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This will be interesting…because today we’re talking about gender and double standards.
Or at least Reddit is, following this question.
What is a double standard that is seen positively when women do it but negatively when men do it?
byu/Real_loser23 inAskReddit
So, what do we see as a problem in this area? And how many of these stand up to scrutiny? Let’s have a look at some opinions.
1. Talking about kids
When someone posts pictures of their kid daughter / niece / granddaughter on Facebook, all the comments are from women only.
“She’s so beautiful” “What a cutie” “ohhh I love her hair”
Not one comment from men, because you know. Inappropriate.
I haven’t even commented on my sisters’ pictures because I’m an uncle. And we all know the uncle, from newspapers, is the obvious candidate to be a predator.
– goodworkingorder
2. Kids in public
Taking young children out in public.
Sometimes I have to babysit my little cousins and I sometimes take them out for ice cream or a movie as any fun caregiver would do.
If you’re a male, people will give you nasty looks and act suspicious and gossip out loud about the “p**ophile”.
– Flingsquidz
3. The list
Mental health issues.
Body and self esteem issues.
Eating disorders.
S**ual assault occurrences.
Crying.
Physical affection involving members of the same gender (a hug doesn’t make you gay).
Giving them flowers.
There’s more I’m sure
– mightypint
4. Division of labor
“That’s an job” when something they don’t want to do needs to be done.
If a man suggests something is a “woman’s job” he is vilified but if a woman says something needs to be sorted out by the man that’s fine.
– Nuffsaid98
5. Physical intimacy
Girls at my school tend to be able to platonically be physically close to each other, and it’s no problem.
A guy does it outside of specific times (fighting in sports), and it’s suuuuper uncool, and generally looked at as gay.
Given, I’m bi, but I’m super fortunate that I have both boys and girls who I’m able to physically close like that.
– EvilNoobHacker
6. Uncomfortable perseverance
Continuing to hit on someone when they clearly don’t want it.
People will take issue with women who go really far too far, but they get a lot more leeway before it’s seen as s**ual harassment
– unclear_warfare
7. Personal grooming
Owning/using lotions, facial cleansers, hair wax, and other personal products of that sort.
I’ve had girls snoop around my bathroom and audibly laugh because I wax. I’ve had girls presume the lotion is for masturbating and not because I get dry skin in some places. One girl literally asked me if I had tampons to go with my face wash because it smelled like mint, saffron and orange.
God forbid I want to look and smell nice.
– TheTrueGoldenboy
8. Owning cats
Sure if a woman owns a bunch of cats she may get the “crazy cat lady” stigma but I’ve had friends (early 20s) say they wouldn’t date a man who owned/loved cats.
So weird to me.
It’s just another animal to love and hold, I am not a cat person myself but I understand they’re cute and cuddly when they want to be.
And much easier to house in apartments at our age compared to dogs.
– shelly5825
9. Dating standards
The numerous dating double standards.
So f**kin many man, that girls on social media flex or brag about like it’s normal or okay that they have bad traits.
It’s so annoying to see and get grouped with them.
– Grandma_Igabella
10. Mental health
Guys are supposed to be strong and crush down their feelings at least that’s what I was always taught/forced to understand from multiple sources.
I don’t have anyone to talk to about it because no one wants to hear it.
Everyone wants to tell me their problems but, no one wants to hear mine. It wears on you… hard.
– Daenub
11. When a child needs help
A few years ago a 14/15 year old girl who lived over the road from us, knocked on our door. She was scared as she had just got home, in the dark and her brother was supposed to be home but was out. She thought there was someone else in her house as she could hear banging and shouting. So I went over, she let me in and I hollered and made a load of noise. She asked if we could check up stairs, in her bedroom, so I ran up the stairs with her behind me.
A little bead of cold sweat trickled down my back as my brain cell came into alignment.
What the f**k am I doing – I am in a girls bedroom, alone with her, it’s late and dark and I don’t know her – while my wife is over the road. So I asked her to leave and go sit with my wife while I searched the house. Everything was fine, the house was empty and the girl was grateful. Her Dad even came to thank me the next day and mentioned that it might have been awkward.
I just h**e that I had to think that way and that when a child needed help I had to concern myself with “what other people might think”
– barriedalenick
12. Child care
When my son was little, I was a parent, but my husband, if I left him alone with the child he helped create, he was “babysitting” (according to anyone who asked me where my son was).
Also, I always got comments like, “Oh, your house is going to be a mess when you get home! Did you tell him what to feed him?”
– BlackWidow1414
13. Underage relationships
I know it’s been said before but the double standard for female p**os is insane.
While men are condemned and ostracized (rightfully so I should add) the women p**os get a slap on the wrist and the boys they a**sed are congratulated and even seen as weak or un-masculine for speaking up.
Imagine if a male teacher r**ed female student and someone told a girl that they were lucky and “weren’t being a real woman” the internet would explode
– Absted_reborn
14. Body shaming
It’s frowned upon men to call women fat, but women always make jokes about our bodies (small dick energy etc.).
Not saying we should be allowed to body shame, but that a lot of women do it even tho men get socially executed when we do it
– Nugns
15. Hitting
I find it pretty dumb that it’s totally fine for girls to hit/slap/punch whether joking or not, physical a**ault is totally fine and no one thinks anything of it because often times “the guy can handle it if it gets out of control” but if the guy were to handle it, he’d be charged with a**ault and lose his job and friends.
