I personally think it’s an invasion of someone’s privacy if they’re staying in your house and you DON’T tell them you have cameras set up.
But that’s just me…
And that brings us to this story from the “Am I the A**hole?” page on Reddit.
Read the story, see what readers had to say, and THEN you can make a judgment call.
Sound good? Start now!
AITA for ‘Spying’ without advising anyone in advance?
“Married w/ 3 Adult kids. All employed and moved out.
Six months ago, 24-year-old single Daughter asked to move back home for a year to help save for an apartment. We agreed, and charged her only a small rent (that I planned to give back if she met her savings goals).
This past summer, wife and I went on a vacation and daughter, without our knowledge, held a party at the house. Upon return, we noted items in the house damaged or missing. Daughter admitted to what happened and committed to pay for damaged/stolen items.
I was upset and felt the privacy and sanctity of ‘my castle’ was violated. It made me sick to my stomach that strangers I didn’t know were in my house and pilfered through my stuff. I got over it and we moved on. However, I made it very clear to my daughter that NO VISITORS were allowed in our house in the future unless we were present and/or approved in advance.
Fast Forward to the Holidays. After Christmas, wife and I went on a 3-day getaway.
Prior to leaving, I installed a wireless ‘nanny-cam’ device in the living room that is hooked up to the internet. I did it on my own without advising my wife and daughter – Kind of like a ‘Trust-but-Verify’ situation.
After a day, I logged into the camera about 9:00 PM and although there wasn’t a party going on, my daughter had a guy in the house engaging in an activity I can’t unsee. I quickly turned the computer off and told my wife….and then SHTF.
She accused me of violating my daughter’s trust and dignity. She immediately called my daughter and advised that I was ‘spying’ on her – and our mini-getaway devolved into a series of mean-spirited comments and silent treatment. Upon our return home, daughter was in the process of moving out, and without getting into specifics, I’m apparently the equivalent of pond scum.
In my defense, what I saw for all of 5 seconds was not expected on my part. Daughter wasn’t in a relationship or even dating. Further, she violated my explicit rule of not having guests over….and there was only a single camera that covered the living room – not an area where there is normally an expectation of privacy.
Although it’s embarrassing all around, I don’t think ITA. I believe I was within my rights to protect and surveille my house in the manner that I did. Wife’s position is that I had no right to put a camera in the living room without her knowledge, and daughter’s position is that if she knew about the camera, she wouldn’t have invited anyone over, but nevertheless believes she did nothing wrong, as she was a rent-paying adult, and was entitled to have a single person over, and what I did was a gross invasion of her privacy.
For the record…I didn’t pass judgment. Daughter is a mature adult and could have engaged in whatever legal activity she chose – Just not in my house involving another person.
So here I am just over a week later, looking for the opinion of strangers on the internet?
And here’s what Reddit users had to say about this.
This person said that everyone in this situation sucks.
And this reader stood up for what the dad did.
Another individual said everyone in this story sucks except for the man’s wife.
What are your thoughts on this story?
Let us know in the comments.
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