Hey, there! Yeah, you!
What do you say you push aside your work, ignore your kids, and take a little time for yourself to enjoy some hilarious AND totally accurate tweets about being hitched?
You know you want it, you know you need it, and we’re here to help you blow off a little bit of steam…because you look like you’re about to explode! And nobody wants that…
So take our advice on this one and let yourself laugh a little bit.
1. Here we go again…
Just agree with her…
Me: I cleaned under the fridge and there were a bunch of Honey Nut Cheerios
Wife: How do you know they weren’t regular Cheerios???
Me: *drinks water*
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) January 9, 2021
2. Not so funny anymore…
Why the change of heart?
My husband said I’m funny when I’m mad, and when I got madder, he ironically did not find me funnier.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 8, 2021
3. Yeah, I wonder what it could be…
It adds up!
Wife: I feel like at the beginning of the pandemic we were saving a lot of money not going to restaurants but now not so much.
Me: (clicking accept on $27 worth of food delivery fees) Yeah, that’s weird.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 31, 2020
4. That’s why you MUST get married.
This is a very good point.
But if you don't get married who tells you everything you enjoy is stupid
— 🇺🇸E.🇺🇸 (@YourMomsucksTho) January 3, 2021
5. Way to encourage him.
He’ll do better next time.
Husband: I almost ate an entire pan of Rice Krispies treats.
Me: Almost? Quitter.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) January 11, 2021
6. Well, isn’t that nice?!?!
After all these years…
My wife: Who is this person that liked all your photos?
Me: Oh, that’s my AP history teacher from high school. She’s very supportive.
— lucy bexley 🛼🪐🦔 (@bexley_lucy) January 1, 2021
7. You blew it. Big time.
She won’t let you forget this.
Me [opening laptop]: What's our computer password?
Wife: Our anniversary date.
Wife: You have no idea, do you?
Me [closing laptop]: Yes of course I just don't want to use the computer anymore.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 6, 2021
8. That makes perfect sense.
Go on wit yo bad self!
My husband and I are respectively 38 and 36 year old, childless adults. Our guest bedroom is now space dinosaur themed. pic.twitter.com/RNRiseJdZf
— Black Lives Matter Betty (@EzMacArt) December 30, 2020
9. A good way to pass the time.
There’s not much else to do right now…
Husband and I like to take the dog for walks through a very expensive neighborhood nearby so we can pretend we live there and imagine conversations with our neighbors. “We happened to make too much gold today. Do you guys want some? Otherwise we’ll just have to throw it out.”
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) January 4, 2021
10. I enjoy annoying my wife!
How about you?
So are you a clean-as-you-go cook or do you enjoy annoying your wife?
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 29, 2020
11. A fight to the death.
It’s like a grudge match…
“Strike first, strike hard, no mercy,” I tell myself as I race my husband to the kitchen for the last cup of coffee.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) January 5, 2021
12. I mean, who doesn’t do this?
If anyone says they don’t do this, they’re lying!
My husband and I usually spend Friday nights in bed eating pizza and criticizing other couples on television.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) January 8, 2021
How about you?
How are things in your household right now?
Is your spouse driving you up the wall or is everything A-OK? Are you about to blow up, or are you just taking things calmly as they come?
Spill your guts to us in the comments, friends!