Teachers have one of the hardest jobs on the planet, there’s no doubt about it.
But they occasionally get to experience a little levity during all that hard work of teaching impressionable young students.
Case in point: 2nd-grade teacher Emily Kooistra, who likes to write down all the funny things her students say throughout the year.
I have a book where I record funny things my students say. At the end of each year I update it and typically find myself cry laughing as I read through previous years. Here are my top 10.
— Emily Kooistra (@emily_kooistra) June 16, 2020
1. “I bet Jesus and Miss K…”
You can’t make this stuff up.
10. “I bet Jesus and Miss K will be best friends in heaven.”
— Emily Kooistra (@emily_kooistra) June 16, 2020
2. Haha what in the world?!
Kid, you don’t know how to curse yet. Stay in your lane.
9. “Mickey Mouse should be rated ‘R’. He says ‘gosh’.”
— Emily Kooistra (@emily_kooistra) June 16, 2020
3. They obviously love her!
And so much faith in their teacher’s ability to Krav Maga!
8. Lockdown Drill-
“Well, if he was by the window and looked scary, you could just punch him in the face, Miss K.” Their confidence in me is overwhelming.— Emily Kooistra (@emily_kooistra) June 16, 2020
4. Out of the mouths of babes!
But seriously kid… you don’t have that kind of money!
7. Spoken to the photographer as we’re posing for our class picture: “Tell me if I have a double chin.”
Runner up: “If I make a bad face, I have to pay my mom $30, because that’s what she paid for my pictures.”
— Emily Kooistra (@emily_kooistra) June 16, 2020
5. Gotta love sports practice!
But only if it’s not hurtful, right Mrs. K?
6. Prayer time-
“Dear God, please help my baseball practice after school not to be, like, long….and hurtful.”— Emily Kooistra (@emily_kooistra) June 16, 2020
6. Nice, now that other student has got the hang of it!
Pro tip… teachers get bothered too.
5. Student A: Miss K?….
Student A’s partner: No! Don’t ask her! She’s going to get so mad! She JUST went over this!”— Emily Kooistra (@emily_kooistra) June 16, 2020
7. History 101 has never been more entertaining
But these kids DO know where bad words came from.
4. Student A: Where did bad words come from?
Student B: A bunch of teenagers a long long time ago.— Emily Kooistra (@emily_kooistra) June 16, 2020
8. Make room for Jesus!
He likes Tootsie Rolls too, fam!
3. Me: I have a special place in my heart for Tootsie Rolls.
Student: Isn’t that special place supposed to be for Jesus?— Emily Kooistra (@emily_kooistra) June 16, 2020
9. Now that’s an intelligent student right there!
Brownnosing rarely has drawbacks.
2. Student A: Can we use markers?
Me: I would prefer crayons or colored pencils.
Student B: And what she prefers is going to happen, people!— Emily Kooistra (@emily_kooistra) June 16, 2020
10. Oh man, we are laughing at this one
This teacher has to be a happy camper, right?
1. Me: If you spill your soup on the carpet again today, I will not be a happy camper.
Student: Why are you always camping?— Emily Kooistra (@emily_kooistra) June 16, 2020
That was awesome! New rule for teachers: From here on out, all teachers must record the hilarious and totally bizarre things their kids say in the classroom and share them with the internet. We love these kinds of laughs! So wholesome and witty at the same time.
What are your best memories from elementary school? Were you a Chatty Cathy, or more quiet and reserved? Class clown? Teacher’s pet?
Let us know in the comments!
We’d love to hear from you!
