads, exhaustion, releasing, healing, mourning.

Because it is postpartum. And although we don’t get to experience the benefit of having a little one to bring home, our bodies have still done miraculous and very hard things.

I know this is a sensitive subject, and that’s why I want to talk about it. I’ll be sharing a very candid retelling of my experience this week, because I want more women to be seen through this process. And I want women to have access to REAL LIFE stories, not just vague medical definitions saying you might be a little uncomfortable and wear a pad.

This is natural. It is not your fault. And you don’t need to feel ashamed. I hope this helps someone find comfort that they are not alone. Just do you babes.

Xoxo
Allie”

Kimmey is an author and a self-love educator who wants women to know they are not alone when they suffer like she did.

View this post on Instagram

At the risk of sounding selfish, I just want to get this off my chest: I feel sad when I find out that my friends are pregnant. There, I said it. I don’t really like that I feel this way. And it certainly doesn’t mean that I am not happy FOR THEM. But in the same moment I am congratulating their amazing news, I am feeling sad that I do not have the same news to share. And then I feel terrible, because I don’t know what their journey has been and every person should be able to celebrate their good news. I know what it’s like to have your joy silenced as my former boss asked me to not talk about my pregnancy while I was expecting with Graham because one of my coworkers had a long journey with infertility. So I get it. But I also kind of get that now too. I can’t imagine the pain that woman felt when a bouncing 24 year old popped in pregnant after 1 month of trying, and there she sat years into a journey with nothing to show for it but loss. And then of course I think to myself, Allie, you have two amazingly beautiful children, some people don’t and won’t ever have that, isn’t that enough? But the bottom line is this: no matter what path you have taken to experience a pregnancy or infant loss…it sucks. Infertility sucks. Miscarriage sucks. Loss sucks. Watching other people around you celebrate while you’re still unsure of what your path will look like, sucks. I am not looking for someone to tell me it will all be okay, I know that it will because my faith tells me so. But I just wanted to say it out loud. Because I know that if I am struggling with these feelings, someone else might be too. I just wanted to tell anyone in the thick of miscarriage or loss, it’s okay to have these feelings. It’s okay to wish things turned out differently. But I ask that you have grace for yourself in these moments, and for the women that don’t share your same story. And to look for the light in others when you are too tired to be the light. You will make it through. This story, this valley, it is maturing you and preparing you for whatever is coming next. And I promise, the best is yet to come. Just do you babes Xoxo Allie #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth

A post shared by ALLIE 🌸 Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on

Allison told Scary Mommy,

“Honestly, the only thing I want women to know during their own time of loss is that they are not alone and it is not their fault. I hope by being vulnerable myself that someone else can heal their own wounds.”

Thank you Allison. Everybody could use a reminder about how painful these situations are.