Sometimes, people just have to get a dose of harsh reality.
Even if it’s gonna hurt and even if it’s from their parents.
Check out this story and see if you think this mother was wrong for begging her own daughter not to have any more kids.
AITA for begging my daughter not to have any more children?
“I (58F) and my husband, Rob (61M) have 2 kids Erica (35F) and Mike (30M). Both kids are married but Erica and her husband Steve (38M) live nearby to us and this issue concerns them.
They work full-time and have 2 kids (5M & 4F). 5 years ago my daughter asked my husband and me if we would be willing to become their full-time childcare so she could continue to work and afford their comfortable life.
We agreed, but we didn’t discuss much more than watching the baby and their expectations. I was a teacher and retired 2 years before I could take my pension so my husband continued to work and we made a few sacrifices like vacations and adding to our savings but we were able to make it work so I could take my full pension at 55 and my husband retired a year later.
Our arrangement worked and we enjoyed having the kids except by year 3 (2020) we started to feel like they were taking advantage of our help. In 2020 during the lockdown, they were both working from home, they expected us to keep the kids all day, and we wanted to split time week since their preschool/daycare was closed. we settled on 2 with them and 3 with us and my SIL complained about it pretty much every day. Things got better when the kids were able to school.
Fast forward to year 4 (2021) we have a bit of a blowup over kindergarten. My daughter did not want 5M to start school in the unknown but I insisted that he needed to go because I needed the break. I also asked for 4F to spend more time at the preschool/daycare program, SIL complained about the cost but I pushed anyway.
They relented and then this past spring SIL pushed for us to take the kids for a week so they could go on a vacation, we said they had to take the kids and he said: “they couldn’t afford it.” No one went on vacation.
Maybe that is too much background but I feel like the context is important for what I said. My daughter and I were casually having a conversation the other day and she mentioned she had an OBGYN appointment and tests. I asked if everything was okay and she said Steve and her were trying for baby #3.
I asked her what her childcare plan was and she looked at me like I was crazy and said us! I said that it would have been nice if she told me this before trying for another baby, she said it is none of my business, I said it is if I’m providing 5 more years of babysitting! I then told her that we were not a viable childcare option for a new baby and begged her to reconsider.
4F is going off to kindergarten, we feel like we are getting our days back to some extent and refuse to start all over again with an infant. Erica said we are making her choose between her dream of 3 kids and financial stability. I argued that she has two beautiful children and they are financially stable, they shouldn’t ruin that with another baby.
I might be TA because Erica feels like we should have told her sooner, I feel like I am not because I never agreed to a lifetime of raising their kids.”
Take a look at how people on Reddit reacted to this story.
This person said this woman is NTA and that her daughter sounds unprepared to have children at all.
And this Reddit user made a good point about how much work the grandparents already put in.
This individual said she’s NTA and that her daughter needs to be thinking about childcare if she wants to have another kid.
Now it’s your turn.
Talk to us in the comments and let us know what you think.
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