Money-back guarantees are important, do you agree?
You know it!
And we have an offer we think you won’t be able to refuse: you’re going to absolutely love these tweets…or your money back!
By the way, just so I don’t get into any trouble with my boss, we’re talking about Monopoly money…at least for now.
Hey, we’re running a business here!
The bottom line is you’re gonna love these tweets and they’re gonna make you laugh. So get started!
1. Yeah, that doesn’t really add up.
Get with the times, Gramps!
Older people love saying tattoos and piercings will ruin your life but stay in a loveless marriage for 40+ years. How dat work
— ᶠᵉᵉˡˢ🥀 (@onlyfeelx) October 12, 2021
2. You do you!
Ain’t no shame in your game!
Ignoring the red flags on my tl just like i do in real life 😂😂😂
— Yummy🤍. (@Hennessseey__) October 12, 2021
3. Little do they know…
People just need to keep their mouths shut.
Random angry men messaging me to tell me women aren’t funny, then listing the names of male comedians I could “only dream of being as good as”, and them being people I’ve written for, is what I’m having for my dinner tonight
— Laura Claxton (@fairycakes) October 11, 2021
4. Yeah, this is totally overrated.
When does the fun stuff start? Ever?
being alive is so expensive like i’m not even having a good time
— overtimë (@GuapamoIe) October 12, 2021
5. It sounds like he didn’t put any of the hard work in.
Another person BLOCKED.
yeah i blocked you,but did you email me? stand outside my house with roses? attached a note to a pigeon? no? oh ok
— phelixxx 💫⭐️💫 (@phelixxx__) October 12, 2021
6. Don’t you think lifetime appointments are weird?
And I’m talking about ANY job out there…
absolutely cannot relate to supreme court justices not wanting to retire. i’ve been ready to stop working since the day i started. sociopathic behavior.
— irene (@lanadelslayee) October 10, 2021
7. I don’t think that’s gonna happen.
I mean, just look at the track record.
“i’ll just get up early tomorrow and finish it”
!⃝ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗽𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗱
— let my people glo ✨ (@MichellCClark) October 12, 2021
8. Good luck to you!
You’re gonna need it…
Me whenever a close friend gets into a serious relationship pic.twitter.com/Cjlu1bV8fQ
— julia shiplett (@juliashiplett) October 4, 2021
9. This sounds very fishy to me…
You have to get to the bottom of this…
My boyfriend hasn’t texted me back in 20 minutes, does he have a secret family
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) October 12, 2021
10. You’re making a lot of people feel terrible about themselves.
There’s no disputing this fact.
Why are restaurants still making people choose between salad and fries? Just do a little bit of each and quit making everyone feel like trash.
— Ryan Beck (@iamryanbeck) October 12, 2021
11. It’s almost impossible at this point.
And I’ve had enough of it!
Is it me or is CAPTCHA getting harder?
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) October 12, 2021
12. They’re attracted to you for some reason.
Maybe it’s a sign of good luck?
I was looking at my favorite building in Rome, contemplating the beauty of this ancient city when, of course, a bird shat on my glasses. That makes time number 7!
— Kenice Mobley (@kenicemobley) October 13, 2021
We want more funny tweets!
And that’s where you come in…
Share some good ones with us in the comments.
We’d really appreciate it!