Don’t you love adding more jokes to your arsenal?
It makes you more well-rounded and it definitely helps you to impress friends, family members, neighbors, and co-workers.
Hey, if you want to impress people, you have to keep things fresh.
So are you ready to learn some new jokes?
Let’s get funny with AskReddit users!
1. The name game.
“If I’m gonna be Frank, I’d have to change my name.”
“Why are kleptomaniacs terrible with puns?
They’re always taking everything, literally.”
3. Didn’t see that coming.
“What’s about a foot long, and slippery?
4. Too soon?
“What you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
5. Amuse yourself.
“Anytime I’m out with anyone and we get something to drink, I like to hand out the straws and upon giving the last straw (or if it’s me and one other person, I’ll take the first straw, then hand them the last one) say, “that’s it! This is the last straw!”
Always gets a laugh. Usually the laugh is only from me, but that’s besides the point.”
6. I got it!
“Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One turns to the other and says, “Does this taste funny to you?””
7. Pretty clever.
“A man walks into a cafe and orders a coffee with no cream. The waitress says, “we’re out of cream.”
The guy says, “okay, then I’ll have a coffee with no milk.””
8. Don’t spill it.
“From Benny Hill.
A man fell down a flight of stairs with a glass of whiskey and didn’t spill a drop.
How did he do it?
He kept his mouth shut.”
9. Keep the change.
“The Zen novice walks up to the Master’s hot dog stand and says, “Make me One with Everything”.
The novice hands him a $10.
He waits and finally ask for his change.
The Master says, “Change comes from within.””
10. Oh, boy.
“How do you stop bacon from curling?
Take away it’s broom!”
11. Time to chomp some wood.
“A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?””
12. I will use this.
“Q: What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
A: One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.”
13. Dirty mind.
“What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
14. On the house.
“I went into a pet shop and asked for 12 bees, the shopkeeper counted out 13 and gave them to me.
“You’ve given me one too many.”
“That one is a freebie.””
“Nurse goes to the bank, needs to sign a check.
Reaches into her purse and pulls out a rectal thermometer. Panics and screams “some *sshole’s got my pen!””
How about you?
What is your favorite silly joke?
Please be a friend and share it with us in the comments.
Thanks a lot!