Just stay as far away as possible…
That’s what you should say to yourself after you notice a huge red flag from someone…
Because they are most likely just going to cause you a ton of heartache…
Let’s hear from folks on AskReddit about the big red flags they think we should all know about.
1. It’s not reality.
“Anyone who says they are unhappy with you because you don’t surprise them with spontaneous gifts or dates.
These people want a very specific type of relationship and expect you to fulfill the role without being told what that role is, only that it exists. These people are not interested in you.
They’re interested in a version of you they made up in their head.”
2. Gotta have a good one.
“Test her laugh.
If you can’t tolerate her laugh, it won’t work.”
3. Living in the past.
“I think constantly mentioning what his/her ex was doing and how their relationship was.
I did not get it first and thought it was normal but I once understood it was a red flag when I got dumped for no reason.”
4. Big time.
“People always looking for attention on social media platforms aka, “likes,” on a daily basis.
That’s a red flag for me.”
“When they don’t take you seriously.
My GF does not support my decision in studying computer science because now I will become ‘a nerd’.
Makes me kind of sad.”
6. No way.
“Guys who say “I like a clean home” and then they treat the whole place like a locker room while expecting YOU to pick up after them.”
“Accusing you of doing anything without any evidence, no matter how small.
I brushed that off early in a relationship and it eventually escalated to accusations of cheating and she became physically v**lent.”
8. A big one.
“When nothing is ever their fault and it’s always someone else’s.
Especially when it comes to past relationships.
If everyone they ever dated was a jerk…you’re just the next one in line.”
“When they treat people or animals who are “under” them socially poorly.
Just because someone has less money, is in a service position, or is just somehow “less”, you should treat them the same as if they had the same or more social standing then you.
Same goes for animals!”
10. A bad sign.
“My ex had zero girl friends. She had a rotating collection of guy friends, but no women ever wanted to spend time with her.
She’d occasionally make a female friend, at work or church, but quickly that friendship would sour without logical explanation. Her collection of guy friends were really just options she kept on the back burner while she entertained a relationship.
She made me believe that her guy friends were people she’d known forever, but that was only the case with her ex boyfriends that she kept around. She would conveniently omit that she dated these guys, and say things like “I love Nick, I’ve been friends with him since college,” but never say that they dated on and off.
She kept each of these guys on the hook by being emotionally intimate (in some cases physically intimate) with them, and constantly asking for favors. Eventually, the guys would get sick of being treated like an option and lash out, so she’d find a new one to invest time in.”
11. Gotta have boundaries.
I’m a therapist and I work a lot with clients trying to date healthier people. I always say assert your boundaries early. Assuming they aren’t ludicrous, green flag= person respects them, red= they don’t respect, criticize them, complain, etc.
I usually start the discussion with clients about useful boundaries with these two boundaries.
Maintain your routine. You go to bed at X time, then maintain that. Usually this will involve having to end chats or go home early. Green flag they respect it or try a little negotiation but ultimately respect you. Red flag they complain, make fun of you, treat it like a rejection, or punish you by icing you out for a bit. You need to GTFO.
Limit dates/hangouts to 2 to 3 times a week for earlydating. Red flags will try to suck your time and will respond similar to the above red flag response. Green flags probably won’t want to see you more than 2 to 3 times because they have a life too.”
12. Run as fast as you can.
“They’re disinterested in life/have no interests, hobbies, or ambition.
While this is more of a personal choice thing, life progresses and people that are fine with sitting in the status quo in my experience kind of get locked there mentally.
I don’t date people who don’t seem to have a lot of potential for growth.”
What red flags make you avoid people?
Let us know in the comments.
We’d love to hear from you!