I personally do not have any children, but I do think there are cons to living a childless life.
For example, I’ll never be able to teach a son or a daughter to throw a ball, ride a bike, or any of those other milestone moments.
And that’s a bit depressing to think about sometimes.
What do you think are the cons of not having kids?
AskReddit users shared their thoughts.
“People assume you don’t like kids.
I LOVE kids and am honorary cool aunt to several.
Things just didn’t work out for me to have my own (didn’t meet spouse till older, went thru traumatic life events during post marriage childbearing years, etc.)”
A lot of people assume if you don’t have kids, you don’t like them, don’t want anything to do with them, and know nothing about them.
I was the oldest of many kids and helped raise them. I understand what kids are like. I can entertain them and like to play games with them. I can feed and change babies. I can rock them to sleep.
I understand they’re likely to destroy things and make messes, whether intentionally or not. I have a box of toys and bubbles at my house in case of small visitors. I GET that I will never understand what it’s like to have a child, but I like to think I’m pretty accommodating.
And yet many friends distance themselves because they don’t want to bring their children to my house in fear of them ‘wrecking ‘ it (note: I’m not a fancy person and don’t care anyway), and don’t want me to see theirs because it’s wrecked.
They don’t want to go out because it will be ‘too stressful’. When we finally do get together, I listen to their stories, but rarely get asked about my life because they’re so consumed with parenting that’s all they can focus on.
It’s hard to watch those friendships slip away, despite my best efforts.”
“When you’re someone who doesn’t have kids because of infertility and health reasons, people feel like they can interview you about your private medical information.”
Friends go away.
“You can lose friends.
As you get older your friends who aren’t childfree will start getting married and having kids. They’ll still love you, they’ll still like you, they’ll still try to keep in touch…. but their life will be very different from yours.
Their priorities will change and you will inevitably be bumped down the list. You could start resenting them for not being present for you like they used to be. They could start drifting from you because they feel you don’t understand their life and struggles anymore.
Now I’m not saying a friendship can’t survive a difference that big… but a lot of them don’t.
And to be clear, you shouldn’t have kids just to keep friends. It’s possible to make new friends. It’s also possible to renew old friendships once the kids get older and your friends are more willing to be away from them.
It’s just hard those first few years when their life has changed so much and yours has not.”
When’s it gonna happen?
“Being asked when you’re having kids.
I got so sick of that question and it was a regular one. It mostly came to a stop when my brother got married and had a kid. It started back up after his divorce.
I was going somewhere with my mother when she brought up how disappointed she’ll only have one grandchild. I very bluntly told her I don’t like kids, don’t want kids, don’t date people with kids, don’t date people that want kids, and even if I were to entertain the idea of kids I’m too old for that shit now.
The topic hasn’t been raised since.”
“As a 30 year old without kids…my family only seems to want to make plans with the siblings that does have kids.
Because I have no grandchildren to provide, I am left out.”
“I chose not to have kids and honestly I’d say this is the biggest “con” to me. Making friends as an adult without kids is nearly impossible.
You don’t meet people through school functions, etc. Plus the people you do meet usually have kids, and so schedules do not line up, you don’t have as much in common, people you like with kids are often very busy (understandably, of course) and are much harder to make plans with.”
What will happen?
“I’m a little worried about needing help later in life.
But I also know a lot of older people who won’t ask for help because they don’t want to be a burden to their kids.”
Not super motivated.
“Here’s a real con: I’m only motivated to make myself and my wife happy. I could see being more motivated with a kid.
I also still have a young mindset, so it’d be nice to share learning new things with a kid, but I might not have this mindset if I had a kid. Or the kid might not share my interests.
Ultimately, super happy eating out, traveling, not stressing about money, etc etc.”
“You’ll be missing out on a special kind of love, joy and pride without them. But it’s a responsibility that isn’t for everyone.
So if you have any reservations about becoming a parent go with your gut feeling. You will find fulfillment in your life in other ways!”
What do you think?
Let us know in the comments.
Thanks a lot!