Parents, we think you deserve a break and we also think you NEED a break if you’re gonna hang on to that little bit of sanity that you have left right about now. And we think we have just the thing!
How would you feel about diving into some tweets from moms and dads about the day-to-day hilarity that they go through with those adorable little kiddos? You know you want to! And you know you’d love it!
So are you ready to get this thing going? Go ahead and enjoy these funny parenting tweets…because then you know you gotta get back to wrangling those kids soon!
1. A new kind of yoga.
Isn’t that adorable?
My 8-year-old was pretending to teach yoga and shouted “FART BREAK,” and with that, Americanized yoga a tad bit more.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 30, 2020
2. Being present in the moment.
Does this sound like you…?
Seriously though put the fucking phone down when you’re with your kids it’s-
NOT NOW CAN’T YOU SEE DADDY’S TRYING TO WRITE A TWEET GO BOTHER MOM WITH THAT BULLSHIT
-all about being present in the moment
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 30, 2020
3. It had to have happened that way.
Scarier than anything in books or movies…
I don’t know it for a fact that stephen king came up with the shining while on vacation with a toddler, I just know it’s true.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 29, 2020
4. A cute kid…
Just wait until she’s a teenager…
I asked my 3yo to show me her age with her fingers. She was having a hard time putting up 3 fingers, so she threw the I love you sign and said, "I love you! One, two, THREE" then webbed me like Spider-Man as she ran away. I love this age.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) June 30, 2020
5. Don’t ever say that!
It’s a nightmare! A total nightmare!
My son told me he couldn’t wait to grow up…
So I took out my vitamin day of the week organizer and explained every one. Next we discussed every body cream I have. Then we paid bills for the month. He was crying at this point so we had ice cream while we did meal planning.
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) June 30, 2020
6. Now it’s your turn.
Have fun waking him up…
The 11yo woke his dad up at 6am to go for a run today.
Finally after 11 years of parenting a kid is waking him up instead of me.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) June 25, 2020
7. Forming a fight club.
That sounds like a wild house.
My 4-year-old asked my 2-year-old if it was time to fight.
2 checked the calendar and said, "No, not yet."
Well, at least they are organized.
— A Bearer Of Dad News ✊? (@HomeWithPeanut) June 25, 2020
8. Please slam the door.
Mommy needs her alone time.
Me then: if you slam your door one more time, you are going to be in big trouble
Me now: ah the sweet sound of a slamming door that means alone time
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) June 25, 2020
9. We need to have a talk…
And I think you know what it’s about…
Now that we are potty training a 3 y.o. boy, I’ve notice my pee aim has come under a lot more scrutiny in this household.
— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) June 25, 2020
10. Brush up on your crisis management skills.
It’s good for you!
Parenting is 99% crisis management and 1% actual crisis.
— The Dad #BLM Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) June 29, 2020
11. That was a terrible idea.
And you’re going to pay for it dearly.
Me: You kids need to start finding your own belongings.
Kid: Look, I found my recorder.
Me: Son of a bitch.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 25, 2020
12. Ouch…don’t let him drive until he’s 25.
That’ll show him who’s boss.
8-year-old: Are convertibles cool?
Me: I used to drive one.
8: So no?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 24, 2020
Okay, all you moms and dads out there, now it’s your turn to sound off.
In the comments, tell us about the funny, maddening, and crazy things that your kids have done lately.
We can’t wait to hear your stories!