– MurderousVegetable
16. Kid stuff
Anything kids related.
I actually like kids and think it’s fun to play with them within the given social boundaries.
I often go out of my way to avoid interacting with them though, not to be seen as a p**ophile or a kidnapper.
– crookedhope
17. Spa days
As a teenager, I went to a nail salon with my dad and convinced him to get a mani pedi with me.
It was like they never saw a man get their nails done.
He didn’t get polish or anything and they still looked and treated him weird. (The other customers and the ladies doing our nails.)
never went back to that place again
– Raid100
18. Eating disorders
overcoming eating disorders.
i am a woman but ive noticed so many men in my life that struggle with their body image and disordered eating and they’re way less likely to get help for it
– throwawaypsychnurse
19. Not working
I’ve heard stories of women who were happy to work and made plenty of money for the both of them while the dad stayed home to take care of the kids.
However, it seems like the dad is always chewed out for not working. And add more weird things to it, some of the times women are also chewed out FOR working while other women make huge deals out of working.
So I guess yeah, going against the standard male lead family.
– Questionable-Duck4
20. Just hangin’ out
When a guy wants to go out and hang with his buddies, but his gf/wife says no, everybody understands and deals with it.
But when a girl wants to go out and hang with her friends, and her bf/husband says no, everybody gets concerned.
– Dr-Jiggles
21. The work balance
Being in female dominated professions like pre-school/kindergarten teachers, nannies, nurses, nail technicians, etc…
People treat men in these professions like they’re either gay, a pervert, or a p**ophile and it’s not cool.
– SquilliamFancySon95
22. Being squeamish
If a girl doesn’t want to do something because they think it is gross, someone feels obliged to do it for them.
A man doesn’t want to do something because they find it gross, “Man up.”
Quote directly from my OWN MOTHER when I couldn’t pick up cat s**t because I felt I would throw up.
– Pizzaboy90
23. Butt pats?
You guys seen that clip where a girl jumped into a male Soccer game and touch all the players butts and all she got was a slap on the wrist?
If a guy did that to a Female game then the internet would go off like a nuclear bomb and he would be labeled a r**ist.
– NateW08
24. Then there’s…this…
This is extremely specific but a TikTok creator made a video where she was in the passenger seat of a car and her teenage son was in another car. They driver pulled up next to him, mom’s pants off, and mom mooned the kid.
Her son was not amused. “Your vagina was out.”
Someone in the comments said “Imagine the rage if a man did that to his daughter.”
The mom’s response? “F**k off. This is just who are family is!”
Hey, that commenter wasn’t wrong. People would have gone bananas over a teenage girl being grossed out and saying “Dad, your b**ls were out.”
– EatingTurkey
25. Better watch out
I saw on Instagram this girl run up to jack harlow (young rapper) whilst he was leaving some place.
His security guard pushed her off him but my immediate thought was, if this was a guy running up to give a female celeb and unwanted hug he’d get a lot of backlash
– hahahahahalmao
26. Dance
The blatant s**ism of the dance world.
My son (12) was into dance until last year. We live near a decent dance studio with a competition team.
One year, my son and another boy were assigned to a competition dance with over a dozen girls. The boys were an integral part of that team, but to hear the moms of the girls talk, they didn’t exist.
We’d go to a competition and the next day, you’d see the moms of the girls on the team post a picture of the whole team and make a comment like “So proud of our girls!”. They shout these things during the performance sometimes, “Go girls!”. They’re not intending to be mean or exclusionary, they’re just not used to having to scrutinize their behavior.
I just think back to all the times I played rec sports as a kid when there would be 1 or 2 girls on the team. If a parent cheering in the stands had ever said, “Good job, boys!”, that would have been considered unacceptable behavior back then.
This is just an example. The whole dance enterprise is biased against boys in tons of ways.
– Droidatopia
27. Socializing
Socialising in general…
Me and my gf moved countries recently and she has a much easier time approaching and making friends with strangers at gigs, pubs etc then me.
I feel like I’m treated with suspicion, like I have ulterior motives.
– EdgeHarvest
28. A**se
Domestic a**se being played for comedy.
You can show a wife slapping her husband or hitting him with a frying pan in a tv show and it’s funny. If the husband does it, no one laughs.
A great example is the movie “My Super Ex-Girlfriend”. Gender swap that movie and it goes from comedy to horror.
– shadowrangerfs
29. Showing your emotions
If a woman is angry, she’s strong, if a man is angry, he’s aggressive and probably a**sive. If a woman is sad or crying, she is justified in this reaction, I a man cries he needs to man up and is seen as weak
After our daughter was born, my wife was treated for post natal depression, but I struggled to get anyone to believe that I needed help. People told me that men can’t have PND, as if depression is not for men.
– RepresentativeOdd909
30. Body preferences
when girls can say “i only date tall guys” but if a guy says he has a preference on who he dates he’s being “misogynistic” “body shaming” “a pig”
– thatswhat_shesaid1
A bit of food for thought there.
But what do you think of all these?
Give us your opinions in the comments.
