Being psychoanalyzed by someone who IS NOT a mental health professional can be exhausting…
And it can also be pretty RUDE.
And that brings us to today’s story!
Was this woman wrong for what she said to her stepsister about her need to psychoanalyze people?
Check out her story and see what you think.
AITA for telling my stepsister we are all bored of her psychoanalyzing us?
“I (30F) have a stepsister called Bella, also 30. Her dad and my mum got together when we were 16.Bella was very upset about her parents’ divorce and was very hostile to my mother so obviously, she and I weren’t going to be on the best of terms, and as we got older we just didn’t bond. I always got along well with her two brothers, Jake and Max, and we’re still close.
Over the last year, Bella has been reading a lot about psychology and is always bringing up what she thinks everyone else’s issues are. She will send articles about narcissistic parents, golden children, scapegoats, triangulation, etc. to our family group chat with messages like “@(sibling) this is you” or “isn’t this like Mum” (their bio mum).
Jake, Max, and my stepdad all say it annoys them that all she wants to talk about it the past. She is like this in person, too. No matter how many times we smile and nod and sometimes even say we are not interested in armchair therapy from her, she just says she has a right to express her feelings and she’s trying to start a dialogue.
Part of her whole thing is deciding that her dad basically replaced her with me because she reminds him of her mother, and that because he loves my mum and never loved hers, I am his favourite/golden child.
This all came to a head over Christmas, when Bella noticed the family photos my parents had on a shelf in their dining room. She asked where the picture of her and her dad at her graduation was, and he said they’d moved it to make room for a picture of me and him and my mum at my wedding, and her graduation photo was now in the lounge.
Bella scoffed and sneered ‘of course’. Over lunch, I was talking about a photoshoot I was working on, and Bella chimed in about how our parents will probably replace more photos of her with ones from my photoshoot.
I told her this makes no sense because the photos aren’t even going to be of me, and she just said it didn’t matter, she was invisible when I was around and that I took her place in everyone’s life – her dad’s, her brothers’, even my husband.
At this point I just snapped and said that that was an absurd accusation when she makes every family conversation about herself, and while we all appreciate she is deeply hurt by a lot of things, we’re all sick of being psychoanalysed.
I said that her obsession with me was ridiculous, because the only person I’ve ever head compare us is her, and that she needs to find someone qualified and appropriate to discuss these hurt feelings with and stop suffocating us all with her feelings because we’re all bored.
Jake just started laughing and Max shouted ‘thank God someone said it’, but Bella burst into tears and left the table. She went home early and has since removed herself from the group chat and isn’t talking to her dad or brothers.
While I stand by the points I made, I didn’t mean to isolate her from her family, so I’m starting to wonder if I’m the AH.”
Here’s what Reddit users had to say.
One person said this woman is NTA and she needs to stop reading psychology journals and go see a professional.
And this individual made a good point about what she’s actually reading…
And this Reddit user said she needs to GET A LIFE.
What do you think?
Let us know in the comments.
We’d love to hear from you!