It isn’t everyday we meet somebody new, so when we actually come in contact with a potential new friend… first impressions are actually quite important.
That’s why I’m kind of obsessed with this Ask Reddit thread… because there’s SOOOO much great advice in here for people who want to get somebody to like them almost immediately!
Check it out!
1. Guys, read this!
If you heard something about be from mutual friends, ask me something about what you heard. If you don’t, ask me a question about something I’ve said and actually be interested in the answer.
Don’t ask what I do for work or where I live or what I think of this weather or how my flight was. If we’re drinking beers, ask me about my favorite beer, or how I got into beer. If we’re going to a show, ask me about how I feel about the band or how I got into them or if I dance at shows. If we’re standing around at a party, ask me about my hair or my cool shoes or something else that interests you.
That’s how we have a real conversation about something mutually interesting.
If you have nothing interesting to ask me about, maybe offer something interesting about yourself, or something relevant to the context of where we are and what we’re doing. It can be as simple as, “I hear you bike commute. Is that hard?” Then I can talk about that, and then ask you if you bike, and you can tell me that you never learned since that time your dad thought you were ready to not have training wheels and you weren’t, but you do skateboard, and I can ask you about that, then we’re actually having a conversation about something interesting instead of “yeah, it’s supposed to be hot all week.” It’s almost like the improv rule of “yes, and.”
Offer your conversational partner openings, and take the openings you get to build and keep the volley going.
As a woman, so many men ask boring generic questions about me, don’t listen to the answer, and then go on at length about themselves. That’s not a conversation, it’s a monologue, and it’s all surface level. Back and forth, give and take, and sharing beyond the surface level of pleasantries is what makes talking to other human beings cool, but so few people do it well.
2. Listening is key…
I had a client tell me she really likes me bc you can tell i genuinely listen to everything she’s saying and give an honest, thought out response.
My business with said client ended back in February and she moved 800 miles away but she still texts and calls periodically to catch up with my family.
3. Obscurity is the key
Im not one for first impressions making that much of an impact but a good spirited joke or obscure fandom reference, paired with a good vibe is a GREAT start.
My opinion can and probably will change as we get to know each other because, again, for me personally first impressions mean jack shit unless the first impression was REALLY bad.
Like “meeting you because you set my car on fire” bad or “screamed a slur in a crowd” bad.
4. Oh, you like it rough, eh?
If someone can jokingly give me a hard time (obviously not in a mean spirited way), then I automatically like them.
Sarcastic bullying is my love language.
5. Just be genuine!
When they show a genuine interest in getting to know you.
Seems like a lot of people have this wall or facade when you first meet, so just being someone who is open to connecting in an open way would be a breathe of fresh air for me and I’d like them pretty quick since this is so rare.
6. Masks off pls!
Honestly if they just relax and only talk to me about something they genuinely like or wanna know.
I dont like the little “mask” we put on around each other and love when they just be themselves with me immediately.
7. Participation trophy
Share something interesting/fun they’ve recently participated in or something they’re passionate about, it makes me feel like they want to share an aspect of their life with me which builds trust and makes me want to share as well!
8. Superpowers to connect
Say something funny.
FWIW I’m a big old teddy bear and I pretty much like everyone right away. If I don’t, there is usually a good reason. Sometimes I don’t know what it is right off the bat, but eventually I find out. And the universe makes sense again.
Once I figured out that was my superpower, I harnessed it as a force for good.
9. But how will we know what you like??
Engage me in a conversation about something I like.
As an introvert and person with social anxiety I don’t usually bring up topics to talk about. But if you say something about Harry Potter, South Park, cats, same music I listen to… I take that as sign you care about me a little and what I have to say.
Acknowledging me and being generally nice makes me feel happier and that I matter since generally I feel ignored most of the time.
10. No complaining please.
A genuine smile and not complaining.
Soooo many people start a conversation by complaining about some aspect of their life that’s just no way to live.
11. This is hilarious!
Tap each of your shoulders twice, nod your head, turn around clockwise, look back at them over your left shoulder and say “I’ve got the magic”.
It takes practice, but if done correctly it will get you anyone with a beating heart.
Hope this helps.
12. Is this person a professional?
This ability is innate to some people. After being in contact with some individuals like those, few points that I have picked up are as follows
- Start helping those close to you, regardless of how irritating the chore is, e.g if your sister asks you to help with her homework or if you mother asks you to take out the garbage, etc just start doing these small things, and make yourself available to others selflessly. This help creates the persona of a caring and cheerlifting attitude within oneself.
- Try to handle tough situations with a hint of humour.
- Let others tell you their circumstances, we never know when one might be in need of a sympathetic ear.
- Time and again remind others that you were thinking about them, and that you are praying for them.
- Try to downplay an otherwise difficult problem, so as to give others a peace of mind.
In my opinion you can’t improvise something, that will become reason for someone’s affection, rather start by improving small things in life, and eventually you will become a source of positivity, which everyone can feel just by sitting with you.
13. Shy guys
If they’re shy, I think I’d feel comfortable with them. I’m very awkward and shy in real life, but when I see someone who is shyer than me I let my guard down and become more talkative.
I’m too scared to order shit, but if I see someone struggling to order as well I become a mom and do it for them.
It’s weird, but they just make me comfortable and more confident.
14. Could it be that simple?!
Give me pizza.
I’m a simple man.
15. Familiarity could work.
Talk to me like we’ve known each other for years.
Had a guy who did this in a weekend camp and everyone thought we’ve known each other from before the camp.
Didn’t even introduce ourselves to each other and the camp ended without both of us not knowing the other’s name.
This means so much to me bc I have very bad social anxiety and Im trying my best to seem “normal” around people, especially clients.
Now that we’ve established all of that… do you have any strategies that work? Let us know in the comments!