Whether you are walking through the mall, sitting on a park bench or waiting in line to order up a fast-food burger, people watching might be more entertaining than scrolling through your Facebook news feed.
A Reddit user asked the question, “What’s the funniest thing that a random stranger said to you that made you die laughing inside?”
Many people answered the call and shared their best people-watching moments.
These are the choicest stories…
10. A funny trip to hell
Okay, the laughter was not entirely inside, but years ago on the subway in NY, a crazy dude walks on the train and screams at everyone “You’re all going to hell!” and then steps off as the doors close.
Total silence as the weirdness of the moment settles in.
Then, without missing a beat, guy across from me goes, “S**t, I thought this train was going to Harlem.”
Entire subway car of cynical New Yorkers bursts out laughing.
9. This song will never die
I was in the drive thru of a Wendy’s one time.
An employee exited the building with his headphones on and was singing Who Let The Dogs Out at the top of his lungs. He saw me, stopped singing, and started walking away.
A few seconds later he come up to my window and said, “yes, that is what I’m listening to.”
Then he walked away.
I laughed so hard at the whole situation.
8. Everyone has a little Jim Carrey in them
Movie just ended, me and my dad join the mad rush to to the bathrooms, urinals are packed, its our turn we doing our business, suddenly someone rips a hugggge fart, lol its pretty funny but we all have manners, still peeing, suddenly this dude proclaims, “IT WAS MEEEEE” and runs out the door.
Whole bathroom erupts in laughter.
7. Grandpa Jokes
I must’ve been about 10 or 11.
I sat down on a bench next to an old guy to sort my shoe out. I took my shoe off and he just turns to me and says “are they golfing socks?”
I look at him with a completely blank look on my face thinking “wtf??” as I looked away he just said “there’s a hole in one”
6. What did she just say?!
This reminds me of the time I asked for directions in south Georgia and it went like this:
Her: Go down there and take a left
Her: Then go pass the gas station
Her: Then yawn yawn
Us: Yawn yawn?
Her: Yeah. Then yawn yawn.
Took us forever to realize she was saying “then you’re on your own.”
5. Practice safe…um…s*x?
“The time I was waiting for takeout and the amputee owner struck up a convo.
My friend, you have to be really careful if you ever get shot in the knee or any leg bone.
They don’t warn you that you can’t have s*x for months.
One night you’re taking home a beautiful girl to show her your scars and the next morning your leg’s gone.”
4. When you have to go…
“The college I attend frequently has local elementary and middle school kids on tours, especially on Fridays. One particular Friday I was in line for the cafeteria when a group of kids came walking by with a tour guide. One kinda chubby little dude looked a bit uncomfortable. He was biting his lip a little, and sweating. This part of the tour is usually when they have a bathroom break, and clearly buddy needed to go. At this point I should note that the bathrooms are visible from where we’re standing.
But the tour guide, a fellow student of mine, didn’t seem to notice. She just kept going on and on, talking about the history of the building. I watched this kid go from nervous, to deeply anxious, to visibly clenching over a span of about 3 minutes. He’s staring at the stick figure dude on the men’s bathroom sign as if it was the risen Christ.
Ms. Tour Guide takes a break in her spiel. I figure she’s done, the next words out of her mouth will be ones to free this boy from the purgatory that is having to use the bathroom on a school trip. It’ll be over. He’ll be free.
What followed, instead, was this.
“So in 1995, a professor named A.B.C. Kalamazoo-”
“Move lady, I’m gonna s**t my a**!”
He ran past her to the bathroom, and presumably destroyed it.
Poor guy. Had the entire line in tears with laughter though.”
3. Asparagus Vape
“Worked at a smoke shop that sold electronic cigarettes years ago.
A customer came in complaining that the new flavor made her pee smell funny.
I couldn’t keep a straight face when I said I wasn’t sure if that was related.
Then she says, “Oh, well it could be an STD or something I guess…Thanks!” and walked out.”
2. Kids say the darnedest things
“Something I overheard as two kids walked past our caravan park site:
A rumbling boom of distant thunder.
Kid 1: “I like thunder. It sounds like a 200 year old dog who’s retired and helps old people who are blind to get around.”
Kid 2: (silence)
Kid 1: “You know?”
Kid 2: “But why is it retired?”
Kid 1: “Because it’s old.”
Kid 2: “But it’s still helping blind people.”
Kid 1: (silence)”
1. Just a Parent and Their Dog
“I was at a gas station filling my truck with gas and overheard a guy yelling at his dog to move over in the car so his wife could get in it went like this
Man to dog “come on get in the middle so mommy can get in”
Dog starts yipping back at him as if she’s arguing
Man to dog “quit arguing me i told you to get in the middle you don’t always get your way”
Dog again yipping back at him
Man to dog “if i have to tell you again your not getting your jerky” holds up a stick of beef jerky
Dog yipping while reluctantly moving to the middle
Man to dog “ok promise no more arguing me and you’ll be a good girl”
Dog yipping again
Man to dog “ok seal it with a kiss” dog gives man kiss”
There you have it! People watching and eavesdropping is better than what’s on your phone!
Do you have a story like this? Share yours in the comments!